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RNstrong
RNstrong Member Posts: 126
edited July 2020 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hello Everyone. The last time I was probably in this forum was around 2017. I felt a lump back then. It turned out to be a cyst but the mammo picked up a focal asymmetry on my right breast which was not seen on the MRI. But the MRI saw 2 non-enhancing masses on my right breast which also turned out to be benign. On my last mammo Feb of 2017 it says this: The asymmetry in the right upper outer quadrant is most consistent with dense breast tissue with fibrocystic changes and considered benign, given interval stability and no suspicious findings on prior MRI. I have been doing self-breast exam every month after my period and have not felt any lumps. Yesterday after shower, I did my self-exam and my right upper outer breast feels lumpy but my breasts always feel like that however when I pressed more with my fingers, I can feel a smooth very small lump (I am not even sure if it is a lump or a breast tissue) that is like attached to my chest wall. It is not round, it also doesnt feel hard or painful. And I only feel it when I am standing with my arm up behind my head but when I lay down or change to other positions I couldnt feel it. My husband tried to do breast exam on me and he says the lumpiness on the right side is the same with the other side. I am just very anxious right now and dont want to go through the same things I went through in 2016 and 2017. I have been more anxious with everything ever since. My mom died of BC at 39. My maternal grandmother and paternal aunt died of BC too. Now breasts are painful because I keep poking them.

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  • Peregrinelady
    Peregrinelady Member Posts: 1,019
    edited July 2020
    The fact that it doesn’t feel hard is a good sign, I believe. Can I ask why you have not had a mammogram since 2017?
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  • RNstrong
    RNstrong Member Posts: 126
    edited July 2020

    It is because of my anxiety. And I had numerous medical issues after that. Im planning to have a mammogram next month.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited July 2020

    RN - Quit poking at your breasts. Call your doc and get some anti-anxiety meds. Schedule your mammo!!!

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  • Sunshine99
    Sunshine99 Member Posts: 1,680
    edited July 2020

    Hey RN, just wanted to wish you the best with your (soon to be scheduled) mammogram. I know how worrisome those pesky lumps can be.

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  • RNstrong
    RNstrong Member Posts: 126
    edited July 2020

    Thanks for all your replies. Ok I am going to stop poking my breasts and I will also stop googling. My birthday is in a few days. I will schedule my mammo after my bday. By the way, I know probably this has been discussed in this forum a lot of times but how do you guys deal with anxiety? My anxiety is over the top. Im a hypochondriac. I dont like going to doctors for fear of being diagnosed with a major illness. Yeah I know it is stupid but I dont know. I need to find strength. Any suggestions

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  • GiGiL
    GiGiL Member Posts: 928
    edited July 2020

    RN hopefully your mammogram will come out with no new problems. Just do it as soon as you can. It will either ease your mind, or you will find a problem at a very early stage and be able to deal with it quickly and definitely. Anxiety is such a tough thing. I have suffered with it my whole life. The best things I have found are guided imagery meditation (look for Belleruth Naparstek on YouTube). If you practice with that, it will help more and more. I also stay away from sugar, alcohol and caffeine. Tapping is good too - look that up by a guy named Ortner. Dr. Andrew Weil has a breathing technique that helps also. With practice, it all helps. Best wishes. GiGi

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  • alto
    alto Member Posts: 233
    edited July 2020

    RNstrong, there are a lot of books, guides, audiobooks that can help you deal with anxiety.

    Full Catastrophe Living (by Jon Kabat-Zinn) is a good one for getting through health crises in general. He has another book called Wherever You Go There You Are that is a great walk through mindfulness.

    There are Anxiety Workbooks on Amazon - maybe even for loan from your library. CBT and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) are popular therapies. I like ACT-oriented books (like Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life) - you learn how to keep moving even if you are afraid. I've seen some with health worry sections.

    I found lists of cognitive distortions helpful. There's a Wikipedia one that has many of them: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion

    It helped me realize I was always imagining the worst-case scenario. I started keeping a worry journal, where you write out what you're worried about, and go back and write up what actually happened. I began to see the things I was so worried about actually often turned out well. And I also did more work learning to trust myself - to trust that I could handle what life threw at me, or ask for help.

    When you are dealing with cancer, therapy is a great option. Cancer is stressful! An outside ear, who can help you find that middle ground between worry and avoidance, could be really helpful.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited July 2020

    RN - don't be afraid to get an anti-anxiety prescription short term. Everything suggested above is great. So is Yoga. But in the short term, if you're wound up too tight to see straight let alone start one of these programs, do talk to you doc about an Rx.

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  • quinnie
    quinnie Member Posts: 221
    edited July 2020

    RN; I understand anxiety. My son has anxiety and depression for the last 15 years, One can say, Relax!! Not so easy. Nothing wrong with anti anxiety meds for a short term. Yoga works for me. I am the opposite of you. i an not a hypochrondiac which can get you into more trouble since I let things go longer than they should. But that being said, please find some anti anxiety techniques that work for you.Good luck and let us know how things turn up.

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