Thinking of MomAllTheTime and Dani

What beautiful and kind words and genteel feelings. When I read what you write i feel like i am being lulabyed (my word).

All the pomp and ceremony done with. The last day Thursday, i thought we gonna head home right away, but then my trio (DS and DDs) found their way to D's studio, where she worked on her past accessories business, where she has been formulating her own recipe book, she has been trying her new recipes on us, anyway they touched her guitar and i stepped back, and they stayed reminiscing for another few hours. There is so much void. Whenever one of us wanted a straight up opinion, to D we turned. I'm a little crazy when it comes to these things, i asked my DD to pin her whatsapp so i could always see her and her stuff. What if i tell you, just a couple of months ago, i threw out my father's medical records, he passed 15 yrs ago. My hubby is a saint. Wait till we get to go to her home and go through stuff. I'll probably get a truck. She was the opposite of me. I kept a Coca Cola bottle, you know the ones they recreated from the 70's, D wanted me to throw it out, we worked out some type of compromise.

You say she wanted to spare us, yeah, i could see that. I was upset that the paramedics had to see her not at her best. I'm still scared she is angry with me for that. Gosh, she hated us to be busy with her. So so young. She left little notes for the kids, but they put it in a box and we don't know what it says. Right after they found out, they each went to get their lockets they have from her, she had taken a picture with each one separately and gave it to them. They don't take if off, it's very sweet to see that. No words expressed but things they do. Well, today they went on a shopping spree with my girls, for some stuff that mom did not get from the internet. The UPS guy was devastated, he KNEW her!! The woman that comes twice a week, changed her job schedule to be at the house a whole week. All their friends are organizing meals for months and months ( i hate the cooking, so im really glad). And the high-schoolers are volunteering to come over to do homework with them. Hopefully it would be a good match, their math is at a level that is over my head that's for sure. Otherwise it would be very hard, one DD could make it once a week, the other one would come home earlier another day also, so that's helpful. You know all the little things that mom does. SIL is a gr8 father, but with work, we'll see. His boss came by, we all told him separately how awesome he was to give SIL so much time off, or when he needed to be late etc...(of course he knew what was going on), those special gestures.

Thank you for the offering of the letters, i just don't know where they are at right now.

It feels very weird that D is not here, and we are moving on. Yep, survivor guilt. Well it's the truth. Believe me we are brushing our teeth, but it's just wrong.

I'll check the threads, and see if i could help anyone with my experience. I could write and write but i have pity on you to read on and on, so i'll try to curtail it.

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

Mom,

Continuing to grieve for your entire clan, and certainly continuing to pray day and night.

Now is not the time to be strong. Now is the time to “be held”. Consider yourself constantly held by all of us.

We all love you,

Louis

Mom~ you're beautiful, we love you. I have such a warm feeling in my heart as I read about the lockets. That is such a special treasure close to their hearts always. I am thrilled to hear of the kindness people are showing. So very important for you not to worry about the food aspect. I am sending you huge hugs wrapping you in all of our love, your family is in my thoughts every single day! Thank you for sharing your time with us, and letting us be able to hear how you are doing and the children are doing. It means so much, sending thoughts of strength and sincere thoughts of love. ~M~

love from my family to yours.

Mom-honored by your sharing with us. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts. MJH

MomAtt- love, love is what I feel when I read your words. Dani was blessed to have you as a devoted mother as her girls were blessed to have her. My heart aches for you and her family. She was so brave and fierce wanting to shield and protect everyone else. Her love will carry on through all the lives she has touched. Keeping you in my prayers.

Kay

Mom, I think of you often and hope that you are okay. Nothing can take away your loss and pain. I am not sure that pain such as that you are feeling ever truly goes away. I think it remains deep inside and we find a way to insulate it with good memories. The hole that remains inside our hearts is never healed. It is protected and cushioned by the love and kindness shared by our loved ones and friends. You are and will continue to find positive directions for your life - ways to honor Dani, ways to help your grandchildren and daughters, ways to reach out and help others as you are already doing to your neighbor.

Your granddaughters have suffered a loss that all children fear. They lost the most important person in their lives. They are managing as they must. They have each other and likely find comfort in being able to share their deepest thoughts with one another. I am sure they feel that only they can understand the magnitude of each other's loss. They will always remember their mother's strength and love, and that will help them through bad times. When they are ready, they will reach out to all of you who are there for them.

I saw a commercial for that new series you mentioned, Cured. My jaw dropped when I heard what it was about. It looks like a comedy. I do not plan to watch it.

Thank you for checking in with us again.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne

Mom, if it’s not too much to ask, would you post a picture of your beautiful angel, so that we can think of her and “see” her when we remember her?

I think I would kiss and hug my phone if Dani’s picture appeared on it.

Sunset

She will always remain in my heart! I pray for both of you when I get up in the a.m. and when I go to bed at night. I pray for your whole family to find peace. I know that it will take time, but eventually you will focus on your beautiful memories. Just know that you and your family hold a special place in my heart. Always!

You and Dani will forever be in my heart as well. Your strength to be here now and continue to share continues to amaze me. D.

Mom- Thinking of you and Dani’s family. Give the girls a big hug from your BCO buddies. We love you

momatt. Still keeping you and family in prayers. Was glad to see you posting. Your sincere honest emotions are so real and raw. Hard to read but beautiful.

Momatt, You and your family are still in my prayers! Good going Claire....I have always been involved in animal rescue and I too will donate to the animal shelter in Gatlinburg TN that rescued thousands of dogs, cats, pigs, horses from the fires in Gatlinburg. Also my sweet Willy was on of the first rescued.

Much love!

Robin

Mom, thinking of you and Dani.  My heart is heavy for you.  I know my mother won't be able to handle losing me.  I worry so much about her.  She is not involved in my treatment.  I handle it on my own.  I worry for you as well.  Hope you are getting the rest you need and have distracted yourself with your grandchildren. I hate this disease.  Sending you love and support.  You are one fierce mom!!!