Thinking of MomAllTheTime and Dani

Mom: I was so shocked and saddened by your news. We were all pulling for Dani.

My dearest and closest in this world. Babs, thanks for helping me in updating everyone.

I am short with words. Now we sit shiva until Wednesday night. In the Jewish religion, you literally sit for 7 days and grieve the one passed. I'd say the one martyred. Everyone comes and consoles the family, it does seem I am doing most of the consolation, everyone is so shocked and sad, so openly distraught. This goes on from morning till night. Of course we have all this food.

SIL called in the middle of the night, after a whole day that they were away, she finally had the paracentesis done. Her BP was extremely low, but she wanted to do it, there was not much choice. She was blowing up, and short of breath. They came home, the kids were away, because in NY they were so scared of snow, at but at night she said she wanted the kids to come home, my son picked them up they kissed her GN, and in the darkness of the night, my SIL called that something is not right, we didn't even run over because I wasn't sure where we should go to the house or the Hospital. Then my son that lives near her, called me and said we should just come to the house.

You know, I should have had alarms going off, but it's funny my mind didn't go there, paramedics were asking me while we were driving there, if she has something with the heart blah blah, and I was like no, but I didn't ask why they ask. Anyhow, D was gone when we arrived. At first they wanted to keep my daughters and I away from here, and im like no, we wanna be with her. SO, we sat by her, and it was unreal. The kids were in their rooms, and of course they got up so early, there was not much commotion because all the paramedics are volunteers and know the family well, they just kept coming but there was no noise, but the kids knew something was wrong, even if they did not open the door to their room.

These volunteers did not wanna leave the house. A volunteer from an organization came to talk to the kids, she was called at 7AM and was there in no time. But hmm I fired her. Yep, I was thinking of what D would want, she told them that mom was sick and she is in heaven but when I was asking her about how to go about the next few days, I felt she was wondering if she could talk to me, I did not give her too much time, I told her she is a fool, she should figure out the dynamics from each family and go from there. SO being that I felt she was not doing her job off she went.

We have a custom to bury the dead asap, the girls did not wanna be in the room at the funeral, which anyway we thought it's best, so they stayed in a different room with some close ppl paying games. They are very angry, they said they will never be happy again. We were forbidden by them to use the work OK ever again, there is a new word, not ok, NOKI, yep their creation. The little one just had a birthday, so she said what a birthday present. She asked me how long did I have my mom, ( of course I did not answer her, my dear mom lived till 95), she said she only had her for 10yrs and 3 days. The 10yr old, is not really eating, they have such sadness. They are not sitting with us, we are at their home, they are upstairs, and the school will be bringing the friends in batches. Now we will be getting a new volunteer, it's called play therapy. And we will go from there.

The outpouring of love is truly incredible. A lot of people feel terrible that they did not know, they so wanted to be able to help. So far, everyone that came I truly felt their genuine caring. One new young neighbor came over, I asked her who she was, she told me she just moved across the street, and she had a baby 2 weeks ago, they have a block chat, (it's a big block because it just goes and goes), she said Dani was the first to wish her well and asked if she could help, 2 weeks ago. She could not believe it, that all Hell was going on and she had the mind to send her this message.

I gotta start my day here, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much for so much bravery, good advise, warm thoughts, extreme love and I could go on and on, form all of you wonderful wonderful (it's not a typo) ladies here.

I don't really have the laptop near me, so I'll check in later, if im allowed a moment.

Love you all, D was truly truly an incredible person. People asked me how could it be, they just saw her at a school function a few days b4, I told them I don't have the answer, but she had this sheer force for living, and living for the kids, this horrible monster did not stop her until the angel of death literally found it's way.

MOM~My heart is truly heaving in sadness, I am so very sorry that this has happened and are no words for those beautiful girls. I am so angry for you all and filled with such helpless sadness there is not a way I can convey such a feeling. You posted beautifully and I stand in awe of such a strong loving mother. Dani is beautiful, she touched people she didn't even know. And so do you sweet MOM! We love you both very much. And those precious girls will someday feel the kiss of a butterfly flying around them, and they will know, they just felt their angel from above! I am so deeply sorry there are truly no words to express! ~M~

Babs, thank you for being such a good friend to Mom. You're also a very special lady, please know I thank you for letting us know when I'm sure it would be the last thing you wanted to ever do. Friendships are found in many ways!

Sweet calming hugs ~M~ and much love to all always

Mom, you have been in our thoughts constantly. Thank you so much for checking in. My heart is breaking for Dani's girls. I know you will continue to guide them in all that is to come. You are absolutely the strongest woman I know.

Momallthetime,

I'm so sorry for your great loss. May the memory of Dani be an Eternal Blessing.

momatt. Glad to see your post. My prayers are for you and her dds. I am at a loss for words but your post is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us even when your grief is so new. My heart broke to hear to what the girl said. They are lucky to have you as grandma. I’ve no doubt you will continue to be able to tell the girls So much about DAni and how hard she’s fought to be with them. Sending hugs and love. Holding your hand virtually. 🤝. Much love.

Mom,

My heart was totally broken this past May, and it has been split wide open again. I hurt for you. I hurt for Dani’s precious girls. I certainly hurt for Dani’s husband.

If you ever want to talk, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I admire your Jewish tradition to “sit shiva”. I would be honored to join you by sitting shiva here in Baton Rouge consoling you through the gift of my prayers. Know that I am with you in spirit.

Lovingkindness and consolation to you and your entire clan, and may Dani Rest In Peace.

Louis

Momallthetime, I am honored that you came here to share with us during this time. I’m sorry you could not get to the house right before Dani passed, but that was just like her to want to spare you, wasn’t it. Her daughters got to kiss her goodnight, that is good. We are all thinking of you and the girls. How unutterably hard this all must be.

MOM, I think the highest compliment of all is when our daughters (or sons) learn and act on the best of our good traits. Dani was caring for others when she, herself, was hurting. She sounds so much like you. Something tells me her daughters will continue in the same way. You are loved in our virtual world.

MomATT - you and your family are in my thoughts.  

Mom~ Thinking of you all every day. May you find peace in knowing you are a wonderful mother and person. Much love~M~

MomATT, holding you all in my heart, and thinking of you all the time. (((Hugs))).