jealous at work

{{{{{{{{{{Donna}}}}}}}}}}

I don't know what it is about the two-year anniversary, but mine has been tough for me too.  I was diagnosed 8/11/05.

We will get through it, and we'll be okay.

We've got your back too, girlfriend! 

The 2 year anniversary is something to celebrate ~ congratulations!

As for the jealousy about not being able to think into the future, about plans, we all get that.  It's a reality of what our lives are now. It's in situations like this that we are faced again with our reality.  We can put it "aside" from time to time and not think about it, but when it is called forward like that, it's smack dab in the middle of "everything".

Feel that emotion, feel that sadness and sorrow.  You've earned the "right" to that.  And then pick yourself up and get back to living your wonderful life.

And think on this ~ while all those you work with were probably thinking about big career plans and moves and how they were going to climb the ladder so that they could purchase multitudes of useless "things", you have the benefit of being able to look into a future of what today might be, what tomorrow could be, knowing that having a career and climbing a ladder are only a small part of what makes life worth living, that you don't need to make a mark in the world of being "somebody" because you are already somebody and you've had to face more challenge and struggle than quite possibly anyone else who was in that room.  You've climbed a mountain already and they're still working on a hill.

Hope you're feeling more joy and less sadness as the day moves on.

Donna, One of my favorite quotes "Life is what happens while you're making plans." Congrats on two years!

Cindy

Donna, I had dinner with a colleague whom I don't really know and what little I did know I didn't like.  We were on a business trip together and so we were forced to share our evening meal together too.

During the evening I found that he is a very kind, amiable and funny man.  He laughed at himself and made funny but affectionate comments on our co-workers.

The big thing that really moved me was when he said that he held me in great admiration for the battle I had waged against bc and the tough challenges that had been faced by me and won through.  I told him that, like all of us bc gals as Shirlann calls us, I just dealt with what was immediately ahead of me,step by step.  He reassured me that those little steps had made a heroic journey.

So Each Day is quite right about a mountain when others are still walking the hills.  But don't be put off making plans.  They are part of the fun of life so don't give up on it no matter what.  Even people who don't have bc have their plans thwarted so it's just part of living to have to deal with disappointments.

But I know your pain and send you a loving hug to get you through.  There will always be such days that bring you back to bc with a resounding thud, and we will always be here to catch you, dust you down and set you on your road again.  That heroic road that we are all taking.

Loving hug

Valerie S

Hi dear, this is so hard. But my mom's best friend had a double mastectomy for breast cancer in 1958. We all felt so sorry for her, because back then, BC was spoken of in whispers. All they had was Cobalt.



Fast forward, she is now 96, lives alone, plays contract bridge and is just fine. My mom, had a stroke at 84 and passed away. I still find this woman encouraging, every time I see her, I feel better.



There are thousands of us out here who have been treated and are well. We all know this thing can come back, but I am nearly 9 years post treatment and truly have moved on and don't worry nearly as much as I did the first few years after.



So just know, you too have a future. Anyone of us can step in front of a truck, who would have ever dreamt that Lady Diana would go when she did? No one has any guarantees, and this feeling of impending doom will lessen with time.



Gentle hugs, Shirlann

I loved your story, Valerie.  That is what life is all about, sharing our experiences with others.

Catherine