Not sure what to do with myself post surgery

sending you love. i know the days after surgery were the hardest for me. i was a shell of myself, dreading the weeks and months to follow after i received my final pathology. crying daily. i would love to say it gets better, but i can't. you only get stronger...

ok I’m a lot older than you. Was 65 at original dx. Now stage 4. I still have a lot of life left in me. So you do what you have to do now. I had 7 years NED. Then it came back. There is a lot of treatment options for me, and more in development.

The drain will be out soon. I had 4 with bmx. Oh yeah, they were a PITA.

Check at your txcenter, see if there is a nurse navigator who can direct you to some talk therapy. May help. Or just dump your fears here, or on her.

And maybe check into an attorney for some help making sure your DD is taken care of.

I’m sorry you’re so scared. Have you had any scans to check for spread? If not, maybe that would help ease your fears a little.

I was also diagnosed with young kids (5 and almost 2 at diagnosis). They are now 10 & 7. I understand that fear that you won’t be around for them, it’s horrible and still is at times. Unfortunately it’s something that you just have to learn to live with. It sucks, but that’s your (and my) reality. I recommend that you do all you can now (treatment wise), live a healthy & fun life with your daughter and hope (and expect) for the best. Don’t waste time second guessing your prior treatment choices - I think most of us have things we would have changed if we could do it again (I know I would have). It may not feel like it now but you’ll feel like yourself again and be happy again. Take care

How are you doing? I could have wrote something similar to what you wrote. It's very scary. I'm going to make some phone calls today to see if I can find a support group around here.

You need to call your doc for MILD exercises. For now - don't life your arms above shoulder height. One of the first exercises i was given was "wall walk". Walk your fingers up the wall & try to reach shoulder height. But each doc is different, so do push your for what they recommend. Of course you'll get your ROM back - just very gradually.

And like everyone says, it will get better.

From a parent's perspective, yes it is so hard. I had 3 outpatient surgeries that kept me incapacitated for 3 days which is really hard when you have a baby/toddler that needs holding and shes heavier than the weight limit I was allowed. I had 2 major surgeries which took months to really recover from. I just realized that googling helped ease some of my uncertainty but created more anxiety but there aren't many cases that are actually like my own so I grew frustrated at the lack of information. Also drs always say "usually people respond/recover this way" and I am always the outlier.

After my last surgery, I could not shower. I didnt care to do it and my body hated doing it. I was also very emotional and sensitive for 5 weeks after. It became my goal to shower more (every other day or if I'm seeing people). I love to cook/bake and I started to 6 weeks after.

A month is a long time to wait to "feel better" but I cant say I felt like I did before any of my surgeries. Honestly, I'm starting to forget what I felt like before and have gradually accepted the new lifestyle I have now. I have memories of what my life was before which makes me sad but when you focus on this day, this moment, I feel fairly content.

Its been over a year since my bilateral mastectomy. Last year, I could not get my hands over my head without shaking or hurting. This year, my 1 arm is fine but the side that had cancer is still struggling but I dont feel pain. My drs didnt tell me to stretch/exercise my arms so maybe I wasnt active enough.

This sounds so similar to my experience. There is a lot of physical shock to your body, but also a lot to process. It didn't seem like I would ever get more independence. I was frustrated because not being able to do things I used to be able to normally seemed to drag on. I have little kids and I felt like I wasn't being a good mom to them. I just felt.. off. Time definitely helped though and I am starting to see brighter days now and ROM is returning. It's just a LOT to experience physically and emotionally all at once and I am sure that hormone fluctuations don't help that, etc. Hang in there. Easier said than done, I realize! One foot in front of the other.

It's It's temporary and it will eventually be back. I had BMX after chemo. Right after surgery I had to hold my chest area feeling something is dropping when I walked. But later it felt better. I was given a list to exercise, exercises after breast surgery like rotating arms, raising hands etc. You can check online for video. It really helped me to get back ROM. After around 6 weeks, I had physical therapy. It really helped me. I still doing therapies as it helped me. Please be patient and it is going to be ok soon.

Hugs.