Mastectomy done!

Friday -- five days ago. It was a day surgery which kind of bugs me because it seems like cutting off a body part should merit a night in the hospital but not the case anymore.

The first night was fine. They put some sort of numbing agent in the cavity that wears off approximately 20 hours later. My impression was that most of the pain was from muscle stretching from the tissue expander so make sure to take the muscle relaxer with the codeine. The pain has been completely manageable with the drugs. I am off everything as of today with no discomfort.

The breast looks like someone enthusiastically went after it with a ball ping hammer. The PS didn't fill it at all so it's this flat purple thing that no one but me is allowed to see. The insurance company in its infinite wisdom has decreed that 90 days must pass between the placement of the TE and the final fill. I would love to talk to the person who came up with that -- certainly not someone walking around with a flat purple boob.

The drain is predictably the worst part. It fills with gunk that I have to empty 4-5 times a day which always makes me gag, My clothing line doesn't lend itself to drains so mostly I look like a have a grapefruit sized tumor on my side. It's not a good look, but I insist on getting dressed and putting on make up every day as part of my self care regime -- look better, feel better.

The drain is meant to stay with me for 2-3 weeks so I'm trying to make friends with it. Every so often it gets caught on something which is a truly weird feeling but presumably it's stitched in my skin somewhere under the itchy 17th century corset I am not allowed to take off except to shower which I haven't been able to bring myself to do. It's one thing to look down the corset at the purple flat boob but quite another to see it head on in a mirror.

Margins and nodes were clear so there's a good chance the mastectomy will be the end of it, but that's what they told me last time so pardon my skepticism. The final pathology report should be in in the next couple of days which is a lot like waiting for the jury to come back. I might be talked into radiation but can't see myself doing chemo again. It takes so much energy -- not just the chemo but being upbeat and cheerful and I have to be upbeat and cheerful or my kids get bummed and worried and I can't stand that.

Plus, and this is important, there are no bald women in Denver. You can't throw a brick in Dallas without hitting a bald woman, but here there are none. I despise being the center of attention -- scarves fool no one and wigs itch, So there's that.