Treatment Worth It?

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AnaMaria34
AnaMaria34 Member Posts: 23

Hi all,

My recurrence was found about a month ago. Still having tests done and haven't started treatment or been offered a concrete plan yet.

I'm depressed. I have been for years, decades even, and I just don't see a reason to "fight". I have no particular goals or purposes. Sure I'd like to explore the world, but I don't have the resources or freedom for that, and if I'm feeling bad, I can only imagine it will be lacking even if I could do it. The last vacation I took was awful because of my depression.

Tried a bunch of meds and tons of therapies including the kinds that aren't legal where I live.

Please, someone, help me figure out or lead me to resources that will concretely help me decide whether i should put myself and my loved ones through this treatment ordeal.

:(


Comments

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2018

    AnaMaria34, we are really sorry to hear how you are feeling, and that you have been battling depression for so long. You are certainly not alone with this. We hear that you have tried many treatments, but believe, and hope that you could still find something that could help you reduce your suffering. Do you have a safe place to express your feelings and anxieties, to be yourself? Do you currently have a therapist, and one that can help you manage your feelings and decisions?

    What kind of resources are you referencing that you feel would help you lift your depression, and be able to help you make the best decisions for your health?

    We're all here for you! The Mods

  • AnaMaria34
    AnaMaria34 Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2018

    Thank you for your response. Believe and hope and risk never finding anything and have suffered in the quest? I guess that's the risk of trying for treatment.

    I do have a therapist and psychiatrist that I see regularly and other people who offer other professional and lay support. It's not enough.

    I am asking if there are professionals who help people make treatment decisions (and not just for cancer, but for navigating life) based on psychological or other issues. Or even books to read that might be helpful. My goal is not to breath for as long as possible. It's to enjoy whatever life I have. And oncologists really can't help me there.

    I just can't see how going through treatment will improve my life. So why extend something that's worse than what I have now, when I don't want to live with what I have now?

    Sorry for all the gloom...

    Thanks

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2018

    AnaMaria34, we are really sorry for all you are going through. Many hospitals now include patient navigators as part of the breast cancer care team. A patient navigator can help you understand and move through the health care system, and offer you support and guidance at any point throughout your care here. Together, you, the nurse navigator, the team social worker, your treatment physicians, and your private therapists should be able to help guide you through the important decisions you need to make to treat not only the cancer, but your depression.
    Have you worked with a nurse navigator before? Have you worked with the social worker in your hospital?

    Also, we're glad you're reaching out here to our Community -- we can assure you, you're not alone in facing these feelings, as many here have managed depression throughout their diagnosis. We know others will be by shortly to help encourage and uplift you. We're all here for you!

    --The Mods

  • SandiBeach57
    SandiBeach57 Member Posts: 1,617
    edited March 2018

    Hello. What helped me was seeing a Palliative Care RN. She was recommended by my Med Onc.

    She allowed me to talk it out, cry and grieve. Yes, I take Celexa and it helped. But really helped me were the discussions on how to lead a different but meaningful life.

    First, I planned a goal or two for each day, then branched out to one weekly goal. For example, taking a bath with Calgon for a daily goal. A weekly goal was to watch a movie at home or go for a short "walk: with my wheelchair/walker. We then moved up to planning monthly goals like attending a grandchild's birth, going out for a meal and joining a book club. It has been over a year since Stage IV dx and my 6 month goal now is planning a 10 week camping trip out west. I now walk many miles a week.

    Small steps. The Palliative Care RN also advised me on sleep and pain medicines. She understood one's helplessness and fear with a Stage IV dx and she gave me a plan and provided hope. Life can be found.

    I wish this for you.

  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited March 2018

    AnaMaria, I am so sorry to read of your depression and progression. I think Sandy offers good advice. And I would like to suggest journaling. Writing down what I feel and think has helped me over the years at various times in my life. One book I read on the matter said to write in the morning at least three pages of unfiltered thoughts, every day when possible. No one will see this, so write away! It helps me sort my thoughts and get in touch with what I'm feeling. Sometimes getting it down on paper is enough to relieve some of the pressures I feel.

    I also don't think one has to live large just because of facing a diagnosis of mbc. I have found plenty of beauty in where I live, and activities that give me fulfillment where I am at. Yes, it is fun to travel but I don't do it all the time, nor would I want to. I believe we can find meaning in our everyday routine lives. Not saying its always a Hallmark moment, far from it, but I have even appreciated that I have the ability to figure out complicated issues in my life.

    I do wish you the very best. Is treatment worth it? Imo, yes.

  • SandiBeach57
    SandiBeach57 Member Posts: 1,617
    edited March 2018

    I am "bumping" this post as I think this new metser needs our input. Bump means to keep this thread active.

  • SandiBeach57
    SandiBeach57 Member Posts: 1,617
    edited March 2018
  • Chicagoan
    Chicagoan Member Posts: 728
    edited March 2018

    AnaMaria-I would encourage you to find out what your treatment would entail. My Stage 4 treatment has not been bad at all-just taking a few pills everyday. While there are side effects-such as fatigue, I feel much better under treatment than I did when my cancer was untreated. Find out what you would have to do and then you can make an informed decision. Sorry you are going through all of this. God bless.

  • AnaMaria34
    AnaMaria34 Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2018

    Thank you, Chicagan, for your input. I currently have no negative symptoms from my cancer that I can detect. I really think treatment, at this point, would make me feel worse. That is an important perspective you offered to me. Thanks again.

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