I hate having a BC history...
For some reason it just makes me sad. To have to list that on normal medical stuff. Cancer? yes, BC. mother.
I feel like my boys have lost thier family history of good health.
I remember being so proud my great grandmother lived to 99. My grand parents all into their 80's. Gosh, will my boys have that? The Fitz side is pretty much cancer free. They have anerysms (sp) and heart issue, but otherwise okay.
I was talking to my MIL yesterday her mom (DH grandma) died of BC. WTF???
Okay, I am off my soapbox today.
Janis
Comments
-
I'm sorry
I come from a family history with a ton of cancer and it does get me down sometimes..but I did have family that lived old with the cancer....you will also...BC will be a thing that your boys can say..look, my mom overcame it
Gentle hugs -
I can relate...
Everyone on my dad's side of the family died from High Blood Pressure/Stroke related causes, no one lived past age 70 until my dad, who is 72. He is only still alive and with us, I am sure, by virtue of bypass surgery, a pacemaker, and lots of medicine.
I don't have children, and, short of adoption, will never be a mother. Interestingly, my mother was given heightened scrutiny when a recent mammogram showed a suspicious area -- the reason being that she now had a family history, thanks to me! Thank goodness her biopsy was B9. -
-
I don't have children Janis, but I know what you mean. I always used to cruise right down those little boxes checking no, no, no, no- now I have to stop and say yes at the cancer question.
And if they ask for a surgical history I need to request more paper!
Love,
g -
Me too. Not so much in the medical arena, as I know the history is very important in every aspect of my medical care, dental too. the docs know where I am coming from physically, and most know emotionally. I had a thyroid nodule and the doc understood why i wanted it out!
But what I hate is the "etiquette of cancer". For instance, why am I bothered that a new aquaintance already knows my history that she heard thru the grapevine? I am tired of being cancer lady- I just want to be Margerie. -
I can relate. However, my sister, who is two years younger than me, is really really freaked out about her chances of getting breast cancer now. She wants me to get genetic testing to know how much risk she is at. She is getting yearly MRI's of her whole body to make sure she catches cancer early AND she is scheduling a bilateral mastectomy and oophorectomy... she has gone bazurko!! And all because of my breast cancer history...
Wendy A -
-
Like TIna I don't tell except on a need to know basis. Sympathy has its place but is best given by those who really know and care about us. I don't want to have colleagues and students knowing too much about me and second guessing my every problem. That sounds so paranoid! I was raised to think LBJ had gone too far when he exposed his appendectomy scar on TV! So maybe I'm just old-fashioned. I do tell all doctors and dentists full hx since I think it goes a long way towards getting better care. I too was taken aback the first time I filled out a medical questionaire for my child's dentist and had to claim a bc connection for her. I felt so guilty for despoiling my children's relatively clean record!
My best to all,
G. Marie -
Quote:
I can relate. However, my sister, who is two years younger than me, is really really freaked out about her chances of getting breast cancer now. She wants me to get genetic testing to know how much risk she is at. She is getting yearly MRI's of her whole body to make sure she catches cancer early AND she is scheduling a bilateral mastectomy and oophorectomy... she has gone bazurko!! And all because of my breast cancer history...
Wendy A
Hi Wendy.
I don't suppose there's much you can do to rein your sister in...but I was wondering if she has seen a genetic counselor? I suspect she could get a better sense of her real risk and appropriate monitoring--and maybe since it would be from an "expert" she would believe it.
Just an idea, but if she's spending all that money on MRI's, etc., maybe spending a little on a session w/ a genetic counselor could help.
LisaAlissa -
Wendy, why doesn't your sister get tested herself? It makes much more sense than you getting tested.
-
Since I have two daughters (and two sons) starting a family history of cancer has been very distressing for me. I do not have the BRCA gene, but I still know that they are at increased risk. I also agree that I don't like being defined by cancer. So many people know I have had it, and I really regret that, because I know how I used to think about others with cancer before it happened to me! I know how much my family worried about me and it sort of a "double edged sword" - I am so grateful for their love and support, but so sad that they had to go through it with me.
Linda -
WEll, my DDs have to fill out their own family history as they are all adults now. However, I don't believe me having bc ups their risk. I was dxd after meno. But their gyn still wanted two of them to have a baseline mammo.
There was no family hx of bc in my family either. However, how dumb was I to think I'd be in the clear!? Eight percent of women with no family hx gets bc.
Shirley -
Yes, do tell your dentist if you want the best care.
Family histories are tough - mine involves all 4 grandparents dying fairly young of heart disease, my father having his first MI at 35 and dying 8 years after his second and stroke during CABG, mother having every part of the metabolic syndrome except diabetes plus "every other disease in the book". I felt nice and cozy about breast cancer even tho mom had it twice and my younger sister had it. (Turns out mom is BRCA neg.)
We didn't choose our parents.... But do have to learn to live with our genetic predispositions. -
I had no history of bc, and my relatives all lived (and are still living) long lives, into their 80's and 90's. I have 2 sisters, and I'm concerned about the younger one, as the older one had a benign lump removed years ago. Fortunately, she has been very good about getting her mammos on time. Still, somethimg could pop up within that year that could get to a big size. My 24 year old daughter now says "Gee, getting old sounds like SOOO much fun!" She currently has no medical insurance that covers office visits. She just graduated from college and is looking for a job. I hate that med. ins. is tied to employment!
-
Jorf, just curious. How do you think knowing my bc history would change my dental treatment? I'm not being argumentative, just think I may have overlooked something obvious.
Tina -
Well, my sister told me she went for genetic counselling and they told her it would be FREE for me to get it. So, she is pushing for me to get it.
I don't really understand her over the top anxiety. I think her family doc is fuelling some of it.
All I can do is offer her lots of cyberhugs. We live across the country from each other.
Wendy A -
My mother is a 6 yr bc survivor and her sister died in 78 with ovarian cancer. My mother had the genetic counselling and testing done after her surgery because she was told that the person dx with bc needs to be tested first. If she is found with the BRACA gene then is easier to find the gene in the siblings/daughters. My mother had the test and was negative, this year I was dx with DCIS so much for genetics.
Sheila -
Ya'll know this just makes me wonder?
So just what does a mother's BC have to do with a son's eyes? So if Wendy is BRAC free what does that say for her sister - darn close to absolutely nothing. Nice that it is free but you get what you pay for. Why does everybody and his uncle need to know what my great aunts died of?
I have a great nephew with hemophilia, probably one of the most famous hereditary diseases of all time. Well after much testing - it is a mutation. His grandmother, his aunt his mother don't have the gene. It's just him. Mutations happen, it isn't all inheritance.
None of us has bequeathed our children a perfect genetic make-up - such a thing doesn't exist. People need to stop beating themselves up, family history is just information - not destiny. -
Tina,
I like the "need to know" approach. I can't see how the dentist knowing you had bc helps him. Now if you're on a med that could effect the kind of painkiller he uses when he deadens your gums for a procedure--that's another thing. I've also seen an orthopod who had this long history form--what surgeries? I didn't mention bc. -
Janis, I now hate filling out those medical forms and having to list my cancer history. It makes me sad. I had genetic testing done and tested negative for brac1 and 2; however, the letter I received from the genetic counselors indicated my daughters have a 30% chance of recurrence due to a mother diagnosied at 49 and aunt diagnosed at 53. I am hoping they can start mammograms and MRI's at 30. My oldest daughter is 28 and yes it bothers me that my daughters will be listing having a mom and aunt with bc on medical forms a lot in the future. I just pray that they will have good insurance for all the tests ahead of them. It saddens me that I have passed this worry on to them.
-
Oops, that should have been 30% chance of getting bc not recurrence. Guess that tells you where my mind usually is.
-
Your dentist is not trying to be nosy. Breast cancer treatments are systemic (whole body) and can affect your oral health. Also as mentioned, important to tell dentist of all your medications and why you are taking them.
Even after active treatment, you will want to watch your teeth and gums closely. Your dentist can also help if you are having trouble with oral hygiene if you suffer carpal tunnel, or joint pain from hormonal therapy.
http://www.cancerwise.org/june_2006/disp...&color=blue -
Tina,
I have implants and so need to take prophalactic antibiotics prior to dental work; and the chemo affected my gums, so I did tell my dentist.
I don't have as hard a time sharing, I guess. I have no family history of cancer, but have been found to be BRCA2 positive, and so i WANT the kids' doctors to know and check skin, etc. more closely.
Pragmatically,
Flashdif -
I'm just hoping it stays HISTORY!
Margerie, sounds like you know a Dentist...Hmmmmm ,LOL -
I feel kind of like a medical outcast with regard to my bc. I used to have a donor card signed in my wallet, in case I got in a car wreck or something, I always felt good to know that my heart or something would go to help someone else. Now, after bc, nobody wants my donation, if you will. I just threw my card in the garbage a few weeks ago.
Shannon -
I hate it too. I hate that everytime I have a new dr I have to explain the whole thing. I really hate it when I meet new people - like co-workers - and I have to eventually explain it to them. I wonder at what point I won't feel like they need to know or that I should tell them. When it will be far enough in my past that I doesn't "matter" anymore if that makes sense.
-
I think about this alot. Hate filling out new medical histories and having to write yes to breast cancer. Somehow it brings back reality to me everytime.
My dentist is a big part of my healthcare team. Ever since bc and chemo, she has me come in for a cleaning every 4 months. When I went to her last week for a cleaning, she found a white spot on my gum. Immediately said, "normally I would worry about this but with your history we may suggest you get it biopsied!" Ohhhhhh I hate that "because of your history."
Nicki -
Margerie, thank you for the link, that was very interesting - I have a fair bit of trouble with my teeth, lots of crowns, just had a root canal done, but it is over a year and a half since treatment - I always tell them about bc.
Linda -
Yeah, for my eye exam the Dr. said because of your history we should dialate every year. I said, if it does hit my eyes then what? Seriously at that point it would have spread pretty much every where. BC is one of the few that mets to eyes. Although rare.
still sucks. -
I hate having to list all the cancers in my family just because it really makes me feel sad, but as far as the doctor or dentist, they need to know your whole medical picture in order to give you the best medical care possible.
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team