BC Husbands and Boyfriends Hangout

Steve:

I am aso dealing with the BC diagnosis of my ex-wife. It has been extremely difficult, especially as we have an 11 year-old. She is currently udergoing chemo and having to deal with the loss of hair, along with the other side effects of this treatment regimen. You may want to post in one of the other topic areas as I have noticed this thread is not as active as some of the others. Regardless, the people here are very supportive and I'm sure they will have excellent advice to offer you and your fiancee.

Carrie:
Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Hi Steven, just wanted to offer you some support. I had a lumpectomy two and a half years ago. I was only in the hospital for three days but I had lymph node removal as well. Showering was difficult at first as they left my bandages on for quite a while. You may have to help her wash her hair. I have a shower so I would sit outside with my head back and bf would wash it for me. I managed to do most things but didn't do any housework or cooking for a while. I remember going out for coffees with friends but it is tiring. Obviously I waited till my drains were out.
I agree with Carrie about getting some nice cushions to rest on and making sure the house is clean before she comes home would be nice. She is going to need some tlc. Sorry I can't help you with the chemo as I didn't do it. I was off work for three months and was still tired when I went back but that was without chemo. I have a friend who is one year out and has just gone back to work. Think you'll just have to wait and see how it goes. It's not just the physical side of this disease that is hard to handle but the emotional too. I think the best advice is just to be there for her and listen to her. Wishing you all the best. Keep checking in please.
Hugs
Mags

Thanks to everyone for kinds words of advise. Im preparing to head off to hospital right now. I've printed and bullet pointed all the above tips and advise.

I'll attempt to add my experiences gained over the next couple of months on this great thread

Thanks again and very best wishes

Steve and Sue, Surbiton, Surrey. United Kingdom

Hi guys, it's been a long time. I even managed to get my own password this time. I used to sign in under my wife's password Joanna Romero. So this is Alex.
Nice to see that the thread continues as I found it very helpful while my DW was going through treatment. Thanks to Carrie and Mags!
Cowgirl, I see that you posted a couple of times this year. Very good to hear from you as well!

I am happy to report that my DW is doing great 1 year and 2 months after finishing Chemo. Her energy level is back and life goes on as normal... Tomorrow she goes back for check ups.

Steve, I am hoping your girlfriend is feeling better by now. My wife had a double Mastectomy (one was prophylactic) at age 33 and immediate reconstruction. She went with silicone implants and I must say they look veeery good!
She also went through 8 rounds of Chemo (4 A+CT and 4 Taxol). She started to lose her hair at the 14th day following her first treatment. As far as wigs, she shopped around for one until she found a place that dealt with a lot of cancer patients and some Broadway actors/actress. She felt really assured as she was able to find a wig that was close to her real hair and style. On the day of her second treatment she went back to wig store and she got hair shaven and walked out with the her wig. The best part is that insurance covered 100% of the cost and she was happy with it, or so it seemed...
I can't say that she wore the wig that much. She felt more comfortable with a combination of scarf and baseball hats.
As far as chemo, she found it hard at times but doable. From what I understand, nausea medications are much better now than in the past which makes the experience more tolerable. Also, Neulasta, which is a shot that she took 24 hours following each treatment, made her blood count recover much faster and she ended up feeling better quicker.
After each treatment she would feel a bit sleepy right after it but functional the rest of the day. On day 2 after treatment she would feel fine, but day 3 and 4 would be her worst days and by that I mean tired and joint pain which is a side effect of the neulasta. She also found that she would have problems falling a sleep at night for which she was prescribed Ativan. In her case, she was able to be back to normal on day 5 or 6 after each treatment which were every 2 weeks

During the last 4 treatments which s Taxol, she had more severe joint pain and also pain in her nails. However, she was given medications for that as well. I think she was prescribed Tylenol with codine.
After Chemo was completed she was able to recover most of her energy pretty soon after.

Because of her case and the fact that she opted for Double Mastectomy she didn't have to have radiation.

Well, I think this posting is really long now and hopefully it is some what helpful to you. My wife also found this website very helpful as she was able to read about other women going through Chemo at the same time she was going through it.

Let me if you have any other questions.
Alex

Back to topic. Moderators notified

Long time, no see. My wife's diagnosis was about 1.5 years ago now, and as she comes up to two year, she's thinking about having children. Then I see things like Elizabeth Edwards in the news today facing recurrence and hear my wife's oncologist wants her to wait 5 years instead of 2. Ugh.

Hope all is well for all of our survivors out there, and to the new people, sorry to have you here, but best to you and yours.

Bud - I am so sorry that you are going through this. I read your post on the metastatic thread. I don't know of any support groups that are specific to husbands of BC patients that are under the care of hospice, but most areas do have family support groups for terminally ill family members weather it is for cancer patients or other diseases. Often the community health department of local hospitals help to organize such support groups, you could try contacting them to see what is available or to see if they know of such a support group. The American Cancer Society should be able to locate such a support group for you too. I wish I lived near you so that I could help you find the support that you are so desperately seeking. I'd be happy to try and find resources for you - just send me a PM with your address and I will begin the online search. I didn't know Stacey but the posts that have been entered by the women who do know her brought tears to my eyes. How fortunate you have been to have such an incredible wife, and how equally fortunate she is to have such a loving and devoted husband by her side. I pray that God gives you the strength to continue on this journey with Stacey. We are here for you Bud, just tell us what you need.
Wendy

I'm happy to find this website and this thread in particular. My wife was recently diagnosed with second stage breast cancer (at age 26). She underwent a mastectomy and is now on her second day of chemo. Unfortunately the medicine has made her very sick, but she's got a great spirit, the cancer was found early, and we're all supporting her as best we can. Just have a couple questions:

1: Are there any ways that we can use to ease the side-effects of her chemo? I'm particularly interested in natural remedies (certain foods or drinks, herbs that can help, or teas or fruit juices or whatever) that can help, because we live overseas in China and many of the newer anti-nausea drugs from the West aren't available here.

2: Will the chemo affect her fertility? I'm 24 and she's 26 and we've only been married two years. Of course, my wife's health is the most important thing for me, but we'd still like to have a baby after she recovers. Has anyone on here had a baby after their wife or girlfriend underwent chemo? No one has really given me a straight answer about the chemo/fertility issue. If there are complication then there's always adoption, too, I guess.

Nice to meet you all. Let's hang in there and support the girls we love.

Hi there!!!! I know long time no hear. I pray for this group of supporters everyday!!! To endure this is really difficult, so know you are never far from my prayers.

So many needs here, sorry but my time is so short these days to respond. I pray for the brave men and women that choose to connect here. This thread was a lifesaver to me at one time.

So my update. Boys are doing fab!!! TD is almost a senior, won State in Tractor Mechanics and a $25,000 scholarship. He went to state in Agriculture Mechanics and placed 8th. Hopefully next year he will go to Nationals. He also won 3rd place in chickens at the county show. So he is doing well.

Our show goats were crap but you know W is a breeder now so October we show his goats. We have high hopes!!!

S is growing like a weed, 11 slim and still growing up!!! Hard to dress someone that tall and slim!

We found a chichhauca dog in the middle of a field, brought him home and yes he is ours now. Then we had already requested a rat terrier, so we picked him up Saturday he is 6 weeks. Pancho is 8 months, and yes the rat terrior is named Lefty!

I passed my two year with flying colors. I do remember Elizabeth Edwards being right near my time. All I can say is I am going to celebrete until further notice.

Mom is not doing well but I am handling it. Dad is dying of colon cancer, which is sad but a reality now. Mom is probably fighting colon cancer too but she refuses to endure the test to confirm it. Right now I respect her decision. She is close now to us, and sees the boys and dogs many times a week.

Carrie, mags, shemp, Alex it has been a long time but you are never far from me in spirit. I put my email in my profile so email me anytime. With the goats, dogs and boys, and poor DH it is much easier for me to email.

Oh I am still working part time and homeschooling S. TD is driving---YIKES!!!

Love you all!!!!!

Hi to all! Mags, Cowgirl good to hear from you two.
DW doing fine and fast appraoching her 2nd anniversary of diagnosis. And with that it comes more testing. So far so good... PET Scan at the end of the month ugh...
Cowgirl glad to see that you and your kids are doing so well and that you home schooling is going good too.
Sorry to hear about your parents. Keep it up.
Hope you all have a good Summer and hope to hear from all of you...

Alex

Maaaags!!
Are you ok, are the fires in Greece
near you?? I saw it on BBC and was thinking of you.
Sending you a Hug and thinking about you.

Carrie

Hi Reagan and Marie and Welcome !
If you have read the thread you all ready know I don't have BC , but came here in search of information and support for my sister and myself which I received plenty ! I am sorry that your Wife Marie has BC and sorry you have to be here. We are here for you both. please do let us know how you and Marie are doing.

Hugs,
Carrie

Oh my gosh Cowgirl!! Please call me !!

I  miss you so much. I am so glad I CAME TO CHEK UP ON BOOP IN PRAYERS AND HERE YOU ARE !!

Love,

Carrie

I've been blogging about my wife's bc since she was diagnosed. I didn't start this as a bc blog but I just incorporated thewhole experience.

manersthoughts.blogspot.com 

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreaciate your prayers.

-j