Just diagnosed and scared.

Dear love83, last year I was 37 and pregnant with my 3rd. Grade 3, 8cm, 4 positive nodes.

We threw everything atthis disease, mastectomy, chemo, radiation, etc. I’m doing well. I’ve definitley needed help with the kids (esp the baby), but otherwise things are good.

I’m here. Please let me know how I can help.

I only work parttime, and was only doing online work while on chemo. My main side effect was fatigue and some aches with one of the chemo meds. It depends a bit on what you're being given and how you respond. I do think a lot of people work, but maybe not everyday. Radiation wasn't terrible, though there was fatigue, it wasn't as bad as chemo.

I'm lucky to have a lot of family and friends around to help with the kids and look after me as well. How's your support network? I was frustrated at times, not wanting to ask for help or accept it, but I do think it's good to accept it. I had to come to terms with the fact that I needed it.

The shock is normal and you're in the hardest stage, being diagnosed but not having a plan yet. Let yourself cry, it is sad and scary, but it is not the end. There are lots of treatments for breastcancer, and hopefully this dark phase will be over.

I'm here. I felt so lost and overwhelmed in the beginning, especially with small kids. Please don't hesitate to post/message.

Sorry I missed one of your questions. The only therapy that's left for me is the hormonal therapy. I'm on Tamoxifen for ten years (though I may switch to an aromatase inhibitor). I've done chemo, radiation, etc.

I just had to count, I was diagnosed beginning of June—5 months! 41 yrs old. Right after diagnosis I was a complete basket case. Cried for weeks, not sleeping. I think I froze in time. Things will get better when you have a treatment plan. You will know what’s coming next, more or less.

If you can get a great massage therapist while going through chemo it has me tremendously. Acupuncture works great, too. It’s great self care, if nothing else.

PM me if you have questions!

Jess

Love83, you and me are the same age, although I was diagnosed a couple years ago. I just wanted to offer some encouragement - the dust will settle and it won't feel so jarring forever. Be kind to yourself right now. It's very easy to be scared by other people experiences with treatment and side effects. It can be overwhelming. Don't get caught up in the fears, because everyone has a unique experience. What is hard for others might be easy for you, and vice versa. As much as you can, just take things one step at a time.

Also, because you are young, I hope you can get an opinion from an NCI designated cancer hospital, or better yet, get treated at one. See: https://www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-centers

I didn't know the difference when I was first diagnosed, but NCI centers have better outcomes, and are the most up to date on treatments and research. Breast cancer behaves somewhat differently in young women, and it needs to be handled accordingly. My original doctors treated my breast cancer like an "ordinary" breast cancer - big mistake. It wasn't until I went to an NCI designated center that they got things under control. Anyway, I just wanted to make you aware of the difference, because I wish I had known that in the beginning.

Big hugs and best wishes to you. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

Love, I hate that you're here but I am glad you reached out. As you have seen everyone here is so supportive and caring! And yes, here you will find answers as we all know how it feels to be newly dx and full of questions. Its true you will feel more in control once your plan of care is in place. I just want to add that emotions will come and go and come again out of the blue when you think you have a handle on it. Don't worry or feel bad for crying later down the road if or when it happens. Its natural. Cry, let it out. This is an emotional AND physical shock and its a long road. But you will realize in this journey a strength and resilience you never imagined you had inside yourself. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. Ask your medical team lots of questions and if you are considering reconstruction get as much information as you can about the various options.

Take care,

Heather

🤗 that’s good. hopefully you’ll get some helpful information and peace of mind soon.