Worried sleepless :(

Hey everyone! New member but long time lurker. I found so much comfort and information when my mother was going through Stage lV BC with mets to brain and spine a few years ago, so I want to thank all of you for your courage and kindness in sharing your experiences, educational information and stories with one another because it helps so many people you may not even be aware of just as much as it helps you through this journey.

I'm going to try my best to keep this short. I appreciate any responses and feedback I may get. I'm super triggered and in a horrible state of anxiety at the moment. As mentioned my mother had BC and sadly she passed 2 and 1/2 years ago. Unfortunately she got her late stage diagnoses 7-9 years AFTER finding a lump and choosing to ignore it. She wasn't sure of the timing and never had a mammogram in her life (diagnosed at 65). She only went to a gyno when she was pregnant with me and my brothers despite having health insurance and being a well educated women the entire time and refused to have the tumor removed. Needless to say her doctors were baffled and frustrated as were my siblings and I. My parents withheld this information from us the entire time until they no longer could. She was forced to have treatment or become paralyzed from the tumor crushing her spine so finally went to the ER because of the pain and was “officially “ diagnosed. Anyways - she refused to get the genetic testing done that would allow me to have it covered by insurance. Claimed her oncologist said she most likely had something benign all those years ago and had she had it removed they would have sent her in her way and told her to check in annually but due to her not checking it out it slowly grew over the years and mutated so that there was no need to test for the gene. This sounded off but it was out of my hands. Personally I think she had guilt and couldn't face the result but claimed we don’t have breast cancer in our family and I tried to explain that we certainly do now. I'm sure I made her sound awful. She was a wonderful women. I just don't agree with the choices she made but acknowledge they were hers to make so I tried to make peace with that. It's a work in progress but I clearly have a level of PTSD from being blindsided. It wasn't my first traumatic loss as well and it was extremely hard to watch her go through a rapid decline and only do the minimum of what the doctors were telling her to do.

I'm 43 and had a breast reduction 15 years ago. I have a lot of visible exterior scaring as well as internal from what I am told. I also have dense lumpy bumpy boobs and have been concerned that I have a hormonal imbalance and starting pre-menopause. I have my annual pap in a few weeks so I plan to discuss this. I just had a 3D mammogram yesterday and I cried through the entire thing. The tech wasn't the friendliest and made a lot comments at the end about the possibility of being called back. I asked why she would say that and that I hadn’t been warned this way in the past and she said possibly they would be comparing the new 3D to the old 2D and because of my breast reduction scaring. I should also mention she did the 2D yesterday also so I feel like that's a lot of radiation at once. I went with it because it is more detailed. She also took an extra 2D on the left side which freaked me out. When I asked about it she was very short with me saying she isn't a doctor but would be happy to let me look at the pictures which I did. That she wanted to pull my boob over further and showed me a white fuzzy area low down on my breast and away from my nipple. This was close to my ribs and chest wall and she felt part was cut off so took a picture. Obviously I have no idea what to look for but I tried to and tried to put everything to memory lol. It seemed consistent to the area my reduction scaring would be and was all black around it for inches. It looks like a lot of google images for scaring. I had white veiny lines in a cluster in the center area towards my nipple.

I'm in so much fear due the vibe in the room and now today out of no where I have shocking sharp pains in my right armpit. It woke me up in my sleep every few hours and has come and gone all day when I move at times. I feel this has happened every few years and it's gone until the next time it happens. Figured it was a nerve thing from my breast reduction but now I'm paranoid it is related to my breast and panicked they will call me in for more testing. I don't know how I feel about exposing myself to radiation again since it can also cause breast cancer according to some. I thought the 3D was a clearer picture so could scaring come up as inconclusive or concerning? Will I be forced to have another mammogram if so or can I opt for MRI and or an ultrasound? I'm scared of making a mistake and causing issues later but I also am worried my scaring may lead to quick judgements. Am Ibeing difficult to think this and letting this weird experience and my past get in my head?

I tried to search for breast reduction or surgery scaring history that was there prior to a diagnosis but I couldn't find anything. Anyone with knowledge of how this could affect future breast cancer would be appreciated.