4 weeks post-exchange surgery and struggling

Jonella,

You are still very early in the process post-exchange. The feelings of despair and "is this it?" are common. I am sorry you feel this way.

For me, I found things began feeling and looking like me around 3 weeks. That was the beginning. I'm 15 weeks into it now and things are so much better: Implants are softer, I don't feel the need to analyze myself in the mirror all the time, and best of all, I sometimes get a glimpse of myself and really like the way they look. I assume that means I have embraced the "new normal".

I would suggest that you feel the implants. I always liked the slightly squishy feel at the top of the implants and now noting the difference in the feel in a few weeks is amazing! Things will get better! It is also A-OK to grieve what we've lost! I had DCIS and did only a NSBMX so people too thought I should jump back into life as if I'd had only a pimple popped or some other minor procedure. A therapist for a few sessions might help as well.

Hope some of this helps!

Carla

it does take time to get used to the new foobs. I remember thinking a few months ago, "wow they feel comfortable". They do continue to get softer and you can start to sleep on your sides without thinking somethings going to shift.

As for the moving on from cancer thing takes awhile. As you see I'm still here lurking. I think it is difficult to move on when treatment is over for many, but it does get easier as time goes by

I am also one of those people who just had a mastectomy and reconstruction. I will be getting genetic testing soon. My mother my aunt and one of my female cousins have all had breast cancer. So even though there is no known gene at this time I also think there is something genetic.I think there are other people out there that feel like you do. Because the whole process of getting the diagnosis, going through the mastectomy etc. It's hard to get through it unscathed. I have also been having some issues and also may seek counseling. About 2 days before my last surgery I found out my best friend had a very serious form of cancer. Besides the fact that I feel grief for her I find it tough to be happy for myself.

Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing my speaking up about your feelings and seeking help. I also think that the new chest will eventually become your new normal.

I think my anxiety comes from the fact that I have no more (other than teeny bits here and there) breast tissue into which a recurrence could happen. If it comes back, it will be bad...no buffer zone.

My BS said something similar when I bemoaned the fact that I breastfed my daughter for 39 months, lived a healthy lifestyle, etc. All I can do now is keep trying.

I am also now 7 weeks post exchange and feel the same way you do. Everyone said I'd feel great, but I don't. I just wanted to say that you are all not alone, and i agree that those of us who were "lucky" enough to have surgery and not chemo or radiation are sort of in a tough spot. I think that if i was still fighting for my life I'd care less about what my foobs looked and felt like, but since that is all I am dealing with it's hard to put behind me. I will say that I started working out about 3 weeks ago and while it's hard getting back into shape feeling strong is helping.

I am new to this forum and just want to say I agree with the statement about having a bmx for a small lesion has caused me a lot of anxiety. I am constantly wondering if recovery would have been easier with a lumpectomy and radiation. I have had complications with my body rejecting one expander so I recently went through the exchange just on one side and will be waiting 2 months to do the other side. I often remind myself why I made the decision I did and want to share with those who might be struggling. Again these reason were a personal choice and does not fit everyone’s situation. #1- Strong family history #2- Anxiety over future mammograms #3- Radiation affects to my heart and lungs (husband is a pulmonologist) #4- If I had a recurrence after a lumpectomy in the same breast I would have had to have a mastectomy because they don’t do radiation twice on the same breast. I was currently a candidate for a skin and nipple sparing mastectomy that may have changed in the future The pathology on my good breast came back as atypical precancerous cells. So I tell myself everyday that I made the best decision for my future while I struggle with the present.

I am 7 weeks post exchange surgery, and feel the same. I had complications with healing and an extrusion (the implant came through my skin) about a week ago and had the right implant taken out in emergency surgery. I feel like everyone thinks I should be over it by now, mentally and physically. Post removal surgery feels like starting over. I have a drain and a pretty rough looking stitched up area where I once had skin. Plastic surgeon told my husband after removing the implant, he has all kinds of tools in the tool box to fix this. I do find it is true that people think if you didn't have chemo and rads, That it is a walk in the park. I take tamoxifen and I know that affects my mental health. I hope by you sharing on here, it will help you understand that none of this is easy and its ok to feel whatever you're feeling. You are not alone. !

I had possibly the same diagnosis that you had. I opted for the double mastectomy. I also didn't need chemo or radiation. The loss of the feeling in my breasts is something that I've never gotten used to. They couldn't save the nipples, so I look quite odd. But with that said, I'm happy to be here and my desire to live fully outweighs my feelings of loss. I had the reconstruction using my lats in 2007. The implants feel fine, but balancing everything, I'd rather have the implants and be here, then still have my normal breasts. I think talking with someone can be helpful. This site is helpful, but some people want to share too much information that may be scary. Losing breasts is tough and not to be taken lightly. Don't be too hard on yourself. Even though so many women have had breast cancer, it is still traumatic.