Making do with less
Comments
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Just checking in this morning and am finding a LOT of you have the same messy gene I have! My DH says that if there is one thing I am NOT, it's anal. He likes to call me Oscar. I guess he thinks he is the perfect Felix.
Actually, the DH can be his own sort of packrat. I think he still have every bent nail he ever pulled out of a board. Men are funny, aren't they? At lease WE save valuable junk. LOL
I was going to mention freecycle, which I just remembered, but I see someone beat me to it. I am actually on the local list but had forgotten about it! Talk about too much mental clutter.
Really, though, it's not finding places for the stuff that is so diff for me, it's really getting over the guilt. I know it's wrong-headed and, really, I'm not usually into the guilt thing. This is something I really have to work on.
It's funny, too, about some of the parents' stuff. Even my mother didn't use lots of it because she didn't like it. Now, I'm holding onto it because it was hers (and we weren't even very close. Maybe I'm substituting her stuff for her. I know our minds work in strange ways.) I really need to just let go.
I live in a rural area but on a well-traveled road. Every time I put stuff out in front of the house with a "FREE" sign on it, it disappears. I have visions of all my junk ending up in some other local house, packed to the gills. Take the shell away in a few years, and you'd think you were in my house!
I read some Flylady a few years ago. She thinks you should put lace-up shoes on first thing in the morning so you won't be lazy or something. Beats me. Anyway, if the 27 thing fling works for anyone, it's worth a try.
Where does Martha store all her extra dishes and fancy seasonal decorations? Someone will have to write to her for advice.
Please keep up with the suggestions. I'm loving it. Actually, you are motivating me to toss a bit out this very day!
Tina -
OMG I followed the link for the Fly Lady and answered yes to every question on the Master bedroom.
I just want a fairy to wave a magic wand - I don't want to be owned by all this stuff.
Can I have one of those matches, please? -
<hands Valsul a match ...and slips out the side window>
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As to the Martha question (my mother was/is a close 2nd to martha)..I buy very few seasonal items. If it doesn't fit in to a storage tub, it is gone!! except for xmas...=0)
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I am with you all.
Not that I plan on going anywhere, anytime soon... I have just finished cleaning out my dad's house and he has been gone for almost 3yrs. but with 30 something yrs of my family's stuff, it was hard to divide and conquer all of the accumulation. I live alone and don't want anyone to have to deal with all of my ol crap. I have so much more to do, but think about it often.
I am gonna try the Flylady method. The one with the LEAST toys (and junk) wins! -
I was reading about someone (forget who - an author) who gave away some of his prized possessions every Jan 1. He was asked why and said something to the effect of if I can give it away, I own it. If not, it ownes me.
Thought that was a good attitude - makes me want to start giving stuff away but I think I'd freak the family out! -
The idea of getting up and getting dressed right down to the shoes is a great one...during my darkest days of chemo I felt like a slug because I hated to shower (I was soooo cooold)-I went on to flylady and was reminded about getting dressed every morning=so I made the effort-shower at night so in the morning got right into my oufit, socks and even managed some lipstick-it didn't cure me but I felt more controlled-problem is I fell off the wagon again--
because of you guys I am getting right back on-today I set the time for 15 minutes and went through a pile of mail-when the time went off I stopped-I am not even close to being done but I am started. yahooooo -
Re: getting dressed first thing in the AM. DH and I take a walk every morning before he leaves for work. I cannot even linger over my coffee! This really works for me. I grumble about getting out there, but it gets me off my butt and moving. Then, the worst is over.
Re: junk mail. I now keep a recycling bin right inside the door and stop there first to toss out ANYTHING I don't know I really want to read. Most catalogs, all those credit card offers, the "your warranty is expiring" threats (bogus), all go right into the trash, don't even come in the door to the kitchen. That really cuts down on the mail hanging around!
If I had the nerve, I'd get a trash container for right next to the mailbox and leave it out there, but I realize the junk mailers would not see it and I would only be fooling myself. Still, it seems like it would be so satisfying, doesn't it?
Today, I am cleaning out my makeup drawer.
Tina -
Fly all you flybabies!
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My dh and I have just moved into asmaller home(I haven't been able to work since 2004 b/c of health reasons) so we needed to economize. Just as we down-sized, both of our adult children (25 & 23) moved back home. They had both been on their own for 4-5 years. After bc dx, they couldn't handle being in different city. Anyway, we had to declutter to make room for kids and had a yard sale. If we hadn't used it, looked at it for 3 years, we sold it. Most of the stuff was junk. We did sell 3 computers (can't get much for them) and we all bought laptops during back to school sales with tax free weekend. We made enough from yard sale nickle and dime stuff to pay for all thre computers. We love them. Nothing was allowed back in the house after sale all that was left went to Salvation
Army.
It was so freeing to get rid of so much stuff. Still need to go through papers and get rid of everything I don't need for tax purposes. I have a great paer that tells you how long and what papers you should keep.
Good luck decluttering,
Jackie -
Wallycat-I just have to say "de-crapify", now thats a WORD....and I fully intend to add it to my vocabulary if you dont mine
I am the proverbial woman with "sucker" written on her forehead!!!!!
I have a two car garage and last year two different people asked if they could store a "couple of things in it for a couple of weeks.....mind you that was last year.....it is so stuffed full with their crap that I cant even park in it!!!!!!! I called them both after reading this thread and asked them to please get it out of there as winter is coming and I would like to park inside this year...one is coming over this weekend to get there stuff....
The other?????? well, thats another story....apparently they have decided that since all that junk has been in my garage that they can live without it and told me that I can do whatever I'd like with it.....so looks like I will be making several trips to the used store and dump ...of course at my cost!!!!
But I must say....I have learned a good lesson by this......NEVER allow anyone to put their crap in my space!!!!!!!
I also have started "de-crapfing" another room of my house....my den/office....how long do you have to keep those old tax returns????
Maybe we could figure out how to use that match magically and just have it burn the stuff we dont want ....
Hugs
Jule -
You can get a good cross cut paper shredder at Walmart for pretty cheap. Start putting it next to wherever you dump your mail each day.
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Regarding financial and important papers:
Permanent papers (store in fireproof box):
Birth, marriage and deathe certificates, seperation or divorce agreements or adoption papers.
Passports
Copy of your will and health care proxy (living will)
Copies of IRA and 401K beneficiary designation forms
All current insurance policies
Long-term Papers (store in file cabinet or multi-file box):
Federal and State income tax returns and all supporting documetation. In most cases you don't need to keep this material for more than three years. That's howlong the IRS has to audit a return. However, ther are exceptions. The IRS can go back six years if they believes you've underreported your income by more than 25%. If you have had major losses that were claimed on tax return(ie. loss of business, property losses ect.) you may want to keep relevant papers for seven years.
Household papers such as receipts, instruction manuals and warranties for major appliances, you will want to keep as long as relevant. Also keep records of home improvements such as new roof,ect.
Short-term papers (also store in file cabinet or box):
Monthly statements from you bank, broker, mutual funds.
Any investment papers, pay sstubs (keep these until you receive your yearly statement, then shred) Keep annual statements for three years.
Credit card statemnts if they list tax deductible expenses or charitable contributions. If not shred them as soon as paid. Most can be viewed online.
Utilty and phone bills shred as soon as paid.
ATM and deposit receipts shred as soon as transaction appears on statement.
Buy a shredder!
Hope this helps
Jackie -
Jackie,
thank you for the listing.....I do have a shredder...I just wasnt sure how long to keep some of the documents....guess I know where my next de-crapifying" event will be ..... -
I just want to caution on the tax returns - normally, the IRS would not go back more than 3 years, however, if they believe they are investigating fraud, they can go back to the beginning of time, not just 7 years. They might assert fraud and if you don't have the records, you are doomed.
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I agree I enjoy de-cluttering
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I am afraid I de-clutter with acquaintances, too. After BC I was more interested in friends and less interested in acquaintances and far less interested in wasting time over lunches esp. with acquaintances.
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I'm with all of you ladies, less is best. I have been working on de-cluttering for awhile now. Whenever I see something I want I ask myself "Do I really need it?" Most of the time the answer is no so I don't buy it. A tip I learned from watching HGTV is for every one thing you buy you throw one thing away. Easier said then done I know.
My biggest problem is DH. He has more clothes and sneakers then I do!! Not to mention the books and CD's. How do I convince him to de-clutter?? Any suggestions??
Valerie -
I am on the band wagon (just took another load tonight), how do I get DH on it?? He has a backpack, skis, bowling ball, etc..not used for YEARS...UGH.
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Fitztwins I know exactly how you feel. My DH is driving me crazy. He stopped hunting after his cancer dx 6 years ago and you guessed it, he still has all the junk that goes with it. Bow, stand, arrows, clothes, target. etc. It drives me insane.I have managed to sell a few things of his on ebay but he has a long way to go. If any of you ladies DH's are in the market for some hunting stuff I know a place where you can get some cheap!!! LOL.
Valerie -
NYCMOM you hit the proverbial nail right on the head. I was feeling so rotten about how I need to stop cluttering up my life with difficult people. I recently had a friend who I have known for years that was completely absent during my surgery/chemo/surgery/infections...she called me to see if I was okay to talk to now because she really needed a friend, she hoped that I understood that while time was literally standing still for me, she was still very busy.
I exhanged pleasantries (because I am a wimp) heard all about her love life, and then told her I was too busy having cancer to go to lunch-(okay I am passive aggresive).
Time to throw out the old-you said and I agree. -
Amen, amen. I agree about letting go of destructive relationships. I've learned to trust my gut when it comes to feelings about people. Sometimes I do feel a bit guilty but then I remember that I don't need to take anyone's abuse just to make them feel better.
Today's project will be to put together a box of unused household items such as iced tea spoons, rice cooker, extra service of dinnerware, etc. and call it a back-to-school/dorm kit and hope I'm not too late to catch the wave on freecycle.org.
I'm also taking back the new scanner I bought last week. I tried installing it yesterday and every time it was almost there, my computer froze up. I'll be danged if I am going to spend the next several days trying to figure out how to install a $99 object. Will just live with my old scanner and hope it doesn't act up again as it did a couple of weeks ago.
Tina -
I am really contemplating the clearing of my home office tomorrow. I know your suppose to take on small things at a time but I just need to purge it and rearrange it. I spend hours in here a day and it is just bugging me.
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Sorry If I'm repeating, I didn't read all the posts. Recently. My DH and I downsied from 4600 SQ FT home to 3200 sq foot home. We have a teenager and a 4 yr. old. It may not sound like a big deal, but we have had to get rid of a lot of stuff including special pieces of furniture I've acquired over the years. And tossing lots of other stuff. We did this partly because DH is running is own biz now and his income is cut in 1/2, partly cause it's a lifestyle thing. I will go back and read all the replys. Love to hear everyone's solutions.
My goal, have a pied a terre in NYC or Phllly and a place in upstate NY (Frank Llyod Wright style.). Hey you gotta dream BIG!!! -
Annie, welcome. I am so into the pied-a-terre thing, too, only I wish for one in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I confess it's my favorite place in the world so far.
A second home would also be so convenient for all that unwanted furniture and stuff from the first home. WAIT! STOP ME BEFORE I ACQUIRE AGAIN!!!
The home office comment the other day prodded me to start moving things around in my own. Only it's a whole other (small) building, so you can imagine all the stuff that's in it. Oboy. Stubbed my toe (bare feet) really good on a floor basket full of stuff. Now, that will have to go!
Keep on trashin'. -
I usually have a good "toss out" after a major crisis or stress in my life. It feels so "good" to purge. And after breast cancer? We really do discover what matters and what's important don't we?
I think I really knew I "got this" after a dinner party a few months ago. I had used some of my deceased mother's "best china" and while we were cleaning up, one of the plates was dropped by a guest and smashed to pieces on the ceramic kitchen floor. She felt dreadful and I hopefully reassured her that it really didn't matter to me in the least. I know I would never have cried over that before breast cancer, and not even with it being a "memory" of my mother bothered me. It was a plate. Big deal. I was just glad that we were able to be together, to have a great meal, catch up with one another (this group hadn't been together in years) and the plate? Just something to eat off. It's the memories we make that matter. -
I did it. I spent many hours purging my office this weekend. We started Friday night. I completely emptied it. We got some paint and painted it too. Right now my dining room is piled high with stuff I have to go through but I have my desks, my computer, fax and phones up and running. I even washed the windows. I am not looking forward to going through all that stuff but I am looking forward to trashing most of it.
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Brenda, that is so cool. It must feel wonderful to have room to breathe.
Will have to put off more de-cluttering as I just had a call from the ps office saying they had a cancellation and can I go in tomorrow for my exchange surgery? Whaaaaa??? Of course, I can be there!
See you guys in a couple of days. Keep trashing!
Tina -
Tina,
Just wanted to tell you my thoughts will be with you tomarrow and congrads for getting the date moved up!!!!!
Wow, tomarrow!!! You must be excited and scared all at the same time.....
Post when you feel like it to let us know how your doing.....
Hugs
Jule -
All the best with your surgery Tina!
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