The Beast & Me: Round Two

NS,
I'm so sorry to hear your new. I too have found you so inspiring. I'm also in my second battle with "The Beast".
I was diagnosed 15 years ago, at 35, with IDC, had lumpectomy and radiation and 4 years of Tamoxifen. Everything great since then. Went for a routine Mammo in Nov. and discovered IDC in opposite breast, triple negative this time. SNB-, receiving chemo this time. To start chemo in next 2 weeks. I know we have experience, but this second time has really "thrown" me. I feel like I'm having a hard time rallying myself. Maybe we can support each other thru this! My thoughts are with you!
Mary

G,
Just poppin in to say love ya sister!!! With you all the way.
Hugs
Vickie

Hi Sherri,
What led to a brain MRI? My onc does scans after staging when symptomatic.Is a brain MRI part of staging? Beth

Oh, sweet Beth, I missed whatever whoever said to you. Hon, making a decision to have a bilat mast when you do not have bc must be one of the hardest decisions. I have one breast left and I'm having the hardest time deciding what to do. And, in my mind I know what I should do. I had 5 nodes positive AFTER neoadjuvant chemo.

I didn't have reconstruction and don't plan to. My DH said something "funny." He said if I had the other boob cut off I wouldn't have to wear a bra. I sorta yelled at him, ARE YOU KIDDING! I am vain and to me having boobs on while being clothed in public is more attractive. That's just me. And if others feel comfortable without wearing a prosthesis or not having reconstruction then that wonderful for them. But if I want to enlarge my boobs to a size D one day and then go down to a C the next day I have that option. Just kidding. My C is plenty big enough. LOL

I wish you so much luck with your decision and I pray that the surgeon will find NOTHING in your breasts except for plain ole fat...LOL
Shirley

I've mentioned this before, but I dyed my hair the night before surgery. Kind of weird, but I had never done it before, so it made going into surgery a little more interesting and not quite so scary.

Hi G- I am so sorry your news isn't better. I don't post often, but have read many of yours. We had discussed the possibility of you needing more chemo and you had mentioned TC which is what I received. It really wasn't too bad. I'll keep you in my prayers that things go well with your surgery and that you sail through without a hitch. Good luck. - Sandy

NS,
No matter what we think about the importance of breasts,
when we want to get rid of them, the fact is that
it does help to have them in after/during mastec surgery
when that is possible, it's proven.
Why not spare your self to it and what may come next,
when you can or if you can?

And you feel free to ask what comes on the top of your head
about it, no matter how much you may even consider it vain,
I bet your doctors can handle and do very well your questions,
it's their job too.
Considering the situation you are at, you just have to
and just do not even consider it a "luxury";
It's options, if you feel the need to ask and the need to
have stuff done, and if you can do them, you do it.
AT LEAST LATTER YOU WILL NOT REGRET TO NOT HAVE ASK.
Just as also you can spare yourself from more surgery also later.

I did not had the chance to do that during mastec. surgery,
I had to go through Rads. later on, and even at some point
all lead that I would not be a very good candidate for Recon.;
I am skinny and that can be somehow a prob. ... sort of.
But my PS told me a very important thing
when I started to refuse reconstruction,
that still today pop's in my mind. The way she said this
to me really still bongs in my mind today:
"we are women, the way we think about boobs now
and at this point is one thing, and is just not granted
that tomorrow we will be thinking the same way and do fine with it"
it took me a while to get her, but to me she was very right,
and you may found yourself even wanting to fix it
from day to night for reasons you never considered,
and stretch yourself out for very odd reasons;
sometimes we do can be/turn very strange, really...

And again is just my opinion, is not about being vain,
being vain would be something like,
improving something that is natural and that you are not pleased with,
this is not even a "natural" situation to get rid of the breasts,
so it has nothing to do with being vain or not coz simply what's involved
and the emotional results just are not the same or can even be compared.

Socially we always have something to say when it comes to boobs, don't we?
If we do not have them, we do not have that feminine thing,
if we go for them we are vain ... is there something in between??
Yes there is, and socially it's "the so and so boob's,"
as far as I know none is interested on that
and society also has something to say about it too.
Just as no one can define which reasons are important or not,
coz each person has each own reasons,
if we consider them to ourslefs personaly,
they start being important to us, sound simple to me,
apart from it and most reasons from any and most,
you will never know the real reason why.
At this moment is hard certain decisions,
to get rid of them and so on ... it's a very confusing time
and everything may come on the top of our mind including nonsense,
but just do not let
those social things printed in the back of our mind
stop you from what you think is right for you at this moment
and from doing what you want.

If you can go for what you want, go!
Wishing you lots of strength and all the strength on this.

OoH NOTE, just remembered, sorry for making this so long ...
No matter the intervention you may have, if you put implants or not,
you may want to ask your breast surgeon if there will be
in the room also a plastic surgeon with him/her.
I tell you why, most surgeons doing a mastec. do it all,
to have a plastic surgeon assisting on it the results later
can be a bit different. For instance my surgeon she works
with a plastic surgeon and the things with them go like this,
he opens and she does what she has to do,
and then it's him that deals
with the "details" and it's him that ends the surgery.
The "visual" results can be very different
along and after the recovery and so on;
in some cases even just right after surgery,
a mastec can have a lot and different looks after and they
can cover a lot of things right in that moment.
Some Docs. say that there are things
that later with PS plus Recon. can be fixed by then,
but why not fix them even if details
at that moment instead of leaving it for later?

Again sorry this got long.
Lots of Hugs.

.

Maria, I just wanted to say you summed it up. This is not about vanity. Having a mast can be very traumatic.

What a wise young lady you are.
Shirley

Oh NS, that sucks to have to go through this battle a second time. But that cancer is the one that should be feeling the fear with having you as its opponent!

Sending my hugs and prayers.

NS, I am probably telling you something you already know...
My best friend who is a cancer survivor told me to get a journal or notebook and take it to each appt. She had me write down the appt, time and date along with questions to ask. I have had lots of help from everyone here, including you, to add all kinds of questions I had no idea to even ask. It has helped me keep track.

Hi NS,

I wish you luck today and will hope and pray you get the answers you want. As well as the PS! I am so sorry you have to be dealing with the insurance crapola on top of everything else on your plate. Nothing can be simple, right?

Let us know how you make out. We are here for you.

Jackie

Dear NS,

Sh*t!! I am so sorry you have to endure this again! My prayers are with you. You are a spunky fighter!

The only thing I can say about my mastectomy is that I was very calm the day of the mastectomy. After all of my very stressful waiting, I was happy to be rid of my cancerous breast. I got an immediate expander placed during the surgery with 100 cc's of saline added, so I had a nice little "bump" to take home with me. I bought some soft pads to place in my bra on that side and I also bought disposable nursing pads which kind of filled out my mast side to be more even with my remaining breast. I wore camisoles with built in bras throughout my reconstruction--they were way more comfortable than a bra.

Knowing how sisters/brothers read things from their own minds, perhaps you can discuss this this with your mom on your own, not just from your sister. My m-i-l used to to say stuff like that using my f-i-l as the scapegoat for things She wanted done or not done.
If all else fails and you just must, you can of course have the mast and do the recon later. Sometimes it is the best course when things are not falling into place as they should. Kinda like karma is telling you something, ya know?
Please let us know how it went with the ps today and hope you remembered your questions. Hate when I forget those things.

Gina,

Was gone all day and this my first chance to come here and see how you are doing. Hope your appts. went well. The stress can really mess with your memory and ability to focus on questions you wamt to ask. Even when you take in written questions, it is hard to take in and remember all the answers. Hope you took someone with you for moral support and who can help remember what was said.

Keeping you in my prayers darlin'.




Niki