People who lie and fake terminal cancer.

Here's my story: A woman in our community, in her early 40s, who was not sick, used to shave her head and wear headscarves plus she had very pale skin and eyebrows. So she looked sick! She volunteered at the elementary school where I worked as an aide. She did the shaved head/scarf routine for several years. Why, I have no idea. But many people erroneously assumed she'd had chemo and cancer. She was very soft-spoken and never went out of her way to tell people any different.

Fast forward a few years later, after my diagnosis and losing my hair to chemo: Everyone at school knew I'd had a bc diagnosis (tho I kept the stage iv part to myself). I started the new school year without my wig when my hair was 1/8" long. A teacher whom I'd worked with frequently saw me and said, "Did you lose your hair, or did you just cut it short?" What she was saying was, "Are you doing this for attention? Are you faking it like that other woman?"

Seriously? Did she think I would go to such extreme that I would *want* to go around with that short of hair? To gain sympathy? She didn't know me better than that?

I politely told her I'd lost my hair due to chemo, but inside I was so incredibly offended and insulted. I felt like "Wow, how dare you think I am looking for attention. " The teacher was putting me in that same category as the volunteer woman who wore the scarves. I have never really forgiven that teacher, who, btw, was diagnosed with bc last year.

The volunteer's odd behavior made people question my truth. And I didn’t like it.

Yes, it is a pretty twisted thing to do, fortunately it is usually found out. The world has all kinds of people and always will. I have never lost my hair nor looked “sick” and have had people question whether I really had stage IV bc or not. I don’t waste my time and energy on them. I know my truth, so it’s ironic that a cancer faker would go to great lengths to look sick.

I Imo believe it's all about attention. They get to talk about themselves. They get fawned over, Ive had fund raisers done for my family. People bring you flowers, meals, scarves, gift cards, money, blankets & they are thoughtful caring people and b they care. they get pitied and they get used to it. There is a show on Hulu called “The Act". It was pretty darn good and it showed a case just like this. Free government assistance and housing. Just any perk, one could think of. Last wish Disney deals. Make a wish foundation. I mean it's quite amazing what lengths people will go to for some things . But it's the most disgusting thing I can imagine faking or even joking around about something like that enough, to not even have respect for those who do have it. Asshats! Cancer is thee worst thing in my life ever and for someone who is perfectly physically healthy, to say they have cancer, especially stage four cancer, shows a far from healthy mind.... people never cease to amaze me.

My brother was sending me pictures from his visit in san Diego , exactly right under the cliff bluff is where their family had sat the day before, on last day of vacation. The very next day, it’s released in the news that the same bluff had fallen and killed three people, a woman and her sister and her daughter were on the beach celebrating the fact that she had been declared cancer free that same week. An example that, the cancer doesn’t always gets ya! By what a-shame. Poor family. Shit can happen in an instant!

JO-5 wow thank you for the very good reminder!! I am quite gullible and trusting and I could totally see something like that happening to me. I am also pretty good at knowing if something seems fishy or off - it’s just that I am one of those folks who loves to believe people are good and honest. I know I am in the minority here. It is a hopeful fantasy!

Micmel - that is such a crazy story about the beach bluff! Yikes!!!! Makes my stomach do a somersault

I have seen a post or two from someone who allegedly has MBC and is asking a lot of scientific, factual questions (perhaps trying to write some sort of article or paper) or give a plug for some wacky alternative therapy that supposedly cured them. However, those are few and far between. Usually they will not share info about themselves and only have one or a few posts in their history. However, if there are more entrenched posters that are part of the regular conversation here, I am not aware of it and would be super creeped out by that!

I took some heat here when I called someone out for claiming she had cancer and had cured herself holistically. She had only felt a lump, the lump was never even confirmed via imaging, let alone a biopsy (80% of breast biopsies turn out to be benign). But miraculously she cured herself within months. I was surprised that some people here defended her right to share her "cure for cancer". That's how easy it is to get vulnerable people to believe. After they get attention on a thread here, they go on to start a blog. When the blog becomes popular, they decide to write a book. Sorry (not sorry) but I have no patience for people who claim to have the miracle cure for their pretend (or unconfirmed) cancer. There was another woman here who claimed to have a similar diagnosis to mine. I held my tongue even I thought that some of the things she was saying didn't make sense. After she started private messaging me to ask questions, I noticed that whatever we discussed in private became part of her story a few days later. Once I caught on I stopped responding to her, and I haven't seen her around in quite some time. I think some people hang around here so they can learn to get the terminology right and gain the needed info to do a better job of faking it. They steal our stories and make them their own. They steal photos from real cancer patients to help enhance their story. I think some fakers may come here to anonymously bounce their story off real cancer patients to see if it passes the sniff test before they go public.

I know that some people do it for the attention they desperately crave (Munchausen by Internet - read "The Internet Has a Cancer-Faking Problem https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/05/faking-cancer-online/588334/ ). Faking cancer is also a great way to gain followers and increase popularity on social media because people with cancer are perceived to be heroic and inspiring (I sure don't feel heroic or inspiring). But make no mistake, the biggest reason for faking a terminal cancer diagnosis is to scam money and gifts. Whether it's a "wellness blogger" who fakes it to sell cures, books, and private coaching, or people who fake it to scam family, friends, their community, and strangers, it's all about the money.

Faking cancer has become big business because crowdfunding and social media has made it easy. Here's just a small sample of people who have recently been in the news for faking it so they can defraud people. Various charges include theft by deception, felony theft, fraud, forgery, obtaining property through false pretense, wire fraud, etc., One woman received more than half a million dollars (US)! Many are serving/have served jail or prison sentences (quite a few were busted on federal felony charges, some only faced state charges), but these are just some of the people who have recently been caught. How many more are still out there and getting away with scamming people out of tens of thousands of dollars?

Belle Gibson - Philly this is the probably one of the people your MO was referring to because she was a high-profile wellness blogger

Kate Hubble

Marissa Marchand

John Looker/Pelotonia

Candace Strong

Jennifer Alford

Dan Mallory

Kristin Ashley Eagle

Alicia Pierini

Jennifer Gaskin

Jessica Good

Joyell Riley

Victoria Morrison

Jenny Flynn Cataldo

Shivone Deokaran

Michael Kocher

Kelly Johanneson

Ken Mabone

Hali Etie

Ashley Lively

Alodis Reynolds

Amber Buskirk

Santana Banta

Sara Nicole Kaufman

Mandy Hargraves

Jessica Krecksay

Tausha Marsh

Ann Crall

Jennifer Stover

Caroline Zarate Boyle

Melissa Rice

Michael Guglielmucci

Heather Farley

Vanessa O'Rourke

Alysha Goring

Hanna Dickenson

Lacy Johnson

Emma LaGarde

Brandi Weaver Gates

Brittany Ozorowski

Lucy Wieland

Melissa Smith

Amy Hammer

Al Reynolds

Jasmine Mistry

Sadly there are many, many more.

It should be noted that Jessica Ainscough’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and chose no conventional tx. She followed the Gerson therapy and she passed as well about 2 years or so after her dx.

We have had a few members over the years who have self dx’ed and refused to go for a formal, science based, medical dx* I don’t really know what to make of them. I suppose some of them could be fakers or have Munchausen’s Syndrome (thanks pupmom 🐕) .

You know, there is probably not much we can do about those folks. I’m sure they’ve always existed but the internet has given them not only a global audience but anonymity. Let’s face it, although I have faith that the vast, vast majority of us are being honest, there will always be a few who are not. For the record, ruthbru and I have met IRL. We are both real 😊.

*Exception for our unique abigail. She did have dx’ed bc in the end, but she went through so much over the years with no conventional dx or tx. It was her choice, but difficult for me to read of her suffering.

Yes, exbrnxgrl! Jessica's story is sad because she was young and her only option came with no guarantees - that makes her choice to forego the treatement understandable. But, her mom's death was probably avoidable. No sympathy for Jessica's less-than-honest advocacy role, though.

And, agree that there isn't much to do, except be careful with those fakers who may show up here.

Good advice from everyone re protecting ourselves.

Over the years I’ve seen and learned about many different kinds of...well, not sure if you’d call them imposters or what the term would be, but people who prey on the good intentions of others, and this extends beyond the “fake illness” ones. It seems rampant at times. I know far too many local volunteer school organizations that have had their hard-earned fundraising dollars stolen by a “trusted” member of their group; a fire department robbed blind by a resident living among them stealing from them for over ten years; small town governments swindled by employees who somehow divert utility payments to their own bank accounts and other ways of “cooking the books” for their own personal monetary gain. And many more stories like this that leave me shaking my head.

So mainly, I see people taking advantage for monetary gain. It’s a twisted mind that does it. When I was younger and had suspicions and spoke out, my concerns were often dismissed. But as time and again I was right to question things, I’ve learned to listen to my gut.

I agree with Micmel that a lot of it is about attention. As an honest-to-God cancer patient (and wish I wasn't), people treat you as special.

You [can] get all the "poor you, what can I do for you"s that you want. I'm bald at the moment. People give up their seats on the subway. They try to help you carry things. At work they think I'm amazing because I can work and do cancer treatment. etc. etc. Every so often I think "ooh, this is cool" or "I feel special" so I can see how people could get addicted to those feelings.

Of course along with the feeling I'd like to give them my cancer, LOL.

Doing it for money? Well there's a special place in hell for people like that.

Yeah, the Dan Mallory/AJ Finn story was really interesting. I met a guy (very briefly) on Saturday who has claimed to have leukemia. I know his sister. She told me that he was diagnosed with leukemia a few years ago and decided not to use any conventional treatment, and his cancer went into remission. So (of course) he started a blog/website (now not operational) and wrote a book about how to cure cancer using just nutritional supplements and essential oils, and other voodoo. The book (supposedly) has evidence of his diagnosis, but anyone interested could fake a path report if they wanted. The saddest part is, his wife was later diagnosed with colorectal cancer and of course refused treatment, and died from it last year. So what parts of this story are true and what not, I have no idea. My friend (the guy's sister) wouldn't lie about it, but I don't know him. He certainly could lie. I dunno.

As for me, there is nothing special enough about having cancer or going through treatment that would induce me to fake it! The baggers at the grocery store still pack my bags too heavy. I still have to follow all the traffic laws and pay my bills!

Apparently some people thrive on attention. I certainly don't want it for having a terminal illness. When I was diagnosed stage iv, I only told family and close friends asking them to keep my confidence. I never told anyone else for about five years and am glad I kept it private.

Sometimes now I will tell an acquaintance a little bit about the progression I've had and it feels odd to me to talk about it to them. Word gets around in a small town, and I was attending a luncheon given after a funeral service. As I stood in the buffet line, a man in town who volunteers for everything was dishing spaghetti onto everyone's plate and started being overly nosey asking about my health. I think I know what he was getting at. Really? I'm going to discuss stage iv bc in a busy lunch line? I smiled and said, “I’m good!”

I told dh afterwards that I shoulda said, “Hey Joe, I'm not ready to go yet so don't freeze the leftover spaghetti!"