General Concern -- OT Posts

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Member_of_the_Club
Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
I hope I am not offending anyone by saying this but I am concernd that the amount and tone of the off topic posts has become divisive. If you look at the moving on section, most of the topics are O/T. That's fine, there is a social aspect to these boards, but often women are expressing strong opinions and these threads evolve into arguments.

I have strong opinions myself but I try to reserve them for other websites. I have started just not reading anything here that doesn't have to do with breast cancer. I guess I am just asking everyone to pause and think a moment about what kind of atmosphere you are creating here. This is where women come in those scary days when they've just finished treatment and I hope everyone feels welcome.
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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited July 2007
    Quote:

    That's fine, there is a social aspect to these boards, but often women are expressing strong opinions and these threads evolve into arguments.



    I agree. I was just thinking to myself as I was reading one of the threads, "why must each topic get turned into a debate where a person has to prove their particular point each time"
    Maybe we should have that "Debate" forum back so people that like to debate can have at it. I hated debate class in school

    Bugs
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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited July 2007

    I love to debate!!! But there is a time and place and not sure if a support board is either. Surely there is a debate site folks can join and argue all day.

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  • sns
    sns Member Posts: 60
    edited July 2007

    I've always thought the Moving On forum was the appropriate place for O/T topics. Nothing wrong with a little debate - trick is to not take what is said personally.

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  • DragonladyTina
    DragonladyTina Member Posts: 371
    edited July 2007
    I agree, the posts can get a little nasty at times, I don't mind a little debate either but I disagree strongly when the poster is attacked instead of the post.

    It's difficult when you are here in cyberland instead of real life, it hard to convey your feelings in print, no body language to gauge etc. Some folks are more sensitive than others. Some people can take a joke, some have a hard time with that. Everyone is different.
    I don't mind debate, just be kind.

    Tina
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  • miamimama
    miamimama Member Posts: 77
    edited July 2007

    I think it's telling that the OT posts usually have the most responses. I, for one, enjoy them. It reminds me that there is a world out there to stay interested in.

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  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited July 2008

    I think there is a clear and convincing reason why the BCO moderators did away with our Debate Forum. It is very devisive and counterproductive to a support group. It appears to me that some are maybe trying to turn the Moving Beyond Forum into the now gone Debate Forum. I hope the moderators can get a handle on this.

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited July 2007
    Quote:

    I've always thought the Moving On forum was the appropriate place for O/T topics. Nothing wrong with a little debate - trick is to not take what is said personally.



    Well said. I see part of moving on as getting outside of ourselves and discussing the world as a whole and topics which concerns us. I know if I see something I'm not interested in, I just don't read it.
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  • Sierra
    Sierra Member Posts: 1,638
    edited July 2007
    I agree,

    as long as everyone is being
    civil to one another
    and having healthy debate

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  • shokk
    shokk Member Posts: 1,763
    edited July 2007

    Ya'll just got to love this........having a debate on whether or not we should debate...........

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  • sherloc
    sherloc Member Posts: 1,047
    edited July 2007

    hahahahah shokk you crack me up

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  • Emelee26
    Emelee26 Member Posts: 569
    edited July 2007
    lol
    image
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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited July 2007
    uh oh, I think you just started another debate I don't mind the O/T as this is moving beyond. I do not like when things turn nasty. I fell when someone doesn't like what is said they should just exit the thread and move on. When someone starts quoting people out of context and slamming them it gets ugly. We are all adults and as adults we should act like one. When I see a thread I don't like or it offends me I simply don't open it again. I would bet the nastiness would stop if everyone would react like that.

    LuAnn
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  • Emelee26
    Emelee26 Member Posts: 569
    edited July 2007

    I think the problems would stop if we just all posted cute pics of cats..hehehe

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  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008
    I like a lot of the O/T stuff. Most of it is someone telling a funny story, something happening in one of our lives that isn't cancer related, or talking about what will happen next season on grey's anatomy (tee hee)

    I think the purpose of creating the wagon forum was for topics like O/T stuff to be posted over there. I for one never visit that section b/c I think it's very clicky (is that even a word?)
    Topics here sometimes get out of hand, but come on now-- we ALL know that there are a handful of girls here that ALWAYS seem to be involved with the nasty debates. We also know that there's a handful of girls that are constantly running to the moderators b/c they get offended by the things that you or I might not be offended by.

    This isn't eutopia. We are all normal (okay, somewhat normal) people trying to connect in this already crazy world- and then add to that the fact that we have BC fears looming over our heads.
    Sometimes reading posts about topics that have nothing to do with cancer, is just what the doctor ordered to keep my mind from wandering to the world of what ifs?
    And of course I could go elsewhere to take my mind away from cancer, but being here, feels like people are holding my hand along the way...(something I could never ask of my real life friends, b/c I would NEVER want them to think I live my life daily with the aftermath of surviving cancer-- and what that actually means.

    Doing away with off topic threads would be a pity. I don't think we need to remind people about responsible posting-- we're all adults here. If you have no interest in a thread, then don't click on it.
    And if you're one of those people that personally attacks others, (which by the way is dispicable) well, karma will get you in the end.

    LOVE TO ALL
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  • Catherine
    Catherine Member Posts: 305
    edited July 2007
    I love the cat photo. It looks just like one of our former cats, Polly, who passed away from old age at 19 years old.

    Catherine
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  • LisaAlissa
    LisaAlissa Member Posts: 1,092
    edited July 2007
    Beth, I love your post!

    Thanks for saying a lot of things so well...

    LisaAlissa
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  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited July 2007

    I wasn't suggesting doing away with anything, just saying we should lower the temperature.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2007
    image
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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited July 2007
    I agree, MotC.
    I actually never join threads that are incurring debate.
    I dont come here for debate, and dont enjoy it wherever I am.
    All my OT threads are either little "thoughts of the day", or something like my totally undebateable "Panties" thread.Simple pastiches, all un-debatewothy.

    You women are my support system!I do not have to argue about OT subjects with you, or prove myself right.

    I have noticed that even in bc-subject threads, people will disagree, with opinionx on almost everything.This is natural, but I never jump into a debate in those threads either."Everyone is entitled to her opinion."

    Maybe it's because I'm old and too "weak".
    j
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2007
    Awwwww, Nicki, how cute.

    Babies and puppies are cute too.

    image
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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited July 2007
    how about this for cute babies, this is my new grandbady, can you tell I just love this little guy!

    image
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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited July 2007
    OMG LuAnn!1What a big, beautiful boy!!How wonderful!Enjoy him-tomorrow he'll be off to college!
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  • Emelee26
    Emelee26 Member Posts: 569
    edited July 2007
    I could eat those cats up, they're so cute..ok not really eat them..but my older cat took in my younger cats in the same way and they often posed like that...LuAnn, your grandson is very cute and will help lower the temperature
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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited July 2007
    What adorable pix! And that baby, it is true, tomorrow he'll wave from his car and never look back.

    WAAAAAAAAh

    Hugs, Shirlann
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  • CaliforniaKate
    CaliforniaKate Member Posts: 258
    edited July 2007

    One thing that can't be debated is that this is one adorable baby and puppy picture. It's just too cute. Kate

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2007

    LuAnn, what a sweetie. Oh, he's sooooo cute. My grandbaby boy is two already. Have a 4 1/2 yo granddaughter too. I don't think I'll get anymore grandbabies and I have three daughters of which only ONE gave me two beautiful grandchildren. Enjoy that baby. Oh, he's sooooo cute.

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  • Toronto
    Toronto Member Posts: 118
    edited July 2007

    Can you tell us what is acceptably on topic other than kittens and babies? Actually I like both of those but kittenwars.com is more entertaining (and has my kitten).

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  • djd
    djd Member Posts: 866
    edited July 2007
    I've been around these boards for a while now, and I've learned that NOTHING good comes from debating the moral/social/political issues.

    I have very strong opinions about all of the OT threads about abortion, presidential candidates, gay rights, discrimination, universal health care etc., but I've learned that no one cares what my opinion is and I'm not going to change anyone else's mind (and don't care to anyway).

    It just makes me uncomfortable to see all of these "land mines" in the Moving Beyond board that have nothing to do with BC and only serve one purpose, which is to divide, rather than unite, us.
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  • marshakb
    marshakb Member Posts: 1,664
    edited July 2007
    Just wanted to respond to the "clicky" wagon thread. As a relatively new member of the wagon circle, it is my understanding that the purpose there IS support and a safe haven from discord. We have all basically agreed that if you don't agree with someone, you either ignore it or respond to that person by PM. You don't air your dirty laundry in the circle. PERIOD

    Some of the circle girls have expressed the same thing you guys are saying here, they don't come here to argue/debate. That is why they rarely post ANYWHERE but in the circle.

    As for the "click", everyone on these boards is welcome to post with us there. I was welcomed with open arms. All you have to do is be a friend to make a friend. It is that way in real life and it is that way on the circle.

    Having said all that, I do post all over the place. Chemo thread, radiation thread, here on the moving beyond.
    Especially here if I am feeling bitchy cause there is always some one here that is bitchier than me. LOL I am just not the type to take someone I don't knows opinion and get mad about it. WHO CARES??? When I come to this section, I put my tongue firmly in my cheek and try to have fun. There is always someone here that can turn the most innocent comment around to something no one said or thought. When it gets so rediculous (sp?), I stop reading it anymore.

    Also, I HATE BEING QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT!!!!!!!!!

    If you are looking for a safe haven, come to the circle, you will be welcome. That it is a "click" is just absurd.

    JMHO....... Marsha
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  • Emelee26
    Emelee26 Member Posts: 569
    edited July 2007
    Kitten wars is addicting..that's great that yours is on there...I want to enter mine
    image
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