Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

well i changed my avatar to me with a bandanna which I use to walk around the house in and now I will get brave here I am bald . Shaved all the stubble off my head this weekend .

So now I am going to wait ..... and wait for my hair to come back like this ....



or longer as i cut it short for chemo ....
If I put makeup on I look better but my eyelahses are coming out Waaaaaaaaa .
No wig yet .... maybe soon when the snow is gone .
The commercials I HATE on TV are the ones that are for hair removal YUCK .
Anyones hubby bald or balding so you have a partner in crime ? I asked mine to shave his head ... Right , there was no way as he is a more a grizzly adams type , outdoorsy and way too attached to his beard never mind his hair

Hey Shorti...I think you look pretty darn sharp bald. Emphasize those eyes and great jaw, add a scarf and earrings and you'll never need hair again!!!! (Maybe a hairdo that doesn't cover your forehead). Blue is Definitely You.

Dar, what does Biotin do? I'm taking Centrum Silver...any difference?

Biotin is a B vitamin. It's discussed on one of the threads as helping for thinning hair while on Tamoxifen - hey it can't hurt! My multi has biotin as well, but I'm taking an extra 250 mcg.

Shorti, the commando look becomes you! Dar, LOL, when I was in Wal-Mart last week I realized there were two whole aisles of things for hair that I now have no need for. However, I've become intensely interested in the hat and scarf aisle, and my collection is growing. My sis who used to work for a motorcyle co. gave me a couple of do-rags. They are not flattering alone but work great under cotton, brimmed hats for a little extra coverage. Mizsissy, something I am taking that is supposed to stimulate hair return is nettle leaf tea. It's also a good immune stimulant. There is a book I have called Breast Health the Wise Woman Way. It is outdated medically and I think has some extreme views about conventional treatment but it also has recommendation on supplements to support your immune system and organs during the different kinds of chemo. I picked some of what seemed like the safest things and have been using them with my onc's blessing. Author Susun S. Weed (how perfect is that name?) Again, key is informing your team. There may be something to the nettles because my brows and lashes haven't even thinned after 4 AC and I'm just starting to get some new growth on the back of my head. (I hope the rest of it gets new growth too or I'll end up with a comb-over mullet). Another book I'd recommend for those with hubs or partners is "Breast Cancer Husband" by Marc Silver, one who has been there. It covers everything from sex during chemo to not expecting your wife to look like the glam models in the TLC catalog when she puts her first turban on. My guy is not a reader but he is reading this one and it has helped him a lot. Hey yesterday I saw my first sandhill cranes of the season, a pair of them winging over a nearby field. Now it's officially spring! - Skye

No, it's not the same thing. The discussion I referred to is under "thinning hair" in "hormone therapy". But if mine doesn't come back full, I'll be looking at the Rogaine! How does it work?

Hi Mizsissy,

I haven't been able to post for a while. You can add this to your list. My birthday was March 1st. I spent it at chemo doing my 3rd taxol and herceptin. I had an allergic reaction to the taxol so now I am on Braxane (a different brand of Taxane) and herceptin. I will finish chemo on May 3rd and have surgery after that. At least that is the game plan.

I did something really stupid yesterday. I helped my husband and teenage boys in the yard. It seems like I get more work out of them if Im out there. I have really paid for it to day with lower back pain and a killer headache.

So much for trying to do something normal.
Vicky

On Tuesday the 13th it will be 4 months since my mastectomy. 4 months of cure and protect treatments. And it was a two month process before that from the time I first saw something unusual on my breast in the mirror reflection, felt the lump three weeks later and finally got a diagnosis and plan.

This has been going on for 6 months. I'm a little stunned by the turning of the calendar pages.

I've decided this must be the reason I'm weary. Not tired - weary.

God bless my family and friends who've loved me through this.

I hope they have the strength to carry me through the last three treatments, I'm feeling the need to lean on them more.

Hello all,

Mizsissy, I will be finished FEC-T on May 10th, then Herceptin for a year. No rads.
Finished the FEC half of the chemo this past Thursday, had a quiet weekend of nausea and fatigue - but better today than yesterday.
Hope all the rest of you ladies are feeling well, good luck to those who have treatment this week.
Iowacindy, I know how you feel about the "stunned" feeling - I went in for a breast reduction on Oct. 16, 2006, and came out with breast cancer - talk about utter shock...
Great to have the support of all of you.
I should have known why pink has always been my favourite colour.
best regards,
Caya in Canada (Thornhill, just north of Toronto)

good morning ladies .
I am off for my first taxotere treatment this am got my zophran and dosetaxil down . My neighbour always drives me to the center and my oldest teenage daughter is coming to keep me company . She likes one of my chemo nurses (they both like heavy metal music ?) too loud for me .
IowaCindy hold on there I too found out about my BC on Oct my colon cancer in Nov and it has been a long 6 months i still have 3 treatments and then 33 rads . The end of June beginning of July will be my actual finish point . Do pamper yourself and keep positve thoughts they lead to positve emotions . I find it hardest in the midst of my nausea and chemo fog . But then I go to my special place in my head , my "log cabin" the blog journal I created . I also have a mp3 player that i have relaxing ocean and nature music on to relax me .
We are all here each day is differrent , a few bad ,a few good , a few great .
Take is easy relax and heal , spring is coming.
Damn friggin ride we are one eh (Canadian eh..... )
We will get there I know

Good Morning Ladies!

Good luck to Robertin, Shorti with your infusions. RitaJean...I don't now HOW you remember people's schedules so I'm taking it from you. Shorti, I'll be interested in knowing how you react to taxotere after your other chemo.

Nandy, I do hope things go better this time!!!!! IowaCindy, hang in there..there is life after chemo!!!

Amera, I'm jealous of you having parents in Maine...that article looks interesting and I'll take a look at it when I'm not so rushed.

I am going to have to get a pencil and paper and get all the updates and do them all at once. Some of the updates I did last time didn't *stick* --- I'll wait for more updates before I do this later today.

***********************

FINALLY...I would really like to get serious about getting myself and my body back together starting NOW.

First thing I want to do is lose ten pounds; also, I need to work on getting my hair back. I was thinking of starting a *POST CHEMO SPA THREAD* for women who want to get back in shape. What I had was something real down-to-business, where we could track our vital statistics. I am going to set up a chart of everyone's pre and post chemo weight, goals, and current progress. I can put this on my website...and make it a link from the forum. This is not be be "disloyal" to this group here...but to have a thread that is very focused on weight loss, exercise, skin, hair, etc...we'll still do our serious chatting over here. Hey those of you who ALREADY LOST WEIGHT, you're welcome too. Maybe you can give the rest of us some tips!??

SO I'm recruiting!!! Please let me know if you are interested in this idea and I'll start working on a chart and getting the thread going.

xxxooo Mizissy

Amera, that is such an interesting article!

I myself have found metaphor to be very helpful to me in my healing process. When I was diagnosed I was spiritually broken, and I felt defeated and hopeless. I could not, and would not, continue to languish in this deep hole of despair...it was unhealthy, and in many ways unrealistic. Although my cancer had the potential to take my life, as a result of my actions, it was not going to suceed. In order to come to terms with what had happened to me, I came to conceptualize the process as a death/rebirth cycle. I viewed it as a transformation, during which I would change from one state to another. I started as a broken person, with a disease, and through sacrifice (my breast, my hair, my strenght) I would become a new, reborn version of myself. I would in essence "die" as a person with cancer and be "reborn" as a survivor...and in fact re-enter my life the second time in much the same way as I did the FIRST time...bald and weak. This optimistic (to me) metaphor helped me approach my "trial" serenely and (at least relatively) without fear. In fact, it is a Jewish custom to take a new name in times of illness. Traditionally, this is done to "fool the angel of death". I rather like the custom, but I am adapting it to fit my metaphor, and am planning to take a name at the conclusion of my treatment as a marker to the end of the treatment and to commemorate my rebirth. I am thinking I will have a (private) ceremony of some kind, but have not decided on the form it will take.

I have not used the battle metaphors in the same way that I have used the rebirth metaphors. I find that I use them in everyday speech, because that is the language that our society associates with cancer. In my personal conceptualization, and in my own healing process however, I do not use them. I have to admit that I never thought it through the way that Darien and Mayer do...but I agree that the implication of a battle metaphor is that if you succumb, or decide to stop treatment for whatever reason (and this is sometimes justified!) that you are a coward or a failure. This is definately unacceptable. Those that have fallen to breast cancer are no different than we are....just perhaps less fortunate, or suffering from more aggressive disease. They are not, and should not be implied to be "lesser" or losers.

On the other hand, there is an element of "fight" inherent in this experience that is undeniable, and I guess this is what makes the use of the battle metaphor so appealing. You take the chemo, and then you have to fight your way through your day...against mouth sores, against fatigue, bone pain or whatever. I went to a gymnastics meet this weekend, and I had to fight my (uncooperative) legs to get to my seat, and then I had to fight gravity each time I had to get up. But is this a "battle against cancer" or is this just a battle to ovecome the side-effects of the treatment?

Ah well...such is my ramble. Anyone else use metaphor to help come to terms with this?

Interesting article that made me think where do I stand in the mist of this disease? All I feel most of the time is weak and defeated, consumed with an incredible amount of guilt everytime I need help. Now I am scared that these feelings are going to let the disease take me over. I don't know how to feel strong and fight when I feel so sick and weak from the treatments that all I want to do is sleep because in my dreams I'm normal, happy and living. Yes, I have spent most of my life on some anti-depressant and on Lexapro now. And of course I wonder am I more depressed? What do I do? I mention it and it just gets shrugged away. I want to let out the fight in me I just can't find it!

Nancy, please be gentle with yourself. Chemo is hard (yes, doable, but hard) and it's OK to feel weak and tired! Sleep is a healer too. Hugs to you.

Oh Nancy,

You have already unleashed the fight. You did that when you faced your diagnosis and started the treatment. You're fighting right now...and never think that you're not!!!! The chemo affects all of us differently and I am so sorry that you're having such a hard time. You will be O.K. The Ohio weather doesn't help either. Now the sun is starting to shine again and the temps are getting warmer and we mid-western gals will get a little more bounce to our steps.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Nancy. This is NOT an easy trip and no two people react in the same way. Sleeping and dreaming are not bad. They help the body mend. Hang in there. Things will get better.

Rita

Dar1, thanks for remembering me in your good luck wishes this morning. It must have worked because I had no adverse reaction to the Taxol. Of course, I was sound asleep for almost four hours from the 500mg Benadryl, waking up every hour to pee and then conking right back out. Here I had my laptop and thought I'd get all this work done. Not! I was glad my neighbor had come to fetch me, I was still way too groggy to drive home. So far I feel ok other than that. However, I have to tell you ladies that my onc was NOT happy when I proudly told him I did the 40-minute walk/kickbox tape. He said it could mess up my potassium levels and to only do 10-15 minutes at a time. He was fine with walking the mile and a quarter. And he is both a kind and very competent oncologist; my nursing team is also wonderful. Mizsissy I'm so sorry you got such a callous team but there are good ones out there. Mine make up for the crummy, crowded infusion room. And I was actually surrounded by some people I could talk to today but when the Benadryl hit I just went out like an old light bulb. At least I sure am rested. Rebecca and everyone on the fight topic, here's my take. I don't see it so much as an aggressive fight as a take charge, be proactive, long-range process. It's one reason I researched the herbal supplements; they may not be for everyone but they were one thing I could do that I knew the doctors would not bother with, and that I know from having fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue can really be helpful (again, only ones approved by the doctor) and thus it feels like something that gives me back a little power. Writing a funny blog on myspace is another thing, meditating, and trying to live in a state of grace where I ultimately surrender my disease to God rather than surrending to the disease are other proactive ways I cope. I'm sure everyone does this in some unique way. And if family or friends offer to help, I accept. My friend Janet who has had bladder cancer for ten years told me right away that if someone wants to do something for you, you should let them. And although it's contrary to my nature, I try to remember that. One of my wonderful neighbors brought me home from the Taxol treatment today, and another is bringing me a frittata she made for supper. I'll find ways to repay them. But right now I'm just grateful.One other thing...the broken butterfly image hit home. The other night I dreamed there was a broken hummingbird (broken was the exact word used) and the police asked me how to deal with it. I said it had to be set free. I realized the hummingbird symbolized myself of course. Thanks everyone for the discussion on these deeper aspects of our treatment. And oh yeah, the weight loss...I'll be danged if I'm buying bigger jeans. I gained a half pound this week so I'm cutting down on those scones! - Skye