"Surviving Survival" - Four Years Since Diagnosis

Hi All,

Funny how I’m coming back to these boards so often – I missed it!

Alice – I really hope everything goes okay. I saw an “eye guy” to update my glasses to match my blindness. Detected Glaucoma. Sent me to a specialist “a high-paid eye guy” and more tests were done. I go back in August to see if the “number” I’m at went up (I think it was up) meaning it probably is Glaucoma. I’m right there with you holding your cyber hand in mine. Hang in there!

Thanks for your I-Pod tip, I’ll give it a try, although, rock and roll is my kind of music and I usually ending up wanting to dance, not sleep! It really, really does cheer me up though.

Althea, please don’t lose hope. I guess our futures are not real pretty at times. I cannot lie to you but I don’t feel much better today than I did a couple of years ago. You are right about the book – it really is helping me, a lot. Maybe we all just need some kind of outlet. Everyone has different needs, so we probably all need different ways to release our fears and frustrations.

Not to sound like a broken record, but thank God we have these boards. You can say whatever you feel because we understand and nobody can judge us.

I picture you kicking the small letter “c” in the street, up against the curb. It looks like a lot of fun. Let’s throw in a “t”, “r”, and any other “bad words” we deal with.

Shirley, you crack me up! Glad you enjoyed the quote – I thought you might. My Pee story isn’t as funny as yours, but it is comical.

I don’t usually wear any “thong-wear”, but bought a “body suit” once (you know the kind that snaps down by the crotch) that was thong style. We were at the beach a few weeks later and I had to pee. Ran into the bathroom, (the toilet lid was in the up position), pulled down my shorts and peed right through the body suit! Good thing the ocean was nearby…

I’m on chapter 9! I can’t believe it. About 38 pages so far and the ideas keep flowing. It’s like I’m on a role and as I told Althea it seems to be great therapy.

Thank all of your for your encouragement on my book. It helps motivate me and keeps me going. I’m already getting excited about the progress.

Hugs,

Jackie

Hi all,

Haven’t been here in the past couple of days. Why? The reason is exactly why I originally posted this message – I’ve been trying to “survive survival”.

I’ve been too tired after work to even read my e-mail. (I spend the company’s $$$ buying whatever it is they need to make whatever it is they sell).

My friggen back is “killing” me – or as my Pain Mgmt. Doc asks every time I see him – “what is my pain level?” Crap, I don’t know - a 7, 8, maybe a 7-2/3rds. How about “it feels like a horse kicked me in my tailbone”! Put a number on that!

My emotional roller coaster is on a downward course and going fast. The good news is I’ll climb back to the top in a day or so.

Haven’t put any effort into the book – again, tired. I can’t think as well when my brain gets used up trying to remember what the heck I just said!

Sorry to be a gloomy Gus – there I go again (guilt!). Just want all of you to know, because you understand and it helps to vent here.

Thanks for listening and not judging.

Hmmm, another chapter? See I feel better already.

Alice – any news?

Hugs to all of you.

Jackie

Alice,

I'm keeping you in my prayers, especially during the waiting period. We're all with you and you are not alone in this.

You make an excellent point about the "what if it is" feeling, to the "thank God it's not" feeling (even though it is still something you have to go through).

Make sure you keep us posted. I don't read all the threads but look forward to hearing from you (and Shirley, my motivator).

Hugs Alice,

Jackie