I can no longer provide hope

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LaurenH
LaurenH Member Posts: 389

One of the things that makes me most sad about my stage 4 dx in Feb is that nothing brought me greater joy than popping back into the BC support websites that I used heavily during my dx at least annually (usually on my canverversary) to let people know that this her2+, node +, early 30s at dx girl was x years out from dx without a recur. This past Dec, it was 15 years.

I know I loved seeing those posts when I was originally dx and I was so happy to 'pay it forward.' I am mourning that loss today. ☹️

Comments

  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 518
    edited March 2018

    Lauren- I am so sorry for your new diagnosis, but I just wanted to let you know that for me, 15 Years cancer free DOES provide hope! I am not Her2+, but I do assume mine will come back at some point. My youngest is almost 2, so 5 Years barely gets me to first grade. But 15...well now she’ll be graduating high school. I hope I’m blessed enough to see it. I’m not trying to down play your situation at all, I wouldn’t wish this crap on anyone. And thank you for coming back then And now for updates. But especially for the newly diagnosed who are worried they’re going to die any day, 15 Years is something to hope for. (Hugs

  • Piggy99
    Piggy99 Member Posts: 229
    edited March 2018

    Lauren, I wish you could have continued to live free of cancer to 100 years and more, but you can still provide hope. You are still here, and you still have the same funny, positive personality you always had. And you will be here for a long time still, providing hope that even if a metastatic recurrence does occur, it doesn't mean it's the end.

    I hope that fifteen years from now you will still be on these boards, giving hope to newly diagnosed MBC patients as well as early stage gals.

  • Tracyne
    Tracyne Member Posts: 65
    edited March 2018

    LaurenH,

    You are participating and reaching out which inspires people like me who like to avoid all these cancer treatments.

    We can give hope back to you.

    I’m sorry you have more treatments to face in the near future. But, you know from coming here for such a long time there are newer treatments being developed all the time.

    Sending lots ofhealing vibes your way.

    Tracy

  • LaurenH
    LaurenH Member Posts: 389
    edited March 2018

    PeachyMom, Piggy and Tracy - thanks so much for your response. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I’m especially glad to see that my 15 years cancer-free is still helpful to some - thanks for the PeachyMom. I didn’t think about it that way and I know that I am indeed grateful for those years. During that time, I advanced my career, adopted a son from Vietnam, who is now 11, be there for my mom who died from leukemia, had the opportunity to live and work in Europe with my family for 4 years and a million other great memories!

    With gratitude,

    Lauren

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2018

    ((((((LaurenH)))))) sending you tons of hugs, and much hope for many, many more good years. Yes, people live well with Stage IV. We are all here for you!

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited March 2018

    Lauren, I get that part where you mourn the loss of being able to pay it forward. There is a new chapter now that you begin, and it takes awhile to adjust to a different outlook. You made the most of your fifteen years free of bc, and that is something to feel good about. As you move forward, you will see that you are living with mbc, not dying from it, and there are still good things to experience in your life in spite of mbc. I wish you the best.


  • LaurenH
    LaurenH Member Posts: 389
    edited March 2018

    Thanks Mods and MrsM - so kind of you to comfort me with your insights. I really did enjoy that aspect of surviving breast cancer and I do hope that I can eventually help and encourage others as I start this new chapter.

    Many hugs back to all of you.

  • Tracyne
    Tracyne Member Posts: 65
    edited March 2018

    new chapter Lauren, that’s exactly right, new chapter

    Trac

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