The Beast & Me: Round Two

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited March 2007
    NS,
    It's too bad that you won't be able to get the immediate implants that you'd hoped for.

    Expanders are fine, really. I didn't have any problems with them. A bit of discomfort after the fills, but no pain. The main problem with the process is that it takes so long. And in truth, I felt a bit like I was the subject in a scientific experiment, especially when the PS was coming at me with those huge needles they use for the fills. Scary looking, but the good thing is that you don't feel a thing. At least, I didn't.

    I hope that you are able to relax a bit and do some things for yourself this weekend. Highlighting your hair is a good start, and I understand completely why you did it! I'll be thinking lots of good thoughts for you on Tuesday!
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  • danahollis
    danahollis Member Posts: 161
    edited March 2007
    Hi G. Just thinking of you... so glad you have such wonderful doctors to take care of you.

    You really are a strong woman and you have such great spirit. I really admire that!

    Please try to keep us posted as we'll be worried sick not hearing from you!

    MANY HUGS!!!
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  • Raye99
    Raye99 Member Posts: 1,350
    edited March 2007
    G,

    Best of luck on Tuesday - you will do wonderfully!! You are such a strong, courageous person with a great attitude and sense of humor - you give me so much inspiration. I love reading your posts.

    I don't think having your hair highlighted is crazy at all! When diagnosed, I had my long hair cut short and highlighted (something I had never done before) and it cost a ton, but I thought, what the heck?

    Thinking of you.
    Raye
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited March 2007

    {{{NS}}} Thinking of You, and praying Always for you Sweet Sister. May God Bless You, I really Love You NS, like so many other sisters. Puppy

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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited March 2007
    NS - I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday and will keep you in my prayers. God blessings.
    Love and hugs,
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited March 2007
    I think I have heard everything today! I had one woman tell me she had NO pain at all with her surgery and another told me that she was in the hospital for over a week and was on pain killers for two months....

    ALL the same surgery!

    I did get good news too- they will put me under before the SNB injection. I am VERY happy about that because THAT I know hurts!!

    THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!!

    Love,
    g
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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited March 2007
    G~ It's a strange, strange world. So many people can have the same surgery and have totally different experiences.

    We try and gather enough information on what happens to other people so that we can divine what is going to happen to us. The problem is that we are all different.

    it is kind of like when I was pregnant and I asked every woman I could find what her birth experience was like...I heard everything under the sun...from people who thought it was a wonderful, enlightening, other-worldly experience to a woman who compared it to shitting a bowling ball that had been dipped in gas and lit on fire...I kid you not, a woman actually told me that! I will never forget it.

    No matter how many people you ask, you will still have a smidgen of the unknown when you go in yourself. I don't think there is any way around it. Try not to let it make you crazy (yeah, like I can ever follow my own advice). I know it is one of the hardest things in the world to do, but at some point you have to go on faith.

    I'm sending you lots of hugs.

    You CAN do this.

    We will all be here holding your hand.
    Deb C
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  • slanderson
    slanderson Member Posts: 152
    edited March 2007
    NS,

    Yes, I remember the SNB injection. Because of where my tumor was they had to inject me in my NIPPLE!!! Four times. By the 3rd one, I was in tears and the doc who did it just kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

    Shannon
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  • Kasey
    Kasey Member Posts: 695
    edited March 2007
    Good luck on Tuesday. I'm glad to hear that your cancer is er, pr positive this time, that gives you more choices with the treatment plan. I have had breast cancer on both sides, six years apart and mine had the exact same receptors, triple negative.
    Hugs,
    Kasey
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  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited March 2007
    Oh..my post just went poof (and it was a good one!).

    G...just wanted to say that you are a real inspiration. With your hair done, you are going in there strong and determined, with your head help up high and your eyes wide opened. The beast is probably trembling in his boots!!

    I wish you all the best. Am here and thinking of you..
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited March 2007
    Thanks Girls,

    I thought I would share something with you that happened today.
    I saw an old friend and told her about myself. She told me that if I had been doing yoga the cancer never would have come back! She said I was out of balance and that let the cancer grow.
    So I told her I had my immune system's balance tested (as if there is such a thing- but I had every other test!) and that the results were that I was in balance!

    she said that she didn't know WHERE I could have gotten it from then!

    If only it was THAT EASY! Hell's bells I ate 50 pounds of flax seeds and it came back! LOL!

    I have to say that the fewer people I know around here that know about this the better I feel. I hated being under the microscope last time... I was no longer Gina, I was the Designated Cancer Patient.

    I don't want that again!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    LOL, G. Good answer to your "old" friend. Some people say and THINK the stupidest things. Not one of us who have boobs are immune from this disgusting disease.

    At least you're gonna look beautiful. I had chemo first so when I had my mast I had a bald head and was wearing one of those lovely green surgical caps that you can see through. Of course NO MAKEUP! When my surgeon came in he asked how I felt. I told him I didn't feel too attractive being bald and having no makeup. He replied that at least I'd get my hair back and he wouldn't (he was bald).

    I'm wishing you the easiest surgery and recovery. You'll also be in my thoughts and prayers.
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited March 2007
    Ha ha! My doc says that to me too- When I say I don't want to lose my hair he says DON'T insult me! I have no hair!!

    Things are starting to catch up to me. It is getting harder to be in Denial when the surgery is day after tomorrow!

    I am finding it really hard accepting help from people. My first time with cancer I had no help at all. But now I live in a neighborhood with neighbors I am friends with and they all want to help- the ones who know, I didn't tell everyone.

    People have been just so incredibly kind to me. I am not good being at the receiving of things. I am more a giver.

    I also have a weird thing in my mind that has made The Beast a living thing that watches us. ( I know - CRAZY!) But don't you feel that way sometimes?

    Anyway- to go even crazier- there is a part of me that feels I was so strong and independent the first time I beat it. But now that IT is back if IT sees I suddenly need help and assistance I am somehow weaker and won't be able to fight it as hard.

    I don't think I am explaining it right because I am not even making sense to myself!

    ANYWAY- I have one day left and then the cancer is gone along with my breasts. But if I look ANYTHING like the women in my PS's office who were kind enough to let me see what they looked like- I will look good.

    Still working on my escape from the hospital though!!!

    Thank you for your prayers and pms and for the love you have shown me. The sisterhood is mighty powerful and I am SO lucky to have such wonderful women in my corner!!

    Love,g
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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited March 2007
    I think I understand how you feel about IT seeing you accept help from others and that making you look weak.

    Another perspective you may want to consider: When you allow friends to provide you with comfort in what ever way they can, be it food, transportation, cleaning, yard work, child care, whatever, you are really providing THEM an opportunity to feel good about Themselves.
    Now, why would you want to steal from them the good feelings they could have by being a caring friend to you.
    Just a thought.
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited March 2007

    So true, Dotti. Thank you. Plus it makes the Beast think he has a whole group to fight - not just me!

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  • gerbie
    gerbie Member Posts: 89
    edited March 2007
    Gina,

    Dotti brought up an excellent point. In a way you are giving back by accepting the kindnesses of others. You are one brave lady and I follow your posts. I will be thinking positive thoughts for your surgery. I think the Beast has met his match and is about to go down!!!

    Love,
    Gerbie
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  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited March 2007
    I so agree with Dottie. I have a friend who was in the hospital and then rehab for 10 weeks..he broke his ankle and then when he got home he fell and broke his back!

    Anyway..one of the great things about him was that when we went to visit him in the hospital he would ask us to do things for him... It was really great and I told him that it really helps to knww what he wants because we want to help him but don't always know with what.

    So, g...let them help you because they want to help you and it is good for both you and them!

    I wish you the best.
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  • linny
    linny Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2007
    Gina, good luck on Wed, I know you will do well, you are an inspiration to me. A friend who had b.c. 8 years ago and now has another primary in the other breast is also having mast. this Wed, March 7th (my 36th wedding anniversary!). Where in New York do you live, I am there quite often, my daughter lives in Cedarhurst, and my son in Queens.

    How long will you be in hospital? In Toronto, it is usually just overnight.

    Thinking of you every day,
    Linda
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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited March 2007
    Gina, best of luck. I am pulling for you! Here is to a speedy recovery.

    Janis
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  • DragonladyTina
    DragonladyTina Member Posts: 371
    edited March 2007
    Gina,

    KNOW THIS MY FRIEND!!

    I hope the surgeon can fit in the OR tomorrow because it will be filled with so many of your friends rooting for you and your speedy getaway from the hospital.
    It is not only you fighting the beast tomorrow, it is all of us, we are fighting along with you, for ourselves, our mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers and our dear friends like you .
    We will not be there in person but boy, will we ever be there with you in spirit. You will feel the warmth of our hugs as we wrap our protective arms around you to keep you warm and safe.
    We all love you Gina, be strong and let us know anything as soon as you are physically able.

    love Tina
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  • Madison
    Madison Member Posts: 1,819
    edited March 2007
    Oh Tina, you said it so well.....YES NS we will be there tomorrow...we all love you!!

    Love madison
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  • c2et
    c2et Member Posts: 28
    edited March 2007
    Dear Gina:
    I wanted to join in and wish you a swift recovery for your coming surgery. I will be thinking of you and sending healing thoughts and cyber hugs your way.
    All the very best to you.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007

    Gina...I'm like you and find it almost impossible to let others help me, seeing it as a sign of weakness. Towards the end of my treatments though, it occurred to me to let myself be more open to others' efforts anmd desires to help and found that, when I did that, I actually felt stronger! Go figure. Maybe it's just that when you feel surrounded by helpful forces, you are less filed with needless anxieties and your inner healing forces can work better. But what the hell do I know...I just know that worked well for me and am suggesting that you just let go and give it a try. The Beast can't possibly be stronger than all of the powerful prayers and thoughts that we are sending to you! As you go into surgery tomorrow, remember that and think of all of us right there with you...because we will be!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2007
    Gina, my advice is let the people that want to help you receive a blessing. Don't take that away from them.

    I didn't like the fact that one of my friends INSISTED on bring food once a week. My DH was cooking and it really wasn't necessary. But she's just that kind of person. She loves to help others. And you have to admit that it's nice when people are "there" for you. So many women do not have someone taking care of them. Accept it. You can always send thank-you cards when you feel up to it.
    Shirley
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  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited March 2007
    GINA, GINA, GINA, GINA, GINA!!!
    YOU GO GIRL!!! KICK IT'S BUTT!! NO SURRENDER!!!

    lini
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  • looneycrew
    looneycrew Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2007
    You will do fabulous tomorrow. I know your nerves have to be jumpin' all over the place. It really won't be that bad. Watch those clots and good luck with anestesia!
    I'll be sending you good vibes.
    Take care,
    Jen
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  • BJAlexandria
    BJAlexandria Member Posts: 96
    edited March 2007

    Blog - I posted, but don't see it coming up on your blog! Maybe it takes a bit of time to show up. Anyway -- NS, I'm so PO'd that you have this second diagnosis, girl. You're so loved here on BC.org -- you're such an inspiration to all of us. You beat that bastard beast (like we all know you CAN!) I'm so inspired by you.

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited March 2007
    NS...got my NS button on and leaving it on till you are totally better again. We are warming up the magic carpet for tomorrow's trip. Know that we will all be with you all through the day, surrounding you with love and care. You will not be alone. Just imagine all of us thinking of you and whispering in your ear "We love you, you will be fine."
    Kick that beast right square in the a$$
    Love ya sweet sister
    Vickie
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  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited March 2007

    My button(thank you, Divine Ms. Deb)has been on all day, too. It'll be there 'til you're better, just like Vickie's. I know I haven't been around much, but will you swing by and pick me up? Time to circle those wagons, girls!! Giddy-up!!

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited March 2007

    We will be sure to bring you too sweet Lini...have missed you.

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