Diagnosed 3 days ago...seems like weeks

Welcome to the club nobody wants to join! I felt as you do about telling people. I was selective about who I told. Boss? Yes. Siblings? Yes. Facebook? No. I decided early on that I didnt want to be the subject of gossip and random memes. My Sunday School class was amazing--they brought food to us for 5 months as I went through multiple surgeries and chemo.

Interestingly, my siblings and my mother totally dropped the ball. They all live at least a day's drive away, so I never expected them to drop everything to take care of me. But their reactions were incomprehensible. My brother called me several times, literally crying about how I couldn't die, he needs his sister. I finally had to stop taking his calls. My three sisters just dropped off the face of the earth, except for occasional text messages. And my mother...God love her...her response was to tell me all the stories of her friends who had breast cancer. Every story ended with "and she DIED!" Yeah, thanks, mom. Had to stop talking to her for a while, too.

Serious illness will show you who your real supports are. I love my mother and my siblings, but they sucked at cancer support. So, I didn't lean on them.We still have close relationships, but we don't talk about cancer. I come here to talk about the cancer experience.

Try out some of the boards. I'm on the fast moving Lumpectomy board. It's a great group of ladies. Come on over and check us out

Hi Patsy,

Welcome, and sorry you have found your way to this community. I was diagnosed late Jan this year and went through similar feelings to you. I put off telling anyone until I knew more about my diagnosis. When I decided it was time to tell my adult children, I wrote them a letter and attached a photo of my results so they could google it if they wanted and sent it all as a text so they got it at the same time. I did that on a Friday night so they had the weekend to get over the shock. We caught up over the weekend and were able to talk about it without too many tears.

Hope everything goes smoothly, and you know there are so many knowledgeable people on this site to chat to or compare notes.

Sending a BIG hug

Roo

Patsy--yes BCO is an *amazing* resource. Re: freakouts, I found that they came at odd times, like when I heard I'd be a patient of my BS for five years, or the first time I realized I was entering the hospital through the Cancer Center door. Shed your tears but then buck up and get on with it. Re: sharing the information, this time around was particularly weird for me. I got the dx the day my husband was leaving the country for a week, so I decided not to tell him until he got back. I didn't feel like I could tell anyone before him, so I spent a long, lonely week watching the calendar. And both two years ago and this time I was a couple of weeks away from seeing two of my kids in person, so I waited until they could see me to share the news. I feel like it's all in how you present it--for me it's important not to scare anyone, so I'm very "no big deal, I'll be fine, just may not be a fun couple of weeks/months". I like your friend's song choice! I listened to Imagine Dragons' Radioactive quite a bit when I was in rads--always made me smile. And re: your upcoming trip, if it's in the area I imagine I'm a little jealous! For my 60th last fall I took myself to the American SW, where I had never been. Saw nine National (and two State) Parks in four days--it was jaw-droppingly beautiful. Go and enjoy!!

Patsy:

Chiming in to say, as others have, that you're in the hardest phase of this right now. Once you have a firm treatment plan in place and more information about your diagnosis, it gets a little easier. Really.

You've found the best place for support! I could not have made it through 2017 without these folks.

Ask any and all questions.Someone will answer.

{hugs}