high risk. how do you deal with the waiting

I can empathize with your stress and I'm sorry about all of it. Last year I had a series of abnormal mammograms, MRI's and ultrasounds and the waiting in between was excruciating some days. They performed a core biopsy and removed ADH found by clusters of microcalcifications on my mammo. There are two places found during MRI that we are now 'watching' - they present with cancer like kinetics but are smooth. My next MRI is this Thursday. The last 6 month follow up, it had enlarged some.

Honestly, I was/am a terrible waiter. I googled anything and everything, highlighted areas of my report to look up and try to understand, etc. My birth mother was diagnosed with BC last year and my paternal grandmother died of it in her 40's. Oddly, my adoptive mom was diagnosed with stage 3 BC the same time as my birth mom. So with everyone having BC all around me, I was convinced it wasn't going to end well. What did I do? I began meditating. At least for those 5 or 10 minutes, I was focusing on breathing, allowing thoughts to come in and out, focusing on body sensations, etc. and it was effective for distraction even if only for a few minutes. That would be my suggestion - try to just breathe. I think there's not really any full way to relax until you have an answer - any answer - in front of you.

Sending you peace. I know it's hard.

hello there,

I completely understand your feelings. The waiting. The wondering. The hypothetical responses to hypothetical test results. I am also 38 and was diagnosed with ALH, Fibrocystic breast changes, and dense breasts 8 years ago. My older sister is BRCA positive so it made me even more high risk. I have endured the same type of screening as you and am about to have my 4th biopsy (2nd Surgical) in 8 years. It is nerve wracking. I too have a background in science as a Nutritionist so I want all the info possible. it helps me have an idea of how I would respond in certain hypothetical situations. I love my surgeon. She is calm, conservative when it comes to surgery, and so willing to respectfully answer any and all of my questions. She has helped me tremendously over these years. I just had genetic testing yesterday and am scheduled for surgery next Thursday to remove a growing fibroadenoma. The waiting will be the worst. I am an emotional person. I will spend some time on these boards and reading journal studies, which will be positive some days and negative for me on other days. I will watch old shows again that I have seen a million times (ie Grey's, Felicity, etc). I pray a lot and cry a lot. I write down gratitudes. I box and channel all my feelings into punching the bag. I play basketball and lift weights. I made a playlist specifically for changing my mood. I cook. I will throw myself into Christmas shopping and decorate a week or two earlier than most . My first surgery was also in November. Depending on the results of my genetic testing I may reach a point that I am ready to reduce my risk with surgery(oopherectomy or mastectomy). I am not there yet but the worry, waiting, anxiety, and screenings effect different people in different ways. My sister sees them as just routine tasks at this point but she started this journey at 16. She is single and doesn't have any kids so the risk though very real is hers alone. I tell my family if a biopsy is needed but I don't call everyone. I have tried over these last few years to be more transparent about my risk and screening because I think it reminds my peers that they should not assume their age removes them from risk. Good luck to you as you navigate all this. Cancer sucks. Being High Risk sucks too. hugs 😊