Vent about long term treatment

I wanted to post something that has been rolling around in my head, but I didn't know which thread to post it. So here goes....

Do any of you feel this way???

I was talking with a friend this weekend and he said " I cannot believe you have cancer.  You are still working.  You still attend church ( we attend the same church ).  You look healthy"---he meant not grey, skinny, frail.     And really I feel pretty good overall, I guess.  I have fatigue and pain, but it is doable so far.  I am still up and around and living life.   So I started thinking.   We are told that these meds are slowing the cancer.  There is no cure.  This will eventually be terminal.    And then I think-- how will it progress?  When?  I don't feel terminal yet. 

Is there a "normal" way this goes???   Does the liver tumor start growing bigger, since we know it is in the liver and we watch the liver every 3 months with CT??    Will the cancer spread to other areas not effected yet??  Will I one day have a seizure or can't talk and know it has spread to the brain, will I have trouble breathing and know it has spread to the lungs, will I have GI problems and it has spread to the GI tract?? 

 Those with progression on here--How does it progress??   How does it eventually kill us??

 Will I live 1 more year, or like some have posted, 10 years??   Or more.  No one knows.  So just waiting for the other shoe to drop and never knowing when it will happen.

What should I expect to happen with MBC???

I need to have this conversation with my MO, but as you all know our doc appointments are limited and I have other things to discuss when I see my MO.  

Thoughts...….

“Stage IV undercover badass”, I love that!

gailmary, you are not alone! I had a lady talk my ear off for over an hour about all these different herbs and medicines. I’m open to that stuff and I appreciate how much she cared. Sometimes it’s just frustrating and people who aren’t going through it can only ‘get it’ so much.

Just came across this thread. My original DX Stage II was in 2001. The reaction of people around me took more out of me than the actual treatments (surgery, radio, chemo) and for years...like years...I'd be out enjoying a night and someone would ask was I still okay...am I sure...There were the people who were encouraging and then the others who had stories of women who went 10, 15, 20 years and then got a recurrence and were gone in a few months. I had a friend who passed away last month after a ten year journey with ovarian cancer. What broke her heart was she was just seen as her disease. People mean well but often all she was asked how she was doing medicalaly and what treatments she was on etc. Her kids are now 21 and 17 and it used to make her feel like a disease because the normal conversations about kids, vacations were overshadowed by having to explain her latest treatment. She had had this great career in New York and there were many people who never knew that about her. She was just the woman on disability and doing clinical trials and chemo. Her husband couldn't go out for an evening without having to explain what her latest treatment, health status was. For that reason I have kept my DX to a small circle and family. It leaked after my original Stage IV dx (ironically from that friend with ovarian cancer who I had asked that she keep it quiet) a few years ago but most assume that it's been taken care of. While I struggle at times, it's less exhausting to enjoy and live as much a normal life as possible instead of people speculating how long I have or talking about the disease that has taken enough from me already. Sorry ,that's my RANT.