43 and Diagnosed This Morning

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maiyen
maiyen Member Posts: 81
edited May 2018 in Just Diagnosed

I had a pretty good idea that the core biopsy results were going to come back malignant as the radiologist gave me hints without straight up telling me, but anticipating and actually receiving a cancer diagnosis is still shocking. I don't know anything other than the mass that was biopsied is IDC and the suspicious lymph node biopsy came back benign. I'm supposed to learn more this afternoon when I meet with my doctor to go over my path report.

My mom passed away from BC several years ago and the physicians at that time royally screwed things up with her so I'm overly cautious with my own health. Is it wrong to want to see someone other than who my doctor recommends - so far she's given me names for surgeons, but shouldn't I see an oncologist first? Is an NCI designated cancer center overkill since I've been told that my cancer has been caught early (my mom was told the same thing and then diagnosed as terminal a year later). I don't want to seem as if I'm paranoid, but I want to be able to sleep at night knowing that I'm seeing a great team of specialists (and how do you even find this great team?).

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  • randrgirl
    randrgirl Member Posts: 83
    edited May 2018

    maiyen- you do not sound paranoid. I’m sorry that you find yourself here. This is a life changing experience I wish on no one. That’s said, you are your own best advocate when it comes to treatment decisions for your cancer. It’s not bad to seek second or even third opinions— whatever you feel is best as well as to have more than one person possibly saying the same thing helps making treatment decisions. I go to a national cancer center. I wanted to be treated at a place where cancer was the focus. Also, where research is at the forefront when it comes to treatment options.

    In short, there is no wrong answer when it comes to you doing what is best for you!

    I wish you the best as you prepare for treatment. Keep coming to this site for support. There are many knowledgeable folks in this community who will be happy to answer any questions you may have as you prepare for treatment.

    In themeantime, keep your chin up. You are not alone. ♥️

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited May 2018

    Sorry you received this news today. I sent you a PM. Hugs.....

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  • Mquara
    Mquara Member Posts: 85
    edited May 2018

    My mother was diagnosed with stage IV BC when she was 51, she passed away just after she turned 54. She was the only person in my entire family, both sides, that had BC. Until me. I was diagnosed last year just before my 47th birthday. Naturally I was anxious, frantic and my thoughts went to my mom and dying.

    I opted to go to CTCA and fly there for treatment. It was the best decision I ever made. We flew out 7 times last year. I just switched to Philly which is in driving distance because our insurance changed.

    I have a local cancer center 15 minutes away. I did go there for rads. I am 1 hour outside of NYC, there's some seriously top notch cancer centers right here. I went where I felt most comfortable.

    There is no overkill with cancer. No overreacting. No way to have expectations that are too high when it comes to your care. There's the physical aspect of cancer but there also the mental/emotional aspect as well. You do what you need to do to take care of all of it. (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

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  • maiyen
    maiyen Member Posts: 81
    edited May 2018

    Thank you all for sharing your thoughts...and hugs back to you.

    Mquara, sorry to hear of your mom's passing. My mom was diagnosed at an early stage when she was 55, at 56 she was diagnosed at stage IV and given 6 months to live and then passed 7 months later. It is hard not to think of the experiences that our moms went through as we go embark on our own.

    I had a pointless afternoon appointment with my OBGYN who told me over the phone that she had details from the path report, which she preferred to provide in person, but she really didn't have as the results are still pending. I kind of felt like she just wanted to bill me for a doctor's visit and take advantage of the appt so she could try to refer me to her husband who is a surgeon. I did mention the possibility of wanting to travel to see a specialist and she said that IDC was so common that it wasn't necessary and if it was her, she would stay in Austin for treatment. So thank you for making me feel like I'm not overreacting.

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited May 2018

    Sorry about your Mom. You are not overreacting. There are no right/wrong answers because it’s your call. After all it’s not one size, fits all.

    One thing I would definitely do is see a breast surgeon - not just a surgeon. I wanted one who specialized in breast cancer.

    I saw my BS first and then my oncologist. Once the surgery is prescribed the oncologist then decides the treatment.

    Good luck.

    Diane

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  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited May 2018

    Isn't it a conflict of interest to refer someone to your spouse doctor? Maybe it isn't, I don't know.

    Sorry about your bad news. I saw a surgeon first then was referred to oncology after surgery. A lot rides on what your pathology report says... sometimes they give chemo before surgery but the surgeon you see should have a grasp on whether or not you should be sent to oncology first.

    I saw a local general surgeon who does a lot of breast surgery. She did a great job. She's now in the process of becoming just a breast surgeon. So yes a specialist, but there are some good general surgeons out there too.

    The beginning is quite a whirlwind but you will get through it!!

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  • rdeesides
    rdeesides Member Posts: 459
    edited May 2018

    I would get a second opinion at MD Anderson no matter what since you are close enough to drive down there. But that's just me. No matter what you do, getting a second opinion is not a bad idea.

    Hang in there.

    Rebekah

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  • Tess1962
    Tess1962 Member Posts: 29
    edited May 2018

    I just had surgery last week. I got a 2nd opinion at MD Anderson but they confirmed my diagnosis and they knew and liked my assigned surgeon. It is your body and your cancer. Get as many opinions as you want and can afford.

    It is normal to see the surgeon first and then Oncology because the surgeon will have your tumor tested several different ways and also order the heredity blood testing which will be part of your treatment path.

    I am one week post surgery. Dealing with lymphedema in my left arm. Starting PT on Monday for that.

    So many roads leading to the end destination.

    Hugs and prayers and love coming your way.

    Teresa

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  • bella2013
    bella2013 Member Posts: 489
    edited May 2018

    Maiyen,

    I second the suggestion to go to MD Anderson. I went to their cancer center here in Jacksonville. I loved my cancer team and my nurse navigator. I loved the team approach...everyone was on the same page regarding my treatment plan.

    There is no such thing as a “common” breast cancer. Ten women could have IDC and each would have their own treatment plan different from one another. The size of the breast cancer tumor, the location of the tumor in the breast, the stage of the cancer, the grade of the tumor all go into deciding your surgery and treatment plan.

    It makes me want to scream that a female gynecologist would have such a cavalier attitude about where to go to get treatment. She should be your advocate and pave the way with a referral to MD Anderson or another breast cancer center.

    I just can’t say enough about the team approach. If you have to find your own surgeon and your own MO and your own RO and your own PS...ugh...that is such hard work when you are navigating new territory in your breast cancer journey.

    I wish you the best results and sending hugs as you proceed

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2018

    Maiyen, I'm so glad that you posted on this site. I would definitely find a breast surgeon and wouldn't involve your ob/gyn. And yes, it is a big conflict in interest for her if she suggests her husband. Take care, post here often and we will hold your hand the entire time.

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  • maiyen
    maiyen Member Posts: 81
    edited May 2018

    Thank you everybody for your advice and support!

    I have appointments with a genetic counselor, surgical oncologist and oncologist at UT Health San Antonio MD Anderson Cancer Center next week. Will start there and then figure out where to get a second opinion.

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited May 2018

    hello sweetie I was diagnosed at 42 while making wedding plans for our 2nd marriages I didn't want to go into marriage with one breast but my fiancee now husband encouraged me to do mastectomy which I agreed so I didn't worry bout recurrence. I am now this yr a 24yr Survivor Praise God it is a individual choice. But here u will get best advice. ms Phil idc stage 2 0/3 nodes 3mo chemo before n after L mastectomy got married then 7wks rads 5 yrs on Tamoxifen. God Bless Us All.

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  • ajh123
    ajh123 Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2018

    Mquara - I'm new at this. What/where is CTCA?

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  • Peregrinelady
    Peregrinelady Member Posts: 1,019
    edited May 2018
    Cancer Treatment Centers of America located I think in Arizona and Oklahoma and maybe another location. There have been both positive and negative reviews here.
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  • Mquara
    Mquara Member Posts: 85
    edited May 2018

    CTCA is in Chicago, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Phoenix and Tulsa. I have been treated at Chicago and now Philly. I’m not pushing that place, that’s just where I opted to go after hearing first hand experiences and now I have my own first hand experience. Many people with negative reviews have never stepped foot in the place lol.

    My point was I went where I knew I had to be and it was not convenient at all. I flew for treatment because I knew what they had to offer and how they handle everything was something I personally needed. Patients need to go where they feel like they are getting the best care possible, no matter what type or stage of cancer.

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