Scared & Confused

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Theresa1964
Theresa1964 Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Second or Third Breast Cancer

Hi - my name is Theresa and I'm new to the website.  I was recently diagnosed with a recurrence and like the subject says - I'm very scared and confused.  My original cancer was diagnosed 12/03.  I was 39.  It was ER+, no lymph node involvement.  Had a mastectomy, 4 rounds of chemo and went on tamoxifen.  It has spread to the lining of my lung - I had a plural effusion and spent 5 days in the hospital draining my collapsed lung which has not yet fully inflated nor does anyone know if it will.  I just got back from the hospital today after having my ovaries removed since the cancer tested ER+ again.  My Dr. has put me on Femera.  I of course am devastated as we all are by this monster.  My prognosis when I was first diagnosed was so good and I was certain I had beaten this thing.  Now I feel I only have a few years left to live and I'm trying to be so positve.  I feel that I should have known better and insisted I have my ovaries removed back in 2004 but I was so naive about everything and now I think I put my life on the line for not knowing any better.  Now I hear the Femera is really bad for bone loss and causes alot of bone/joint pain.  I thought my diet was relatively good - my weakness was some ice cream most nights - and now I feel I need to go raw and it's very overwhelming.  I practically live on Xanax now.  I just don't know what to do and I feel like I am choking.  Can anyone tell me if they've had a similar situation and how they're coping?  My Dr. says it's going to be 6 to 8 weeks before I even know if the Femera is working.  My anxiety level is through the roof.  Can anyone help?

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  • Pharmmom
    Pharmmom Member Posts: 300
    edited September 2007

    Hi Thereasa,

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with this again.  Remember you did everything you thought you should do originally so don't beat yourself up.  Even if you had your ovaries removed or whatever none of us knows what will happen.  Femara is a good drug and hopefully it will do the trick.  I am thinking of you and want to wish you well.  I hope that you see results with the drug in the 6 to 8 weeks. 

    Love

    Barb

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited September 2007

    Dear Theresa,

    Your reaction of fear and confusion sounds totally normal considering the shock of your new diagnosis. Given your original diagnosis, it sounds as if you did everything reasonable at the time to prevent a recurrence. This disease is so unfair.

    Have you posted the "Recurrence and Metastatic Disease" board yet? The wonderful women who post there will understand exactly what you're going through and can share their experiences.

    Barbara 

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  • miss-di
    miss-di Member Posts: 161
    edited September 2007

    Dear Theresa,

    I know exactly how you are feeling as I am going through the same shock and feelings as you.  I ask myself also, did I do something to bring it back and I know in my heart, I did not.

    It snuck up on me also,again.  I had my ovaries out the year before my first cancer in 2001, so please don't beat yourself up about a wrong decision.

    I have been taking Ativan for my anxiety. I can walk around looking normal but my insides just jump around all day long and I can not sleep.

    I was  re-diagnosed late July 07 and it does seem to be settling into my brain a little more each day and my will to fight gets a little more every day also.

    After I spent a couple days reading posts on this site, I see all hope is not gone. Many of these women have made it very long times after their second or third occurrences.

    I pray you and I will be just like them and still be communicating in the years to come.

    You are in my prayers.

    Di

    May an angel walk beside you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2007

    Theresa...You did NOTHING wrong the first time around....please know that. We have to trust the information and advice we're given by medical professionals and second-guessing our past actions is completely fruitless. You're doing the right things now...that's what's important. I wouldn't worry so much about bone loss with the Femara. If your bone density test shows any loss, you can take one of the biphosphanates like Boniva or Actonel. And if it's determined that the Femara isn't as effective as you'd like, there are so many other options to try.

    Hang in there, girl. We have so many stage IV women here who are thriving. You can be one of them!

    ~Marin

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  • Bimmer
    Bimmer Member Posts: 248
    edited September 2007

    I do not want to sound cavalier but you really must learn how to take a punch, and roll with the punches. If you are stage IV now, there is little doubt what you will eventually die from. It's all a matter of how and when.

       If you do have "a few years left to live" as you've said, then you have alot more than alot of people. I offer to you that you make these the best, most meaningful years of your life.

    Don't second guess your previous treatment decisions. I suggest that you always make the most conservative treatment decisions possible. Do all that you can to prolong your life for as long as you can. There are new mediacl breakthroughs all the time. The longer you live the better the chance that you might be able to take advantage of one of these breakthroughs.

    Accept what will happen. But, become an internet expert on your cancer and your potential cure. Don't panic, it won't help. It won't matter.

    Learn everything that you can. Maybe the cure will almost be ready, when you are almost ready. If you aren't aware of thr potential cure, it will do you no good!

    Good luck to you. Come see me in the Metastatic disease Forum..

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  • JoeyAnn
    JoeyAnn Member Posts: 51
    edited September 2007

    Dear Theresa -- I haven't been thru what you're going dealing with, but it sounds like you are doing exactly what you should do . . . dealing with this one step at a time.  Your feelings, anxiety, etc. are perfectly normal.  I will echo the comments of others.  There are many Stage IV women who are thriving.  Hang in there and know that if the first course of action doesn't work, there will be more to try.

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  • sisterlove
    sisterlove Member Posts: 74
    edited September 2007

    Thanks JoeyAnn for your encouraging words to my sister.  Unfortunately, she is having a very had time with all of this right now and has decided it is too early for her to draw strength from this site.  She has had 2 surgeries in a 3 week period of time, her body and mind are weak and she is feeling very sick.  She has started Femara and our goal as a family is to get her well physically so we can get her well mentally.  I hope that in the future she will become a regular participant, she is strong and when she sets her mind to it, there is nothing she cannot and will not do!  Thank you again for your support when she needed it.

    Hugs,

    Donna

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  • sisterlove
    sisterlove Member Posts: 74
    edited September 2007

    Hi Di,

    Thank you for answering my sister's post.  She is having a very difficult time right now having had 2 surgeries in a 3 week period, she is physically and mentally beaten up and feeling very sick.  I do think a 2nd diagnosis is as hard, or even harder to deal with, especially when you have been given a most positive prognosis as was my sister's case.  She will eventually stop beating herself up and realize she did nothing wrong and if I know my sister, she will want to help someone who is walking in her shoes just as soon as she has healed and has her strength back!  Our prayers are with you too Di and I know the both of you will definitely be communicating many, many years from now!

    Hugs,

    Donna

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