The Beast & Me: Round Two

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  • Rosemary44
    Rosemary44 Member Posts: 2,660
    edited February 2007
    Gina,

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Rosemary
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  • MargaretB
    MargaretB Member Posts: 1,305
    edited February 2007
    Gina, I am so sorry you have to go through this again. We will kick this cancer a$$ with you. By the volume of posts, you can see how inspirational, loved, and special you are to us. I can't answer your questions on Gemzar as I had AC and my reconstruction was a free tram but I can be there to support you however I can.

    Margaret
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  • fancy2
    fancy2 Member Posts: 162
    edited February 2007
    Quote:

    Apparently, once we get dx'd with BC we are at high risk for getting it again as a new primary- which is what I have.



    Ain't it a pup? You go through all the hell we do to get cured, only to find out that the cure causes the disease! Grrrrr!!!


    Quote:

    I am still trying to absorb this. Trying to stay ahead of the fear. When fear starts crawling up my spine i get mad- MAD that I have to do this again. But I am SO MUCH smarter now....I am not the little dim wit I was five years ago who didn't understand a friggin word my new onc said to me.



    Yup. Me too. I got so mad. I could have chewed up nails and spit out paper clips. Mad is good. It's much better than cowed and submissive which is what I was last time.


    Quote:

    Can't take cytoxan again because of my bad reaction so finding a good tonic water to mix my chemo cocktail with will be fun. My onc mentioned gemzar- does anyone know anything about any of these things that they would like to share?



    I sent you a pm. FWIW, very early stage ILC often does not need chemo. Before you do gemzar + ??? I would get a second opinion. Deal is, you can only have each cocktail once. If you have early stage ILC now, and use Gemzar, you may need it a LOT worse later. That's why I escaped chemo. ILC responds VERY well to AI's. Apparently, better than to chemo. But you'll have to find an onc that listens to folks and doesn't just follow the yellow brick road. I had to fire three of them before I found THE ONE.

    And FWIW, ILC is "sized" by the diameter of the largest single tumor, NOT the aggregate size. That's important. In my case, it was the dif between 3.5cm and 1.6cm. That also helped buy me out of chemo. The first onc (and chairman of the dept he was) didn't know that simple fact.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2007

    NS...I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this crap all over again, especially when you've reached the 5-year mark that makes us think we're 'safe'...apparently a false hope in the case of bc, but we do cling to it nevertheless. I recall all of your helpful and supportive posts as I was going through my treatments. Please stick with us here so that we can give back to you!

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  • missesbeames
    missesbeames Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2007

    I'm sorry about your new diagnosis. you soound strong though, and I will be thinking and praying for you for strength during your new treatments and surgery, take care, Joan

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2007
    ns -
    I am so very sorry you have endure this! Fight makes right...your signature sums it up...Lobular that's er+ is one of the better ones to have (I've become somewhat of a Lob. expert). Hang in there, everyone is cheering you on.
    Laura
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  • NancyM
    NancyM Member Posts: 289
    edited February 2007
    Dear, dear NS...I have to admit, I burst into tears when I read about your results. But then I remembered all of the things you told the June '05 group (which was basically, to stop sniveling and get to work) so I blew my nose and sat up straight in my chair....and realized this WIMPY WIMPY WIMPY bc that you have is NO MATCH for a woman of your strength and character!

    You beat the aggressive triple negative hands down! So what does this low-life dumb-as* bc think it's going to do?? Nothing, that's what! It's going to go bye-bye and never show itself AGAIN!! KICK BUTT SWEETHEART!!!!!

    Much love,
    Nancy
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  • jackie11
    jackie11 Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2007
    NS

    I am so sorry to hear this news. This dam disease!
    You are such a fighter and I know you will beat it. You inspire me and so many here on these boards.

    Thank you for always being here for all of us. Let us be here for you now.

    Take care and I will be fighting along with you!!

    Jackie
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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited February 2007
    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this sh** again. It truly is not fair. From reading your posts I know you are a feisty one and you will show this beast the door and kick it's ass on the way out.

    Take care,
    Bugs
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2007
    I'm so sorry to hear this news. Lke you once told me, YOU CAN DO THIS!

    We are here for you...
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  • vickib
    vickib Member Posts: 1,184
    edited February 2007

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited February 2007
    Well, crap.

    I know you are strong enough to kick this to the curb again but am sorry that you have to go through it.

    Take care,
    Kari
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  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited February 2007
    ~~G~~

    I am so sorry
    to hear this

    You will no doubt
    kick this beast to the curb

    AS you can see
    you have many supporters
    around here

    We are with you
    in spirit and heart
    xo
    Patti
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  • Wendy6
    Wendy6 Member Posts: 4
    edited February 2007
    (((((NS))))) - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this crap!!! No doubt in my mind that you will kick Cancer's A** but I wish you didn't have to. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Hugs!
    Wendy
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  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2007
    {{{{NS}}}} damn that stinks! I know you'll kick this bc to the curb the way you did your last one! Good thoughts being sent your way.
    Hugs
    Erica
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  • lizk37
    lizk37 Member Posts: 31
    edited February 2007
    (((G))) so sorry to hear this! I am sure that you will beat the beast!

    Hugs & prayers sent your way,
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  • LaurieL
    LaurieL Member Posts: 88
    edited February 2007
    I am soooo sorry you'll have to do this again. Since I did 2 cycles of A/C and my tumor grew and had a bad reaction with Taxotere, I ended up with 3 cycles of combined Gemzar and Cisplatin and 3 cyles of just Gemzar. If this helps at all, I didn't think the Gemzar is as bad as I felt the A/C was. And... the nurses told me not to be surprised if my hair started growing back while in Gemzar because Gemzar doesn't affect the hair as much as the AC/T!!!! And it did start growing back in... so as little as this might count, you may not lose your hair!!!So that's at least a positive!

    Hang in there. We'll be here for you.
    Laurie
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  • CoffeePot
    CoffeePot Member Posts: 34
    edited February 2007
    Add me to the many here who have been so totally inspired by you and now, who is extremely angry that you have to go thru this again. You are such an inspiration and have been that to me since I joined. I know I'll continue to be amazed and inspired by your strength as you conquer it once again.

    Stay strong, Gina, you can do it!
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  • watergirl
    watergirl Member Posts: 34
    edited February 2007
    I think everyone has said it, but it is absolutely necessary to say again.....ARRGGGGGG, Cancer Sucks!!!!
    I'm so sorry your going for round two.

    I agree with fancy2 about wondering whether you actually need chemo. Since you are hormone positive this time can't you get the ncontype or the maybe even just approved MammaPrint genetic test to see if you actually need chemo. Unlike triple negative, hormone postive bc in general doesn't seem to respond well to chemo (one study showed pCrs between the two as 43% vs 14% respectively).

    It just isn't right that you have to go through this aggain. I'm sending all my positive vibes your way for the tests to follow.
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  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 426
    edited February 2007
    Oh G...I can't even curse, that's how dumbfounded I am...I'm so sorry. I'm only a phone call away...and I've been on Gemzar since last August, so I can tell you all about that, too (more doable than AC/T and others for me)...but hopefully the new primary will respond to AI's if it does turn out to be ER+...

    I hope Dad is still staying with you?

    You'll be in my prayers...Mena...xo
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  • katie11
    katie11 Member Posts: 2,514
    edited February 2007
    NS,

    So sorry to hear that you have to start going through this again. Just think of all the knowledge you have that will help you get on with your treatment. I haven't had Gemzar, but just wanted to wish you all the best and say that we are all here for you.

    Katiexx
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  • trixiegram
    trixiegram Member Posts: 126
    edited February 2007
    Gina,

    Sorry you have to fight the beast again but my money is on you dear. The prayers and healing vibes are already being sent your way by mulitudes here on the boards in addition to those in your non - cyber world.

    In My Thoughts and Prayers,
    Niki
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  • BMD
    BMD Member Posts: 1,492
    edited February 2007

    NS-You have been an inspiration to me from the beginning. I just felt sick to hear your news. Well we will all be here for you. Tons of hugs.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2007
    g, just want you to know that my heart is grieving for you. You are strong and you will continue to be vigilant and fight the good fight. Know how much you are loved and how many are praying for you.

    Sherry
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  • jz20022001
    jz20022001 Member Posts: 480
    edited February 2007
    NoSurrender, I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this again. Hang in there!

    Catherine
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited February 2007
    Sweet G,
    I still have a lump in my throat and an empty feeling in my stomach after reading your news. It will be ok...we will circle you with love and support and carry you through. If I could take it away for you I would...in a second.
    Love
    Vickie
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  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008
    NS- this news is the pits... of course, if anyone can kick the shit out of cancer times two, it's you...
    keep us posted on what the next steps are.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2007
    NS, darn, what can I say that the others have already said.
    You'll do this. You're post was so strong. BC doesn't know who it's fighting with. You go girl!
    Shirley
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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited February 2007
    This EvilBeast has tried to pick a fight with the wrong woman! After a miserable showing in its first appearance, still here it comes looking for a re-match. I predict a KO in the first round!
    More Power to ya, grrrl!

    Lisa
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited February 2007
    WOW what awesome back up I have!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

    I have a bit of an update.
    I met with my new BS tonight.
    According to him, the path states that two of the three tumors are IDC and one is lobular. THAT is nuts. ( I am saying that- he isn't!)
    I need to have the masts within two weeks.
    I need to be re-staged so I get a PET/CT scan, brain mri and he added a bone scan.
    He also got out the dreaded sharpies to mark my inscisions from the cores and I have to keep them on because that skin has to be removed too.

    OK- I will say it. It hit me in his office when he said he didn't need to see my films. Of course he doesn't if he is taking off my breasts! I discovered something about myself tonight, I am vain. I really didn't realize how attached I was to my breasts and this hurts. But then I think about the fact that one is filled with cancer and I get over it a little!

    He said expanders- not immediate implants. He said eight hours on the table!! That scares me because I have trouble with anesthesia. I am toying with the idea of just doing the right one now and then the left in a couple of months.

    He also wants my ovaries out.

    I think I am a little overwhelmed right now. BUT I am still PLENTY PISSED so if the Beast is reading this- my guard is not down... and it won't be anytime soon!

    Love,g
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