What helps you through....

Thank you Karen for starting this thread. I don't have much to add. You are correct many different things may help depending on the day. Today, you helped. 🙂

beautiful poem, thank you for sharing!

I find that keeping busy with productive work and creative pursuits keep me on an even keel

I “act as if” and “fake it tilI I make it” and just focus on what’s right in front of me

Seems to work, mostly

Kar, I'm not an M & M's kinda gal but came across "coffee nut" M & M's while putting in my Walmart order earlier this week, and was literally munching on them when I read your post!

A couple months ago, I took a free, online course offered by Yale University called "The Science of Well-Being". It's a subject I've always been interested in and the class was insightful. One of the numerous things I learned was you can boost well-being by taking time to savor the good things, big and small, and that surely includes delicious little treats!

Living with mbc for 9+ years has taught me many coping mechanisms. I especially love to read true stories of people who deal with difficult circumstances or have overcome tremendous odds. While that includes ones dealing with bc, other forms of cancer or illness, such as "The Unwinding of a Miracle" I also read accounts of people who've been incarcerated, or swindled out of life savings; have lost children to violence at the hand of someone they know or survived a plane crash, and more. It shows me the human spirit is tremendously resilient, and I admire and draw inspiration from that. In addition, I also love reading autobiographies of famous athletes. They reach the pinnacle of success through not just talent but drive, focus, determination and often overcoming failure and hardships. I'm not a tennis buff by any means, but I tennis greats Andre Aggassi and Maria Sharipova each wrote books that I totally loved.

Tinkerbell - that is my approach as well, only I don't call it denial, I call it 'living in the now' . Usually I can fool myself long enough until I get home and think about how lovely the evening/activity was, and then wish I wasn't sick. But that thought is fleeting now more than it was before, so I think I am getting better at it. I mean, why borrow trouble from the future?

I've also rediscovered my love of learning and new things - lately I've been watching a lot of older Oscar-winning performances, and reading books I wouldn't have considered before, including Chuck Yeager's autobiography. In another life I would have been an engineer I suspect, but now I find myself looking into a quick online course on the basics of aerodynamics and rocket propulsion. Or just googling concepts when reading about space flight. Its long been a personal interest but so far out of my normal day to day work that its rather fulfilling.

What helps me most is to have something to focus on that is not my cancer and to have purpose in something I am doing. I treat my cancer aggressively, research incessantly but spend a lot of time living a double life in denial. I have continued to work and focus on that makes me forget many times throughout the day about the bigger picture. I am also able to focus on accomplishments, challenges and continuing down my career path which makes me feel “normal”.

The other way that is a sure fire to get me out of the dumps, at least temporarily, is helping others with BC. For some reason, focusing on supporting others energizes me and gives me purpose.

Thanks for the validation of those who enter into my land of denial . Despite it's temporary existence, the land of denial is my place I call home. This is where I feel free of cancer, it's my identity, not MBC. The longer I keep this persona, my world continues as "is" , and this is the place I want to be....