tips post-mastectomy? (daughter/caregiver question)

I think the biggest thing is she really won't be able to use her arms the first few days. You'll need to help her a lot, and she'll need to let you. Otherwise, she could hurt herself - you don't know you've overdone it until it's too late. :P

I could not open doors (and one shouldn't after surgery) - not a car door or a refrigerator door - I couldn't lift milk or open a soup can or a bag of chips. I could not cut my own food at dinner. So, she will need a lot of help the first few days to a week. She won't be cooking or washing any dishes or doing any laundry (can't handwash bras, either, when you can't squeeze the water out). And she will probably still need help with things like dishes, cooking, cleaning up, or lifting things (even light things) for two weeks.

Those button-up tops and loose fitting pants are a necessity the first week +, as she won't be able to lift her arms, and after surgery you just don't have arm strength to pull on something like snug jeans - only sweatpants and things like that.

That was the biggest surprise to me after surgery - the arm weakness, and limited range of motion. It's temporary, but scary because you're not sure if it's the new normal - but it's just your body recovering from the surgery. There's a lot of weird sensations post-surgery that, in my experience, went away after a few weeks. Just take it a week at a time, first week is being zonked out, getting the bowels back on track and healing, second week is moving around a little more and hopefully getting the drains out and having all manner of aches and zings, third week was tightness and odd sensations and physical therapy, and at some point a little after that you start to feel more normal.

Some people say having a wedge pillow or a recliner chair they can set at a comfortable incline helped them feel more comfortable after surgery. I didn't use too many of the gadgets - just the drain t-shirt (snaps up the front, two pockets inside to hold the drains) - I had one of those, and liked it.

Other than that, make sure you have a giant bottle of tylenol, manage her medications/doses for her (she'll be too out of it to remember what she has taken, and it can be complicated - my brain was so tired the first few days after surgery), bring her water and food in lightweight containers, don't expect her to be able to twist to get up or drink water - you may need to help her here, prepare her meals for her and do her laundry. She just needs to be sitting around, sleeping, reading, watching movies, doing word search or crosswords or reading - stuff like that.

Oh yeah, there's a point around day 3-4 when she may feel very down/depressed, and this feeling might last a few days. I experienced this with all my surgeries - maybe it's the drugs. And there's moments of tears sprinkled in the first few weeks to a couple of months, too. It's a jarring process. But you get through it and things get much better.