In denial, having anxiety and how do I tell people?

Telling people was very hard for me. I realized it's so easy to share good news, and so difficult to share bad news. The people I saw daily, well, I let them know pretty easily. Others' I called or set up phone times, but that was unusual enough behavior that they got worried before I said a word. And then there were people like old coworkers or college/HS folks who were good friends but just didn't see regularly. I wanted them to know but I just didn't know how to share the news. I'm not the type to post something like this on Facebook, though I don't have a problem with people who do. It's hard to share struggles and real life sometimes, and I say you should do it however it feels right/easy for you. No matter what, the news will be troubling, sharing may be hard, but the support will be immense. Far more than you realize.

One tends to go into shell-shock and saying that you have cancer out loud, intensifies the anxiety/depression. However, people will cope. Trying to travel this path alone is worse. Your fears and tears need warm hugs, a listening ear and a soft place to fall. If it were your best friend that had b.c., wouldn't you want to know and provide loving hugs and support? of course. You deserve no less. ((((HUGS))))

I told pretty much everybody right away. I put on my social media pages, and I also told a few friends personally & asked them to tell others. I gave a couple people in the family the task of telling all the relatives and spreading the word. I did not want to receive phone calls & so I told people that & asked them to make sure everyone knew. Email, text, messenger, mail is all fine but I don't like phone calls.

For me, I didn't see any reason to keep it secret. It is what it is. I pretty much tell anyone who looks remotely interested, neighbours, people in my regular grocery store etc. I haven't had any negative experiences from this. People have been nice.

As far as the waiting game, I have been meditating on & off for years and I ramped up my meditation during this time. If you're new to meditation, check out the guided beginner meditations on Tara Brach's website. Also consider seeing a counselor. It's good to have an impartial person who is not family who can just listen to all your anger and fears in an accepting way.

best wishes to you.

I didn’t keep it a secret but I didn’t shout it from the rooftops either. My SIL had BC at the time so it was just another family member who drew the unlucky card

I shared my story and fears with a few people who were my lifelines. Of course I told my husband and son too. My son took it really hard. I kept my game face on mainly to keep him from being more afraid even though I was pretty scared myself.

I had a neighbor who was the town crier. She told anyone who would listen. Not her story to tell. People of course were sympathetic but it was awkward.

This isn’t a one size, fits all decision. You do what’s best for you. My sister was DX a year after me and a very close to the vest person. In fact she didn’t tell the family for months. She lives in another state. To each his own.

I think when and if you decide to share your DX be prepared for all kinds of responses and try not to judge people by their reactions. You are frightened - they are too. There is no scripted response except maybe I’m sorry. Nothing more, nothing less except how can I help you?

I belong to a BC group at church and that’s helpful when you can compare notes with people dealing with the same disease.

FYI I am 7 years out this August.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Diane