End of Life Planning and Checklist

Carol, There was a member named Bon who decided to leave the boards and have all her posts purged a few years ago. She had created a list of things she included in her “when I die bag”. I had copied and saved that list before she left, and it is now somewhere way back in the death and dying thread. I am posting Bon’s list here for you. It is probably more than you need, but it will give you ideas about what to think about. Some things will not apply to you, and there are probably addition things that you want to include. (You have mentioned several items in your post. ) I hope this helps

From Bon:

Thought this might be helpful to others...My 'when I die' bag has been hanging in our closet for several years now and my DH knows that it is all he needs to take with him to the funeral home and for handling issues for my death. The bag contains my white cotton gown to be buried in, a cross, photos want in casket with me, and a binder containing the following:

•copy of birth certificate,

•copy of social security card,

•copy of drivers license,

•copy of marriage license,

•copy of DD214 (military service),

•copy of durable power of attorney,

•copy of last will & testament,

•form from funeral home "Vital Information for Death Certificate & Transit Permit" completed except for my age to be filled in.

•form from state/county office of vital registration/records "Request for Copy of Death Certificate" completed for multiple copies and ready to mail with copies of husband & my drivers license and our marriage license stapled to (including Forever stamps on the envelope).

•form from VA.gov "VA Form 40-1330 Application for Standard Government Headstone or Marker" completed except for date of death and date for husband's signature, plus blocks 24 & 26 need to be completed by cemetery then it gets faxed to the Headstone/Marker Office at 1-800-455-7143 and to Scheduling at 1-86-900-6417 along with copy of DD214 for me and husband.

•a copy of the socialsecurity.gov 'Reporting the Death of a Beneficiary" information page where it states to call 1-800-772-1213 immediately to report death so that my SSDI stops and for one-time $255 surviving spouse benefit (the funeral home can do this as a courtesy).

•a copy of husband's union spouse's death benefit.

•My Burial Wishes signed by me (includes no autopsy, no organ donation, no funeral service, no memorial service, no obituary, no embalming, no extras, casket choice, in-casket items.

I have already made an extra copy of the above forms and highlighted what needs to still be filled in on the forms after I die.

I've already put everything and all bills in husband's name and so in addition to the above he will only need to contact automobile insurance, motor vehicle office, and bank. We don't owe anything now.

I've already given away all my possessions except my gold band of wedding ring and it will be on my finger, my clothes & shoes will be donated to Goodwill, and everything in my bathroom drawers shower will be trashed.

Could it be any easier for DH? ha!

I've said all along God really knows me, He knows how organized I am and how important it would be to me to make this as pain-free for DH as possible and for that am truly grateful.

ADDING MORE TO THE BAG / ABOVE LIST (from others' input, along with some more ideas that have come to mind that could be helpful):

•List of all banking/etc account numbers and passwords.

•Letters ready for all 3 credit bureaus to be mailed after my death so that my credit files are closed down - preventing identity theft. Letters are written and envelopes addressed and stamped but not sealed - have a post it note on each to add a photo copy of death certificate to each envelope before sealing.

•What you wish to happen to your pets. A relative or friend that is willing to take on your pet and have all of the pets papers (immunizations etc) and your notes on pets habits/likes/dislikes together in an envelope with contact information for the relative/friend.

•If having a funeral, photos of yourself with family & friends you want displayed at the funeral. Perhaps also have them scanned to a CD for online memorials. You can also make it a slide-show to your favorite music.

•If having funeral, list of your favorite music and burn a CD of those.

•If having funeral, a photo of yourself that you like the best for the funeral parlor to do your makeup and hair the way you like it.

•If having funeral, a 'how you want to be remembered' statement or a poem, etc you'd like read at your funeral.

•If choosing cremation, state where and when (you can pick a special day & time) that you would your ashes scattered. Or you can have your urn of ashes buried if you like.

•If choosing cremation, have a special urn made (penny4cats did this and will share websites about it), or you could make it yourself at a pottery place. If plan to bury the ashes, find a wooden box that fits the urn for this purpose.

•Any special friends or medical team members you want to thank, get some blank inside cards and write a note to them and have the addressed and place a forever stamp on them (so you don't have to worry about postage changes).

•If you have jewelry you want to go to certain people, give it to them now or on a special day in the near future, and tell them about the piece (who gave it to you, when, where, what it's meant to you), this is the same with anything really, give it now so that the recipient will remember that "you" gave it to them rather than you 'left' it to them.

•Don't forget your recipes - pass them on...maybe even make special recipe cards with "from the kitchen of (your name)" so that they will carry on forever.

Whatever you add to the bag, don't forget to add it to the list for your DH/loved one-in-charge (i.e., mail cards, mail letters to credit bureaus, take CD of music & photos to funeral home, etc).

****Also reposting these added items....

Someone may have already mentioned this, but just thought of it when updating a few addresses. Add this to you When I Die Bag:

•Complete list of everyone you want contacted when your gone, with their name and phone number and address. We often have friends that our family and other friends have never met. After passing, notification phone calls are made by family members or friends and having the address will help the family with thank you cards if needed. Also, if someone on your list has a name that is pronounced different then it sounds, write a note in parenthesis beside their name how to say it; i.e. Aja Jones (pronounced Asia).

•Complete email addresses for notification of your death (if you have friends that you have only ever communicated by email and never met). Put these into a word document so they can be copied & pasted into a email To line. (Or put on a USB jump drive for your bag).

•If you're going to have a USB jump drive, make an index for what items are on it and what the items are for. Print the index and place the index & the jump drive in a zip lock bag or if you do a notebook like I did, you can use a 3-ring binder pencil holder.

•You can scan in and save documents in pdf format and then save those to the jump drive, just in case anything gets misplaced there will be a electronic copy of it. Recommend using a separate jump drive for the photos and or music you want at your funeral, just so your private documents don't accidentally land on the memorial slide-show.

•Someone posted before that sending out thank you cards after funeral was too hard or never got around to it. In my small home town paper, I've seen a small business card size ad written by families to thank everyone for their prayers, flowers, cards, kindness, etc.

Your family history with all that you know...(such as maternal aunt died age 39 with breast cancer spread to lungs, paternal aunt died age 44 with uterine cancer, paternal grandmotherdied 93 after complication from fractured hip/osteoperosis and she had diabetes and HBP....)

Sunshine - thank you for starting this thread / reviving this topic, and 50s for digging out that list and the additions. I had been thinking recently I should start noting passwords down as some have been updated, along with banking details etc. There is a lot more here than I had considered, however, so I think I may print it out and put it somewhere discreet and work through it. Haven't quite braced myself for the will process yet, but I want to get "that icky stuff" done in the next six months so I can put it aside and forget it.