Mental health tips

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AnnieLNZ
AnnieLNZ Member Posts: 23
edited June 2019 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Hi all

I've been lurking the background these past few months while trying to come to terms with my stage IV diagnosis.

Some days I feel OK but right now I can't stop crying & the thoughts of why bother I'm going to die anyway (note: my last lot of scans showed stability but my stupid mind keeps ignoring that little fact).

After weeks of feeling positive & strong & kick-ass I'm now overwhelmed & feeling so bereft by it all.

So my question is - what are your tip & tricks for moving on with life when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hide from it all.

Many thanks xx

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  • LoveFromPhilly
    LoveFromPhilly Member Posts: 1,308
    edited June 2019

    Hi Annie,

    I can completely relate.

    For me, the best things that have helped are:

    1) antidepressants (I’m on Lexapro)

    2) a really good therapist that I started seeing weekly and sometimes 2x/week

    3) crying as much as I needed to to my loved ones and just allowing the grief to be there and flow

    4) listening to Buddhist dharma talks/podcasts

    5) planning trips with my closest loved ones to amazing places. Having something to look forward to and think about helps me a lot each day.

    That is truly my mixture. I fought the antidepressant idea for way too long. Once I succumbed to it, and started on it, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt. I probably say at least once a day “thank you universe for my Lexapro!!!!” It really has saved me emotionally.

    Big hug,

    Philly

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  • AnnieLNZ
    AnnieLNZ Member Posts: 23
    edited June 2019

    Thanks LoveFromPhilly :)

    Reading your response & knowing that someone else has felt the same is so helpful.

    I guess it's allowing yourself to feel and experience the wide range of yo-yoing emotions and be OK with that.

    I'm on antidepressants (escitilopram) but do think I need to find a good counsellor as while my husband has been AMAZING having someone unrelated or not emotionally invested would be good.

    I've just changed MO as my old one was - well let's just say while he was nice he lacked a certain amount of empathy. My new one is lovely, more proactive & she totally gets the emotional side of things.

    Planning things (& not over analysing the future - haha easier said than done) is key huh. I'm aiming to go to the UK and Scotland in September which I'm super excited about. My youngest son arrives home on Friday for a weeks break from University. And today the sun is shining & life goes on.

    Thanks again :)

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  • LoveFromPhilly
    LoveFromPhilly Member Posts: 1,308
    edited June 2019

    hi annie - it sounds like you’re doing everything right. This disease is simply a huge mental weight and I think that it is quite normal to be depressed.

    I wonder if maybe increasing your antidepressant dosage a little bit during the “harder” months may be helpful too?

    I’m pretty sure the one you’re on is the same as I am on...Escitalopram is the pharmaceutical name for Lexapro. What dose are you on?

    And yes, having someone to talk to (aside froM family and friends) I do personally believe is key. I hope you are able to find someone that is amazing! If you start “shopping for therapists” make sure you feel a definite “yes!” with whomever you choose. We’ve got no room to “put up” with someone who is “good enough.” We need the best!

    Also, keep posting on here and sharing and venting! This site has been, for me, an amazing resource for working through the emotional aspect of having an MBC diagnosis. If anyone understands, we do!

    And as for podcasts, these two folks really help me when I’m down...these are a couple of the dharma talks I mentioned:

    Jonathan Foust

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jonathan-foust/id455422434?i=1000442039853

    Tara Brach

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tara-brach/id265264862?i=1000433783280

    Hugs,

    Philly

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  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited June 2019

    Annie, I bumped a thread that you might like to read:

    Tips for fighting the dark clouds

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  • AnnieLNZ
    AnnieLNZ Member Posts: 23
    edited June 2019

    Thanks ShetlandPony & LoveFromPhilly :) the clouds have lifted somewhat and I'm feeling better.

    Hugs to you both xx

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