Does the bell ringing in your cancer center bother you?

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finallyoverit
finallyoverit Member Posts: 382

Just curious of the opinions of my fellow Stage IV’ers.

I read an article today that talked about how some cancer centers are doing away with the ceremonial bell ringing at the end of treatment (chemo and/or radiation) as to not to be insensitive to those of us who will never reach that milestone who might be within an earshot

To be honest, I’ve never really given it any thought until now. Thankfully, it’s never happened when I’ve been in my cancer center. I think that I would feel happy for that person, but also feel a twinge of jealousy knowing that the only way my treatment will “end” is when I either say enough or I die.

I probably shouldn’t have read them, but some of the comments people left were right down cruel. I guess it’s true that you really don’t know what it’s like to be a stage iv patient until you hear those words and actually live it.

I’m really not trying to start a debate, I’m generally curious how others feel about it.

Thoughts?

Comments

  • gramen
    gramen Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2018

    It does make me sad while I'm getting my infusion and I hear all the bell ringing celebration...I just fake it and smile or zone out...

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited October 2018

    I think I heard one bell in the infusion room, and that was fine, although it did cause me a moment of sadness for myself. What I really dreaded was the possibility of enthusiastic nurses offering me the bell at my “final” infusion. Like if they did not see my diagnosis on their computer. But since I stopped a cycle earlier than planned, nobody knew at the time of my last taxol infusion that it was the last one. (For now.) I was relieved that the question therefore did not come up.

    Lab nurses and other medical types routinely ask me if I am “done with treatment” because, as the saying goes, I look good. I usually say something like, “Well, there is no done for me, but I am doing well.” Nod nod, wink wink.

  • blainejennifer
    blainejennifer Member Posts: 1,848
    edited October 2018

    I don't know how they have done it, but I've only heard the bell once or twice in the 6 years that I've been doing chemo. I wouldn't put it past my fabulous nurses to carefully plan on bell ringing for when there are no Stage 4s around.

    When I do hear it, it makes me sad. Not just for me. The bell ringing indicates that treatment is over; cancer is never coming back. And we all know that just isn't true.

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
    edited October 2018

    Some of the responses to the article were things like “people are too sensitive” and “life sucks sometimes”. They hurt. We aren’t talking about hurt feelings.. we are taking about living with a terminal diagnosis. A tad different.

    I’ll be really honest.. when I was still a stage 2 person, I didn’t get it. I just truly hope that during that time I didn’t say or do anything that causedanyone else any pain. It was truly unintentional.

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 382
    edited October 2018

    I was offered the bell at the end of radiation after my stage iv diagnosis. The tech asked me and I remember my exact response which was “absolutely not”. Why would I?

  • marylark
    marylark Member Posts: 178
    edited October 2018

    I was offered the bell after I finished a very difficult course of radiation and I started to cry. However I don't begrudge anyone a moment of happiness in this nightmare. I pray it is finally over for the person.

  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited October 2018

    Neither hospital that has treated me for breast cancer has had a bell, or anything else to acknowledge the end of early stage breast cancer treatment beyond a good luck from the nursing staff, and perhaps a hug. Ringing bells is right up there with dancing with boas and dressing up in pink costumes, "celebrating" breast cancer.

    *susan*

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited October 2018

    Mary lark,

    I’m with you on that. I wish those folks every moment of happiness regardless of what the future holds. My future may be limited, but I have no problem with celebrating the good fortune of others

  • Larkin
    Larkin Member Posts: 58
    edited October 2018

    No bells or ceremonies at my center. I like it that way

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited October 2018

    My chemo was Abraxane with Herceptin and Perjeta and on 5/29 was my last abraxane which I had looked forward to so much. I was feeling celebratory and asked a nurse if I ring a bell when it’s over (like I’d seen on tv), she said “no dear, you’ll keep coming to treatment every 3 weeks for the H&P” (she wasn’t mean but I found the stark reality a real letdown). A few months later, and after many discussions with other lifers and a more thorough understanding of stage IV, treatments, stats and losing bco members, I heard those bells again. This time I shed a few tears for myself (feeling sad and a little sour) and for them because I realized many of them really think they won, it’s over but WE know how quickly it can change.

  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 1,603
    edited October 2018

    By the time I was finished all I wanted to do was ring someone’s neck for having to have chemo.

    ;))))))

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited October 2018

    Yes, when I heard that bell I also felt something along the lines of, “And may you never have to find yourself back here.” I wondered if that person knew the real state of things in cancerland

  • TwinkleCat
    TwinkleCat Member Posts: 85
    edited October 2018

    I was offered to ring the bell after I finished whole brain radiation, and I took it! (I was so glad to be done!) Even though I'll never be done with treatment, it did feel like a little victory to finish WBRT.

  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited October 2018

    No bells at my hospital either but I wouldn't object to them. If it makes someone feel good, or that they've accomplished something, more power to them! I LIKE for other people to feel happy. Just because we know they might be back in the chair someday is no reason to rain on their parade.

    Twinklecat, I'm all for your ringing the bell finishing WBR. You accomplished something difficult! Illimae, they should have let you ring the bell. Grrrr.

    I feel sorry for the people who spend a lot of time worrying the cancer will come back. If it does, it does. Worrying isn't going to prevent it. I'd rather they rang the bell and went on with their lives. Can you tell I'm a fatalist?

    I try hard not to be resentful of the people who are doing better than I, or who never find themselves in the chair again. Mostly I'm successful. Mostly.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited October 2018

    pajim,

    👍👍

  • minxie
    minxie Member Posts: 484
    edited October 2018

    I rang the bell for my last chest radiation last month - why not? I know I've got many more treatments ahead of me, but at least that one is over

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