Just diagnosed with DCIS, haven't told my kids yet

I'm sorry this is happening to you. As you probably already know, pure DCIS is not invasive, so it does not move outside the duct to distant sites. So, your odds are very good. As my MO said to me, "You're not gonna die, but this next year is gonna suck." She was right. Cancer sucks.

As for telling your kids, I'm always on the side of giving them as much information as they need to know, without scaring them--they dont need to know everything. They will take their cues from you. This where the "act as if" principle kicks in: you act as if you have everything under control and they will believe you do. My best friend told her then-9yo daughter that she had a "tiny ball of cancer (DCIS) and the doctor was going to take it away." Her daughter was concerned, of course, but she accepted the explanation without difficulty. My friend had lumpectomy and radiation 15 years ago and has remained cancer free.

I can't tell you how to break it to your kids, but I'll tell you how I broke it to my adult kids--ice cream and home made cookies, LOL. Not even kidding. I pretended that i was strong and they bought it. When my DH developed advanced prostate cancer during my treatment, we broke the news with pizza and beer. Once again, we pretended that we had it all under control and the kids bought it.

Nursepatient35 - Looks like your diagnosis is similar to mine. I underwent a BMX at the end of November with immediate direct to implant. I completely agree with Mustlovepoodles. I have two girls 16 and 13. I was nervous to tell them as I knew they had knowledge from various health classes in school about cancer, radiation and chemo. But, I kept it simple and let them ask the questions. I explained that DCIS is considered stage 0 and my plan was to be as proactive as possible which is why I opted for a BMX. I also had an MRI following my DCIS diagnosis which found 2 other (thankfully B9) masses which I had biopsied for reassurance so I went into my surgery fairly certain there would be no surprises. I did meet with an oncologist who does genetic testing for anyone under the age of 45 and I knew before my surgery that those results were negative for any mutation. After surgery I was told my nodes were clear and nothing else was found in the final pathology. I will not need any further treatment and count my blessings everyday. The hardest part is navigating to whatever plan of treatment you decide on, telling family and friends and just getting through the days until surgery. You're gonna do great and I'm happy to answer any other questions that may come up, hang in there!

I was honest with my kids from the time of my biopsy. I had invasive cancer, so it was a little different, but I just told them that there was cancer in my breast, so I was having surgery to remove them, and was honest about every step of the way. I told them that both of their grandmothers had this, and are doing great, and I expected the same for myself. Since yours is not invasive, I agree that you could tell them that there is an area that could become cancer, and you are going to have surgery to keep that from happening, to ensure you'll be their for them for many, many, many years. I told them I would still make it to school events, and all of their other activities (their schedule remaining normal is huge). I did say there were things they could do to help. Since I knew I'd do chemo and would be tired, I asked them to start doing their own laundry, and pack their own lunches (they'd tell us on Saturday what foods they wanted for lunches, and we'd be sure to have them by Sunday night). My kids were 13, 11, and 9. They took over those chores without question (and still do them now......yahooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). I praised them and told them how much it helped me to have them do these things. This gave them a sense of control and the satisfaction of helping. Yours are old enough to pack their own lunches; start this a week or so before surgery, so it becomes routine, and so you can set guidelines and ensure they don't pack a lunch of Oreos, chips, and nothing else). Mine love it because they pack what they want to eat; not what I think they want to eat. No food gets wasted anymore. Since yours may not be able to do laundry, they can certainly carry the laundry basket, put what you direct into the washer (and then into the dryer) and you can all fold the laundry together sitting on the bed, and the oldest 2 can put it away, or at least into the rooms where they go. Your 2 year old can sort and match socks to be involved. Do this together, and let them know how much it is helping you in your recovery. It WILL be helpful, and it is a really good life skill.

Kids naturally want to help, and involving them in this way gives them a sense of control in a situation where they can easily feel they have no control.

I didn't see a reason to explain DCIS or the later procedures to my son at any time other than telling him when he was little that he couldn't jump on Mom after a lumpectomy because she was recovering from an operation. But I guess it depends on the child - mine was typically self-centered as a child and not likely to worry about me. It wasn't until he was in his 20s and I had a mastectomy/reconstruction that I felt I needed to explain things in more detail, because obviously there's a tiny risk of death with a long general anesthesia. All the subtleties of the risk factors for DCIS are impossible to explain to a child, so why worry them? I'd say just tell the older two that you have to have some tests and you will be sore afterward and what they need to do to not hurt you, but that you'll be OK.