December 2017 Radiation Group

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  • Georgia1
    Georgia1 Member Posts: 1,321
    edited January 2018

    Good morning Skookum and I'm glad you found us. I guess I can only agree with Paulette that this is a very emotional journey so what you are feeling is perfectly normal. When I feel blue I remind myself that my BC was caught early, that it is not debilitating, and then I shake it off to do something "normal" like walk the dog or get my nails done. And if I don't feel like cooking or cleaning I don't!

    It also helps so much to have this posse of brave women to help me. You might say hello over on the "February radiatIon" thread too, just for another source of support. It is really hard for family to understand what we are going through, even when they try.

  • Ellyn27
    Ellyn27 Member Posts: 147
    edited January 2018

    Welcome Skookum. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It's difficult having kids with their own families to come and help out, especially when they aren't close. I have older sons and they pretty much didn't want to hear about it. I think it was because of the topic. I decided I didn't want to worry them so I made light of the whole thing. I told very few people because I didn't want any pity, but the few that did know where very kind. You do need someone to talk with though and that's why we're here :)  You have every right to feel emotional, this is your body and your life and just hearing our original diagnosis is VERY scarey. Then to go thru surgeries and doctor appts and treatments and meds and the list goes on. When will it end? Well, we can all tell you that it does get better. I got my RADs while in the prone position (I laid on my stomach) and when the machine went back and forth over me it made me crazy. I just had to close my eyes and try to think of something positive. I found that for me the more I read online (and we all do it) the more stressed I got. You read mostly about the bad things people went thru and not as much of the positive things. Some of us had hardly any SEs during RADs while others (like our Paulette) got some serious red marks. We are all different and our bodies are different and we all had different experiences. So glad you found us. Feel free to vent away because we've all been there and felt the same way.

    Cindy - Love your idea of coming up with our own products!! I was just telling hubby the other day that there should be a shop that carries products specifically for cancer warriors. They would have products like lotions, bras, hair care, even cleaning products that are all safe and natural. I was looking thru a website that talked about "natural" products but didn't list any. I sent them a message asking if they had a list. Their response was that they are "product neutral". I thought well, that was no help, thanks for nothing. I think in the U.S. companies are able to make things (products and food) with so much crap in them that are not healthy for us. I had been researching hair coloring because I needed a touchup and found nothing. I finally went to the salon and just said "just do it". Well, I think I went off on a tangent here ... sorry!!! 

    Have a great day everyone. Go outside, keep busy and think happy thoughts. Think of all the good things we have in our lives. Maybe go and buy some flowers (or shoes!!) for yourselves ...... because we deserve them :) STAY WARRIOR STRONG!

  • Rhyfelwr
    Rhyfelwr Member Posts: 88
    edited January 2018

    Hugs to you, Skookum. And come back for encouragement. The girls here are wonderful.

    For those of us with ointment stained bras that we are nearly ready to get rid of, an idea I saw on the internet today:


    Um...I'll just leave it at that.

  • OCDAmy
    OCDAmy Member Posts: 873
    edited January 2018

    Skookum, you are still early in this process. I promise it gets better as you get further away from diagnosis. I couldn't say the word cancer without crying for months. I will say my doctor gave me anxiety meds and it has helped me so much. You might consider asking for something if you find it hard to get through this. Walking helps me clear my head. This site has been so helpful to me as well. Best of luck to you. Let us know if we can help.

    Rhy...LOL!!! Thanks for sharing.

  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    I might have to stop coffee, I drunk half cup of coffee yesterday and I couldn’t sleep last night. After 6mg of melatonin finally I felt asleep that was 3am already. Today will be wasted I believe. I must need a nap.

    Rhy that’s a good one. I haven’t wore a bra for long time.

    Skookum hope you have a better night sleep than I do. Radiation goes by quickly as I said before then life will slowly get back to normal. Our life have changed but we still want to enjoy our life each days that calls living. I appreciated I have a second chance so I thanks God will treasure each day.

  • CindyNY
    CindyNY Member Posts: 1,022
    edited January 2018

    Snookum- you're more than 1/2 way through rads, that's great news! I'm sorry you're feeling blue, I think each of us have cried throughout this ordeal. But it's ok, we're survivors. You can ask about a support group where you get your rads, or at MO office. Because your family is spread out, it might help to have face time with others who are in the same boat as us. You are stronger than you know! HUGS

    Ryfelwr- I can just see the birds now, and my neighbors shaking their heads. Love it!

  • Leilals
    Leilals Member Posts: 37
    edited January 2018

    Paulettek so glad you are healing.

    As far as natural products go, look up what natural for food or products mean. Everything is natural. Natural flavor just means the chemical they use tastes like the real thing. Very misleading. I look for organic products now. Easy to Google and find the right ones.

    Snookum welcome, I am normally Mrs positive. I have experienced emotions and feelings that are so out of my normal realm it confuses me. During chemo my autoimmune diseases caused me so much pain. After my #5, my body was so stressed it just started crying on it's own. I literally couldn't stop it, the weirdest thing. My whole additude had been, so l have cancer, your going down, I'm taking you out, you won't influence me. Got over chemo, started radiation, I was feeling fine. Then my MO updated me on 10 years of hormonal treatment. 52 year's old hadn't started the change yet. When I understood the side effects I turned into a possessed she devil(this was just this week). I called my MO nurse and said, that's it I quit. If a man had to lose his penis, testicles,and prostrate they would have figured the side effects out by now! I have calmed down a bit and will continue treatment. But I am wondering who is this person! I am grateful for the treatments and entirely angry at the same time.

    I too am a very private person, hid it from my neighbors. A few times in early December I ran out side with out my hat on to get a package. I found very thoughtful gifts on my front porch every single day after that. I believe God sends others as angels to let us know he loves us. So, look out for Angels, their all around us.

    Sorry, this is so winded, a personal therapy I've started doing is to be somebody's Sunshine. I see so many sad and grumpy looking people around treatment so I make myself smile, introduce myself, I've even got one of the crustiest old men to give me a hug now. It makes me feel so good, it feels selfish. If I can't feel happy, I try to make someone else feel happy, it's always a win win.

    Love all the wonderful things everyone shares, love the bras, the flowers, the drives. Have an awesome Sunday!

  • Skookum
    Skookum Member Posts: 45
    edited January 2018

    How do I get to a forum of bc patients going through this now, January/ February 2018

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    Happy Sunday My Fellow WARRIORS!

    I havent posted in a few days, but ive been trying to keep up on the post.

    PauletteK; thanks for adding me to the FBOOK site!

    Aquaphor and the lotion mix is rather yucky, but by golly it works! Prior to rads i purchased 6 cotton bras, no wire; 42DD from Lane Bryant...and those babies werent cheap. With that said, i have alternated them every day/week since midNov. From Miaderm, to Aquaphor theyve seen their share of creams...BUT...im gonna keep it up until my skin is back to its natural glow. Lol... im flaking and shedding slowly, no pain just restoring back to my beautiful brown. I know this regimen can seem yuck, but again it works:)

    Ill reward myself with something sexy later... for now, its just the girls and cotton:)

    Skookum, im so glad to have you here...not under the circumstances, but for the support. Please know that you have now joined a group of the most fierce and strong women i know.

    This journey is not easy and for all the uplifting that we do; we are still human and some days are madness. I hope that you find more days of peace, of love, hope and strength because thats what its gonna take to make it .. one day at a time!

    I have laid in my bed and said aloud, "like really im a cancer survivor"; and right after that i say thank you Jesus for another chance...another day...another moment to make memories.

    I posted before that my Pastors sermon for the New Year; was Do A New Thing! Now i do... i drive a different route, i try new foods, i watch a new movie... I dont want my new memories to be the same as my past and i dont want to regret missing out... My dear; its easier said than done... but LIVE! Scripture says that God has already numbered our days... We are blessed, we are ALIVE and we have so much life to enjoy.

    If nothing else, each day say an affirmation of life, healing, restoration ..and make your request known to God. His promise says delay but not denied!!! He can do all things exceedingly and abundantly!

    image

    Be well my sisters and stay strong!

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    Leilas, considering how much i share with you all here.. i too have been very private. Not because i wanted this secret...lol..but because i wanted me to mentally, physically and emotionally prepare myself.

    I was dx Sept 25th; completed treatment Dec 27th, now on meds as of Jan 1 and id only shared with less than 20ppl. Surgery, appts, work, church, zaps, meds.... all done with only a small circle of ppl aware. I just shared with my principal and asst early Jan, and just shared with my staff last week. They all were like for as much as we would have wanted to be there for you...we understand! Im preparing myself to share more openly now...ill do so in baby steps because my church family has no idea...maybe about 10 of 150-200 ppl... But, i have joined a support awareness group and my first meeting is in Feb.

  • CindyNY
    CindyNY Member Posts: 1,022
    edited January 2018

    Snookum- go to Menu(at top); scroll down, All Topics. You'll get to a post called "Radiation Therapy- Before, During & After" if you hit that link, it will bring you into all forums under that subject. Good luck.

  • gigibee
    gigibee Member Posts: 192
    edited January 2018

    lifechoices I love your positive attitude. I notice now that I am done with Rads I feel more open to sharing with others. I too kept my situation in a very small circle. I have a great support system and just didn’t want or need more people to know.

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    gigibee; i was like i want to keep my circle as small as my centimeter!..well 2.5. Lol... Again, ive shared with a few since the first of the year, but only as i desire and as God speaks. Not everyone is prepared to know or understand or even be there for you. Amazingly so, as God reveals to whom to share each person has been wonderfully responsive...caring and prayerful. Going to this support group is going to be different... but 2018 Do A New Thing and i have to take heed to my words.

    I am forever grateful and blessed to have come across this post; you ladies are the best. And the truly best part about US... we know that everyday is not good, and we are honest with that knowledge...BUT... we also know that behind that pain is healing; behind that scar is a story ... but one thing we all share together are our hearts! Im forever bonded with you all because God led me to you...and its all of you that got me; got each other through!

  • Neanie44
    Neanie44 Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2018

    Happy Sunday Ladies. Oh, boy - have I missed a lot!! Congratulations to both SoniaL and Gigibee for Ringing that Bell!!!! PauletteK and Lifechoices - please continue to take care of skin and glad it is not too painful. Ellyn - that bracelet is so cute! Littlebee - I have completed 15/33 and fatigue has not set in yet, although if I had the schedule that Lifechoices had; I am sure I would be exhausted - she is such a SUPERWOMAN. :-) I am working a full day and go to treatment at the end of the day, but so far have not had to miss a day of work. Leilas - I am using the Miaderm 3 times a day and was also using the Aquaphor at night, but my RO frowned when I mentioned that I was using it. She said that I could use after treatment was completed, but preferred that I stop for now, because it interferes with the beams. Snookum-Welcome to the group. I like you and many of us, kept my circle small and almost regretted when I told certain family members. I don't think I would have said anything if I really had thought it was anything other a cyst in the beginning. Cry when you feel like crying. It will get better and the tears will fall less and less as you get to the finish line. I had not cried in a bit, but when my sister told me that her mammogram results were normal, I shed happy tears for her as I was getting my zapps on Friday - just relieved she didn't have to experience this. Please lean on us as much as you need too. These ladies are AWESOME and their support is phenomenal! Now, I will go, because I feel water building in my eyes. :-} Together we are stronger!

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    Neanie44... we're all SUPERWOMEN! Way to go with working and treatments! You my dear totally ROCK!!!! You have passed the halfway mark:)...

    My skin is doing good, as i stated earlier just restoring to my beautiful brown:)

    Glad that the Miaderm is working for you... i only used the Aquaphor at night as it kept my skin moist... but yes, please do what works for you and your skin (because everyone is different) but, if you see any changes be sure to let the RO know asap!

  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    how’s everyone Sunday? I’m so tired today, drunk my coffee yesterday then I can’t sleep much last night. Today even a long nap doesn’t help. I feel like in the clouds.

    My skin is beginning to itch and peel, so I think I’m closer to the heal stage.

    I’m pretty much open about my BC, most of my friends know unless they are not close to me, I do feel God gave me a second chance in life, will try to help people whenever I can. Life hasn’t back to normal, still got more tests to do next week, also husband needs check up. This flu season really makes me scared, I worried that I catch it so I still avoid crowds.

    Hope everyone have a good Monday, I know some of you still have zapping to do. Be strong! Kick C out he door.


  • Neanie44
    Neanie44 Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2018

    Lifechoices - I get told so often that I am so strong, ironically that is the way I felt before this. Now, not so much because the chemo just took me. Lately, I have reflected on how far I have come, but give all the glory to God. I just no longer feel invincible. So far, my skin is doing well and I meet with her every Tuesday, so she can examine it, but do best believe that I look it, my hubby examines and I will definitely alert her to any changes. She seems very vested, but I would hate to have to start experiencing problems because I stopped using the Aquaphor or use it and then have a possible reoccurrence blamed on it. Uggghhhhhh!!! Hate this mass confusion. Forgot to mention - Beautiful pic of you!! My nibbles of hair are coming growing out. :-)

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    Thanks Neanie44!

  • Neanie44
    Neanie44 Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2018

    PauletteK - Thank you for your posting about your fear of catching the flu. For a sec, I thought I had started using my cancer as a reason to not go places. I still feel as though I am punished. Scared to be around crowds and my 5 month old nephew. I am glad to know I am not the only one that is still taking "chemo" precautions. :-( Think it's a bit fear and depression. When I started chemo, I thought I could do it all, work and exercise, until it knocked me flat. Then I started to take it easy after treatments and found I was much better. Now just keeping activities to bare min. "Normal" life where are you????? LOL

  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    Neanie, every RO have their own preferences, I am using Aquaphor at night now, it is messy but I do think it helps the skin. Could be my mentally feel that’s way.

    Lifechoices you’re a very positive person, you helped me a lots. Bring the joy in this thread,

    Thank you.


  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    Neanie, during chemo time. I was one of those people pretty much stay in door, daily walk in open area. Only go to store on week days so less people. My husband also made sure I won’t be around crowds also. I didn’t want to catch anything so I might end up in ER.

    Now I finished chemo, hearing all the news about flu casing so many life. So I play more cautions because I doubt my immune system is that strong yet. Glad to know I am not the only one.


  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    Neanie44 and PauletteK my mom had the flu and of course very protective of my health. A week ago she called me and asked if i could bring lysol to her house... i hung it on the outside door handle and drove off... lol... she laughed, but understood!

  • lifechoices2017
    lifechoices2017 Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2018

    PauletteK thank you my friend! When i met my boyfriend he told me that one of the things that attracted him to me was that im always smiling, always so upbeat and positive... like when i answer the phone he says that my Hellooo sounds like im singing... lol...

    Now even after my dx, i asked him did anything change...he said nope, your now twice as attractive:) i love that man!

    I guess my mom and dad raised me and my 2 sisters to stay lifted... we've endured alot so being positive, strong and prayerful is all we know.

  • OCDAmy
    OCDAmy Member Posts: 873
    edited January 2018

    Oh gosh I do not want to get the flu after all I have been through. I'm crazy washing my hands all the time and staying out of crowds. I was at BS last week and this woman next to me was hacking away. I got up and moved. Worst place to be right now is a hospital or doctors office!

    It's hard to hide the fact that you have cancer when you are going through chemo, but I tried. I'm to the point now I do not give a crap. The wig is retired.


  • Neanie44
    Neanie44 Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2018

    Thanks ladies for certifying me as "not crazy and paranoid"! LOL

  • Rhyfelwr
    Rhyfelwr Member Posts: 88
    edited January 2018

    Don't get my husband started, talking about the flu! He's fanatical about being careful. I teach high school kids, and I have never worried before about getting sick -- my body usually fights things off just fine. But this year, I am feeling a little more paranoid. I share a classroom with another teacher, but she is a nurse and very protective of me, so that helps. I have read my students the riot act about coming into my classroom sick, and they have done a pretty good job about being careful. I don't go to the lunchroom or to the big assemblies, this time of year though. Just not worth the risk! Take care of yourselves, girls!

  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    Rhyfelwr it is hard to be a teacher, you are in the same room with these these young adults, there must be a lot of coughing ..... I would be worry also.

    I’m going to family doc office tomorrow, I planned to wear my mask 😷 while I wait in his sitting area. Tuesday I’m going to hospital for scan so I guess I will try to wear mask again. Arggggg


  • Leilals
    Leilals Member Posts: 37
    edited January 2018

    Life choices thank you for your thoughts and your sweet spirit. You make me smile.

    I've dealt with immune problems most my life. I would get the flu and have pneumonia for six months. So I think being very cautious is a great idea this flu season, it's bad. We came close to losing my daughters best friend and she is a healthy 17 year old. Better safe.

    Love all the moisturizing tips, thanks so much!

    I too Amy have gotten to the point where I just don't care who sees my quarter inch stubble. I feel pretty even though I'm bald. This experience has changed my POV, I'm more concerned with looking up not out.

    Hope you all have a good week!

  • Rhyfelwr
    Rhyfelwr Member Posts: 88
    edited January 2018

    Evidently a bunch of kids out this morning with the flu. I am happy to stay in my little office bubble! I have two bottles of Germ-X on my desk, and my OWN box of kleenex.

    This one bottle of Germ-X is green and has aloe in it. It smells like the soap that my grandma had in her house when I was little. So I put it on, and once again I feel like I am 6 years old, and it's summer, and I am in San Diego in the sun, and she is there with me.....ah. A nice happy place to start the week.

  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited January 2018

    I have a little tickle in my throat this morning took a cold meds just in case. I’m wearing my mask 😷 in the doc office waiting. Do I sound too much a worry worm? After heard of all these news school even closed down I can’t help to be more caution!



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