Did reconstruction helped you recover from trauma of BC

Dhanno I am over a year out and still have not done nipples (too hot for surgery and I dont have a/c - maybe I will in Nov)...reconstruction is long....

Dhanno I am not sure if having reconstructed breasts eased any memory for me...I still struggle, but it isnt what it was in May 2017 at diagnosis. When I see myself in clothes or out of clothes I know I have had breast cancer and reconstruction - so for me it has just been a process to "accept" how life has changed and accept anxiety about the future. I always have somewhat of a belt around my chest type feeling BUT it has improved a lot since last year, and I hope it continues to. I think if you are considering reconstruction and you are safe to proceed, Dhanno you can get through it and there are options out there to choose how you want to reconstruct. I think the worst part for me were the expanders...I like my reconstructed foobs but they don't 100% feel like they are a part of me...I am expecting everything to improve as time moves forward.

Dhanno-I think it's very individualized. Some women feel recon makes them whole again and others not so much. If you're feeling low about it you likely fall in the former category. I do think that the Natural tissue reconstruction gets you as close to the originals as possible. If your goal is warm, soft, natural looking and feeling breasts, that's the way to go. I had DIEP and it was 100% worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I am going to throw my opinion in on this just as an alternative viewpoint.  I had TEs in and honestly, it felt foreign and was a constant reminder of my BC.  Some women say that even after they transistion to implants, it still feels foreign and uncomfortable - or makes them sick, etc.  The multiple surgeries as well reminds you of what you are going through.  I ended up removing the TEs and got a revision to become perfectly flat.  Suddenly my body felt 100% normal again and people seemed to just think I lost weight - I got lots of compliments on my new clothing choices.  I was too thin for autologous tissue from my stomach / thighs - and would never use my healthy back muscles for mounds on my chest, so I declined. 

I understand you are a Uni - which makes the asymmetry another factor and I understand why you'd want to be symmetrical - I would too.  I made the choice to have my healthy breast removed since both were dense and hiding tumors... so that is how I went symmetrical.  There are always options - many of them.   Some options - such as going flat - aren't even discussed as true options (at least my Plastics guy never once said it was a possibility).  

I have huge regrets for doing a uni LD flap. My instinct was to not reconstruct, but I was convinced by my PS that I'd be recovered in 8 weeks. She's a big proponent of reconstruction as a means of emotional healing. I also didn't want to hassle with mastectomy bras and a prosthesis bc I'm a competitive figure skater and also perform in shows, so I went forward with the surgery.

The LD flap has left me in severe chronic discomfort. The PS also did a lift on my native side, which ended up masking an aggressive new primary tumor. That tumor quickly spread to my brain.

Since I'm now stage IV, the drs are debating whether to do another mx or not. If they do, I will be lopsided, with an horrifically uncomfortable mound on the other side. I'd give anything to be totally flat at this point, but the flap can't be undone.

So in my case, reconstruction ruined my daily existence and basically led to me becoming stage IV. My story is obviously extreme, but I wanted to put it out there. Lots of women have great experiences and love their foobs, however.

Dhanno, I have not finished with my surgeries, it has been 15 months post initial surgery. It's hard living half done and in my case, I am getting ready to re-do it all over again...

I was never really flat, I was pretty lopsided in the beginning and it was tricky getting dressed and what to stick inside my bra. I had immediate TE placement at the time of mastectomy (unilateral). I have switched to permanent implant 10 mo ago, it is still uncomfortable (it's uneven, cold, it pulls on my muscles, I have to be in a bra 24/7 - and that's a huge success story - no infections, no encapsulation. and I doubt it will ever feel ok. But it is great for strangers, people who don't know what happened, don't suspect anything. People who do know what happened are so HAPPY for me when they see that I appear to have 2 breasts and if I dare say something about discomfort they get offended and how ungreatful I am. So, the implant is not really for me, it's for them. My own experience is that I did see a woman with one large breast and I was pretty uncomfortable with the view even though I was at the breast cancer conference and you expect that sort of thing.

Maybe ask yourself who the reconstruction is really for. Is it ok looking at yourself in the mirror? Some women say it looks beautiful with just one breast. Is it just about clothes? There must be a way to look good with the prosthesis (except the swimsuit, but hey I wear a rash guard anyways, so nobody can see). If you are considering an implant, is it ok to have a foreign object inside of you?. Are you sensitive? Some women say they don't feel it, it's great and worth it to them. I think of it this way, if you ever seriously considered implants for breast enlargement, then implant reconstruction is for you. But if you thought "yikes, fake breasts...what must it feel like to have them inside of me...", then think twice. The plastic surgery field will try to convince you to go with implants, that's current medical practice.

When you see a plastic surgeon, ask how long does it take to get from initial surgery to looking like his pictures in the picture book. Ask how many procedures each option requires and about upkeep. And ask him/her realistic time frame, not just if everything is going well. Because the final healing time for skin is 3 years!. So you may be done in a few months sporting bright red scars. Is that done to you? Would not be to me. And just know that you will never look like that picture in the picture book, better if real women show you what it really looks like. One plastic surgeon has told me that if we don't get in at the time of initial mastectomy, women just don't come back. Must be really cutting in on his business.

I personally would like to give it one last try and see if I can be fixed with a DIEP.

Yes, to answer your question. I believe reconstruction did help me to recover emotionally. I had no desire for reconstruction as I was petrified of surgery. However, after my single mastectomy, I felt very lopsided and irritated with a constantly shifting knitted knocker (although the women who knit them are fantastic!). The scar from my first mastectomy was very tight and uncomfortable. I started reading the DIEP thread here from 2013 and almost every one of those ladies said it was tough but that they would do it again, so I looked into it and scheduled the surgery. Looking forward to it did give me something to focus on that was a positive. I had complications from revision (blood clot), but I can honestly say that I would do it all over again. I didn’t do it for the vanity as much as just wanting to feel and look “normal.” For some people being flat and avoiding surgery is normal for them. I really thought that would be me, but I am very happy that I changed my mind and did the reconstruction. I didn’t realize until afterwards how much it helped me emotionally. However, it is a long process, so that is something to consider, as well. Good luck with your decision.

it’s nice when clothes start fitting again. You start to feel more normal. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt just when we did the expanders

I had a uni MX in 12/2015. I was absolutely certain I would never want reconstruction at the time of the MX. Losing my breast was so incredibly devastating. After I took some time to physically/emotionally heal and complete chemo (5/2016), I started to reconsider that decision. I absolutely HATED having to wear the prosthetic breast and not wearing it wasn't an option. I was completely flat on one side and a D cup on the other. I met with my PS for the first time in 8/2016. He explained all of my options to me thoroughly. I decided to go with the DIEP flap reconstruction because I was worried about putting anything foreign in my body (if anyone can have a reaction to something it's ALWAYS me). I had my DIEP surgery in 2/2017. Hands down the best decision I ever made. It's so nice to have two semi-normal looking breasts again. And a bonus flat tummy. Although, it will never be the same as it was before, it is so much better than my lopsidedness. Hope this helps you in some small way.

Breast reconstruction during this whole process for me was actually something that kept me going and optimistic, as crazy as that may sound. But I have a really good rapport with my reconstruction surgeon and I think that is so important. I’ve been through it all with her since my double mastectomy- she had been a lifeline for me.

For me it’s making me feel whole again on some level. Certainly it’s not the be all and end all, so many facets to recovery on all levels.

Choose your reconstruction surgeon wisely and her office team. Much of how you are treated walking in the door to nurses and up to your surgeon will tell you a lot!

Do not fear reconstruction if that’s what you want!

Good question! I have to say, I really don’t know. I also was supposed to have immediate reconstruction, then IDC was found and I had to do chemo, so I was half flat for a year. Flat on one side, DD on the other. I figured things out with prosthetics and scarves, but followed through with my recon plan. I think having a restorative plan helped me through the misery of chemo. I’m glad I did it, but I think feeling better overall and doing what I used to do is helping me deal with the trauma more than the new breast is. And trying to help others with BC.

I'm going for dmx with immediate implants soon at some point in October myself. I was ready to go flat before I knew about the immediate implants being done locally but I also knew I was going to have a really hard time with it mentally. I was triple DDD  at the time of the flat decision which was the first choice before I got more info about what was available here (now due to exercising regularly  with light weights I'm DD) and the difference between the huge boob chesty to flat no boob chesty would have devestated me to a point where I'm not sure I would have recovered from no matter what stage of cancer I'm at.

That's not to say I'm not prepared as I have bulky cardigans and thin scarves to cover should the worst happen and they can't place the implants but when I found out I had a choice between reconstruction and none I chose reconstruction because at 44 I'm not ready to lose the only thing that identifies my gender. I don't need much just enough to say I have cleavage under my clothes which is why I asked for a full B or small C. This is what I can live with. Who knows. My useless body may reject the implants and I will end up flat anyways but at least I will know I tried.

I think no matter what your choice BC and enduring all the different treatments for it whether it's early stage or late stage  is going to be very traumatic. A person has to chose what they feel will help them get through to the other side of it all. it's different for every person. 

For me knowing I tried even if it fails is what is going to help me face everything else I'm losing because of this cancer. It's not much but it's something to hold on to, at least for now.

Blessed be.