question for you old timers

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Methusala
Methusala Member Posts: 285
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Now that I've had my mastectomy, do I really still have cancer? Do I tell people "I have cancer" or "I had cancer removed" I know this sounds dumb.. but what do you say to people?

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  • purplemb
    purplemb Member Posts: 1,542
    edited August 2007
    GMG....Well here's my explaination...since my Dr, who I think is yours too...CUT away the "cancer" I say I'm a survivor....BUT just like others we wait for the other shoe to drop, so I don't say it too loud, and pray the NED stays with me always...good luck and keep your head up ..remember i'm only 20 minutes away...
    hugs MB
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  • Sachi
    Sachi Member Posts: 351
    edited August 2007
    I always say I HAD cancer. It's gone.. out of there... finished.. and that's the way I'm going to think about it! If I'm wrong...well, I'm wrong. But in the meantime I am cancer free.
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  • cbl
    cbl Member Posts: 123
    edited August 2007

    When I was diagnosed with DCIS I could never bring myself to say "I have cancer". It was a denial/defense mechanism of sorts. Since surgery my doctor considers me cured and I like the sound of that. Like Sachi, I am currently cancer free so if anyone asks, I tell them I had DCIS (still cannot say I had cancer out loud) and that I am cured.

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  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited July 2008
    I just say I'm NED or in remission. There is no cure for breast cancer at the current time and my oncologist still orders scans every 6 months so apparently she doesn't consider me cured either.

    But, mostly, I think the answer to this question is a 'personal' thing as much as any. You will get a wide variety of responses depending on how everybody decides for themselves what they consider themselves to be.

    I'm a survivor without fear and full of hope.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    It has taken me nearly 2 years to be able to say "I had cancer" as opposed to "I have..." I was afraid that I'd jinx it right back into my body if I denied possessing it. Crazy? Absolutely. But you're ready when you're ready. If, however, someone asks something like "Did you beat it?" or "Are you all cured?" I have to say "At this point, there's no evidence of it" or, simply, "So far, so good."

    Marin
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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited August 2007
    I guess I have very special friends and family.They all refer to "when you HAD cancer." or "When you were on chemo.."
    And any newbies to my life actually never ask those Qs either.The usual statement is "You look WONDERFUL!"
    (Course I looked wonderful (healthy) when I was dx, too.I was..perfectly healthy except that I had cancer?)
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  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 405
    edited August 2007
    I always say I'm cancer free but have a hard time not adding "for now, it could come back anytime." It's awful isn't it? I think the people closest to me know it's a waiting game when those yearly scans come up but when I get a clean scan I definitely don't think of myself as having cancer. In fact, I went to the ENT last week and there was a blurb for "current conditions" and I did not check "cancer." That felt good
    Hugs
    Erica
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    I too have a hard time saying, "I HAD cancer." When someone asks I say so it's gone as far as I know. My brother in Texas just asked me yesterday about it. He said something like they haven't found anyting again.. I said "no." However I do not have any "extra" tests unless I show signs of symptoms. So, of course I suppose most of us always wonder.
    Shirley
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  • mccarroll
    mccarroll Member Posts: 360
    edited August 2007
    I'm giggling about this. Maybe we should nickname cancer "IT-That-Must-Not-Be-Named".

    I too say I HAD cancer but admit that I look over my shoulder way too many times when I say it. My surgeon says we can't consider ourselves cancer-free, this stuff is just too sneaky. I keep waiting for the next shoe to fall. But I'm going to live like I HAD cancer and like all the above, if it happens it happens.

    Karen, the past Cancer Lady
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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited August 2007
    I always say I am in remission.

    This is the truth after all.

    Wendy A
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  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 1,106
    edited August 2007
    GMG - As many have said, I think it's a personal thing, and what you feel comfortable with.

    Personally, I now say I had cancer, but I'm not really sure when I started using the past tense, pretty recently I think.

    It's funny how so many of us have the "don't jinx it" thing going, and don't really want to say it too loudly that we're NED.

    When people point blank ask, "so they got it all?" or "so, what's your prognosis?" or any of the many lovely questions they ask, I never sugar coat it. I say, "The best I can say is that there is NED right now. I have follow-up appts every 3 months to check for recurrences or mets."

    Buy hey, NED is pretty darn good - I'll take it!

    Best of luck to you sweetheart!
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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited August 2007
    I was dx with DCIS in April 07 and had bi-lat mast June 1 to make sure that it would not return.

    I do not have to do any additional treatments and go back to my surgeon in 6 months.

    When people ask me I say that I am doing great and I had cancer - it does not have me.

    Sheila
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  • trixiegram
    trixiegram Member Posts: 126
    edited August 2007
    GMG,

    I guess I qualify as an "oldie" ( joined this club in 2003 ) and I don't make it on the boards much anymore - but just happened to be visiting and saw your post, so thought I would also respond.

    As others have stated, each have their own personal take on how they view their status concerning the cancer they have battled. One sees "dancing with NED" in many posts.

    I for one, don't use the words "cured" or " remission " but rather say I beat it! Will it return some day and " beat " me - who knows. Afterall, life doesn't come with any warranties or real guarantees!

    I decided long time ago not to waste whatever time I have left, worrying about its return. That isn't to say I don't take the the prescibed periodical tests, scans, etc.... But the BC has already stolen too much from me and my family - I'm not going to let it steal anything else if I don't have to. If it returns, then I will face it and fight it again. Don't dwell on the negative Darlin' - it will prevent you from enjoying the good stuff life has to offer.

    Like the rest of us, do what works for you and hopefully you will develop peace of mind that will keep the wolf from your door. Hoping NED is life long dancing partner with us all.

    Niki
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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited August 2007

    I had cancer and if I get it again, I'll treat it. Until then, I'll be cautious and watch out for it, but I won't panic any more about different pains and things.

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  • Chattypatti
    Chattypatti Member Posts: 241
    edited August 2007

    I use it in the past tense, "I had cancer." since I consider it gone. Of course, just like almost any illness, it can come back.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    I remember watching Oprah when Elizabeth Edwards and hubby were on the show before her mets dx. When Oprah asked her about her "cancer status" she answered her by saying something like its' gone as far as we know. She was cautious just as the rest of us are.
    Shirley
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  • VickiTN
    VickiTN Member Posts: 361
    edited August 2007
    Count me in as one of those who have a hard time saying, "I had cancer" because I'm afraid that it will jinx me....I always say "I'm a bc survivor"....

    And, it did take me a long time to stop saying "I have cancer"...
    hugs,
    vicki

    ps - SOOO good to see you here Trixiegram/Niki!
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  • winner
    winner Member Posts: 50
    edited August 2007

    I usually say I was previously dx with breast cancer but had surgery to remove it.

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  • Naniam
    Naniam Member Posts: 1,766
    edited August 2007

    Sometimes people look at me and say "but your fine now aren't you" At those times, I just say "yes, I'm fine". Other times, I just say I "had" breast cancer. By saying that to me it isn't there now - I can't say I'm a survivor though.

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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited August 2007
    Hi everyone, my old standby is: "SO FAR, SO GOOD". This is great as it is short and tells the truth. If people are truly interested (most are not) in details, they will ask more, but for the ones who are just being kind, this answer says it all, quickly.

    Hugs, Shirlann
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  • Pauline3837
    Pauline3837 Member Posts: 39
    edited August 2007

    I don't refer to myself as "I had cancer or I have cancer". I simply say I'm a breast cancer SURVIVOR. Survivor being the key word. I will keep on attending my appointments for scans and what not and I will continue taking the dam arimidex (or whatever other poison they put me on) and hopefully I will continue my dance with NED.

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  • Blundin2005
    Blundin2005 Member Posts: 1,167
    edited August 2007
    Wow, first I needed to think "am I really an old timer?" And I remember so clearly wondering if I would "see tomorrow".

    It's a struggle to respond to people, but it's getting easier. I answer that I was dx'd with bc, had surgery and so far so good...only the SE of Arimidex are in my way now.

    I was talking about this phenom the other day with a friend. It seems that our nature needs to put it all into a little spot more manageable. When I say our nature, I mean not just we who have/had the disease but everyone around us. If it makes people feel better to think that we are "so strong" on the outside..... while we are coming here to rant, laugh, cry, querry, hope and otherwise "so not strong" inside .... well then that is theirs and our lesson of life in this moment....only that. In the scheme of things, the definitions are not very important ... only the reality. And whether it's diabetes, heart disease, etc. we are all of us served the plate at some time or other.

    wooops, going on again aren't I?

    Best wishes to you all,


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