Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Skye, that's FANTABULOUS NEWS about your spot. Terrific!!! I hope you can now go on vacation and enjoy yourself.

WEDDING UPDATE: Nephew called last night. Says he does intend to finish college but he's excited about his job and no way is he giving it up. They have to make their own mistakes. Drove to the Post Office and sent the check and got doused in a terrible scary looking storm with tornadish clouds descending from every side...but to the west a bright red sun setting. Hmmm...

I'll go to the wedding and I'll cry and cry. I think I really wanted my little boy back to come and live with us...it's still going to be quite a conflict. Puppy may be having the surgery on her brain stem then and there is no way I'm going to want to tear myself away from her side if she's going through another serious brain operation.

We've decided that I am going down there to visit her in WV in September anyway for about two weeks. She likes to draw and both the guys are outdoor folks and we have lots of grand plans about camping and working on art together. I will just be so so so so sad if she doesn't get her good health back....please pray for her. This is so scary about her surgery.

Caya...everybody!!!..Let's start talking about a January get together. I am very disappointed Lynn can't do it (are you really sure you can't?!!!). I like the idea of getting on Oprah too. I also like the idea of basking in the sun somewhere with our sexy new hairdos and healthy bodies back. Or cozying up around my fire here with some Wild Turkey between ski runs...

I think a get together on our anniversary would be great!!!

Mizsissy

When we adopted our now 11 yr old golden, she was three years old. She had never been inside a house. All interior noises freaked her out totally. She also did not eat for almost 10 days. Poor thing was in a constant state of stress. It takes them awhile to realize that the dishwasher won't kill them, and that their new family really does want them there. She is a dream girl now. Harrison is a lucky boy, as are his new parents!

Topless! That's wonderful! I see a complete shedding of wigs and scarves in your near future. It is the best feeling to throw back those shoulders, hold the head up high, and just go with it....and you have a good head to
boot!

Hi All,
Mel, good for you! I am not quite there yet, still don't have much hair, but it is growing fast so I am hopeful that it won't be too long. I go topless when home alone and love it, but otherwise feel like I need to cover up.

Skye, I am sure you are worried, but the nurse's reassurance re the bone scans is a very good thing. We will all worry for you; you can let it go and enjoy your vacation.

Tina was right; the effects of taxol seem to wear off as gradually as they accumulated. I feel a bit better every day, am back to a nearly normal routine. The edema is sloooowly getting better, and my daughter was right, walking helps me.

I know we are all thinking of Rebecca today and sending her positive thoughts and prayers. It will be so wonderful when all the surgeries are over.

Sleep well all ....

Melia

yep, soon enough you're going to wash those scarves and pack them away, put that wig in the closet and hold your head high for everyone to see that you're a survivor.

If they don't get it, it doesn't matter. YOU get it!

Cindy

PS I'm actually considering getting a bit of a haircut. My bunny fur is long enough to just look puffy/bushy on top and I don't like it. I had enough compliments on the super short hair that I may keep it that way for awhile. But the thought of cutting off what I've waited months for galls me.

Mel, soon enough, you'll be hooked on going topless! You've made the first step!

Cindy, so sorry about your daughter! I'm sure she appreciates the time you are spending with her. Hopefully things will smooth over at some point.

Rebecca, thinking about you and hoping you are recovering from your surgery! love and hugs!!!

Melia, so glad you are feeling better every day. I am getting stronger and stronger 3 weeks after my last rad tx. It's amazing to me that I can still be awake at 11 or midnight, it's been quite a while since I did that on a consistent basis.

Skye, I'll worry with the rest of our sisters for you, have a great vacation!

Ellie, how is your recovery going?

Joni, I miss you but know you are probably having a wonderful time!

Rebecca,

LOL on the happy boob day! Thanks for posting, we've been thinking about you. You did it! Wow, how crazy he ordered the wrong implants..argh..but glad you came to peace with it. Rest and relax and recover!

love and hugs,
Lynn

Rebecca I am so glad that you are home and done with surgery. It must be a good feeling to have another step behind you. Sounds like everything went well. Hope you get more comfortable soon!

Yay Rebecca for making it through and for getting boobs that a plastic surgeon would rave about! I think it's for the best that you got saline too; that is what I would pick if I ever need to. Happy Boob Day indeed, and just keep taking those drugs to keep you in happy land while you need them.

Iowa Cindy, sympathies on the dd's problems. When kids are adults they still get boo boos but ones that run deeper and we can't just kiss away, but I think our support still makes a huge difference to them. I love that your hair is long enough to agonize over cutting. This may help: the other day I ran into my old hairdresser at the grocery store, and she was fascinated to see my crew cut. She said as soon as the top starts getting too long and bushy (she knows my too-thick hair) I should come in and get the front part shaped and razored in. That is exactly what I'll do whenever it gets to that length. Hey do you still have the cute white polka dot on top? Or has it blended in?

Viddie there are just some things our kids do that it's better we not contemplate too much, LOL! My ds2 spent one college summer at art school in Umbria, Italy, and then was awarded a travel grant from the Art Institute which he used to spend 11 months on his own in Prague, painting. Yikes! I'm sure there are many things I will never know and would rather not. :-)
I slept until 10 today which is unusual for me. I've been extra tired the past few days, not sure why unless it's the stress of book deadline crunch. I only have two chapters to go, yay, plus a glossary and timeline. And a couple of illustrations. Before my cruise next week! So I had better get hopping. Cheers to all...Skye

Thanx for the Happy Boob wishes Gals...it's a crazy BDay for me running around trying to keep my head on straight so I can pack for a long trip!!!!

Mizsissy

I'm doing very well Viddie. Thanks for asking. No special exercises this surgery, but after the mastectomy I had to work to get range of motion back for both arms and shoulders. You will need to do that too. They will show you what to do at the hospital.

I have one little incision issue. My belly incision has a little bit of necrotic tissue where it didn't perfuse well. I'm applying Silvedeen daily in hopes that this bad tissue will turn itself loose and fall off. Then some extra healing time will be needed. On the other hand, my boobs are great! No pain, no swelling, no bras! I love it.

A special greeting to Rebecca on your surgery and addition of boobs. Hope your recovery goes very smoothly. I know they are beautiful.

Quote:

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Hello all:

I'm going to try to get in on the chat tonite. Stopped by for a little bit on Tuesday, but had to sign off, as I wasn't feeling well...sorry Debbie.

Hugs to all....Joni

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No problem, Joni, our short chat was a good one, anyway. If I had just gotten home from a long drive, I don't think I could have stayed awake for a chat, either.

I am past my halfway point in Radiation now - #18 of 35 was today. So far, so good. The only place I'm red is over my collar bone. I'm applying the aloe when I get home everyday, and now I've added cortisone cream to the red area. Before bed and water aerobics I try to remember to slather the area with Aquaphor, too.

Rebecca, glad the surgery went well, and you are home. It always feels better to sleep in your own bed doesn't it.

Everyone who's taking a trip - I hope you have fun.

Catch you again soon.

Mary,
It's funny that you mentioned feeling a bit depressed with the Tamox. - I have felt "down" and very stressed the last couple of weeks - the littlest thing will make me get upset - I spoke to my onc. about this today - he said that these are normal feelings for women as they go through menopause, never mind the BC diagnosis, surgery, chemo etc. Also that when the "rock of the family" - moi - is sick, really sick - it is out of character for that person and the family can find it hard to adjust. I discussed taking Effexor to alleviate this depression and also has the s/e benefit of relieving the hot flashes - I got a script for it and will think about it - it is for the lowest dose, 37.5, - Mizsissy, I know you are on it and are happy with it.
He also gave me a real pep talk about my good prognosis, that he is looking to "cure" me and that I have to get on with my life and not let the cancer become my life. I felt more relaxed after this good conversation with him.
I see it's chat time, I'm going to see who is out there tonight.

Hi All,
I missed the chat; hard to make on the West Coast with dinner time, etc. Had a very busy day, didn't sleep well last night, so it will be an early nite. My daughter (the one whose wedding is in Oct) is coming home on Sat, and my son and his gf are coming Sunday. Anne and I have quite a bit of wedding stuff to do, which will be fun. I am looking forward to a houseful, but do need to shop for food tomorrow. My daughter is a vegetarian, has been since she was about 12, and that makes it hard for me to figure out what to serve.

Depression ... I am not on tamoxifen, because of triple neg, but I think we have been thru a depressing time. My moods swing from "I am fine" to "What if it comes back?" I can be really happy one minute and panicked the next. I tend to think that we all just coped with this incredible assault, and now we are trying to process it. And since most of us felt just fine 9 months or so ago, we now are trying to recover from feeling awful, dealing with side effects, and trying to get our lives back. I think it's normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Which didn't help me last nite at 2 am as I was lying wide awake and panicked.

Parenting adult kids; it is not easy. I try to not offer advice unless asked, but watching them make mistakes and deal with pain is very difficult. I so wish I could wave a magic wand and have my 8, 10, and 12 year olds back.

Viddie, yes, I can hear the ocean at our beach house. It is a lullaby at night and an ativan during the day. It soothes and calms me, and I come home much more centered. We leave the drapes open at night, and when I wake during the night, I can see the moon on the ocean.

Caya, I am so glad the dr gave you such an encouraging talk. You are right about the mom being sick; I remember when the kids were tiny and I had a terrible flu. Our oldest was only 3, and she stood in my bedroom doorway and asked "but who will fix my dinner?" Yuck.

Sweet dreams,
Melia

Hi girls. Mary, that's a drag about your gyn appointment - especially since you subjected yourself to a spinning class at that ungodly hour of the morning in order to be there. But babies do have a way of coming whether or not someone else already had that time reserved. I used to have a gyn dr. who didn't do babies anymore - that office ran like clockwork without all the disruptions. Unfortunately I didn't like the doc so much.

Caya, your wall units are gorgeous - looks like you have a really lovely home, too.

Mizsissy, happy belated birthday! Rebecca, I'm so glad your surgery is over with and your'e doing well. I hope you're not too uncomfortable. That's bad luck about the silicone/saline mix-up, and I'm sure it must have been upsetting at the time, but it says a lot about you that you were able to get past it and be happy with what you have. I'm glad it went well and your surgeon was pleased - have you seen them yet?

Melia, as you so often do, you have once again written just what is on my mind. I too am going back and forth between "I am fine," and "what if it comes back," or worse. I was so strong for the first 9-10 months, and so positive - now it seems that I really finally got it that I have (had) cancer, and because I am triple negative also and won't have any more treatment, I really question whether I did enough, soon enough, to survive this. That is in my darkest moments. Like I told someone last night, I think that we have to pass through that stage at some point, but I still feel bad for feeling it.

I've been putting off coloring my hair, partly because dh likes my salt and pepper look, but I think I'm finally going to do it tonight. A week or two ago I said I was going to post a picture of my topless head, and here it is (I hope). It's a bit longer now, but not quite there. I haven't gone topless again yet, but it's nearly 100 degrees this week so it won't be long.

I have a new camera, got a great deal on it on sale plus open box discount, so maybe I'll get some more photos taken and posted soon. Hope you all have a great weekend. We're going to try to go see the new Bourne Whatever movie, and go out to dinner tomorrow. We haven't planned something like that in a long time - we get so busy doing chores on the weekend.

Hugs to everybody.