Still have the fatigue after 2 years.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2008

    I double the "WELL SAID" comment from Mary!!!!!!!

    The outside world has no idea what all the things we go through trying to fight to survive does to our bodies on a long term effect. And I also agree with the statement that the medical world needs to make the fatigue from treatment more openly known.....yes, they told me rads were gonna kick my hinney, but it seems so easy so I was full steam ahead, then when it did hit I felt like I'd been run over by a truck and still do at close to 2 yrs out....if they know enough to tell you ahead that these treatments (even the simpler ones like rads) are going to do this then I believe they should be more open about it..not just a small warning...maybe if I had known the full version of it I would have backed off and rested more in the beginning so it might have not kicked me so hard at the end...

    Im in a relationship that is just only 6 months old and he is very understanding but I dont think he fully understands it, as we werent together during my treatment...Im just extremely thankful that he tries to understand it at all.

    Hope you all get the rest you need for the week, but I know by Wensday Im starting to feel a little draggy and REALLY start looking forward to the weekend...

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2008

    Jule, you should start a thread call "Finding love after BC" 

    It may help some of those that we read about,  who have lost a spouse b/c of the stress BC brings to a relationship. Or that just brings all the other issues to a head.

    I know for me, Michael and I had to really hold on to each other , but some men really can't handle the whole experience very well at all,  and often bail out.

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  • althea
    althea Member Posts: 1,595
    edited October 2008

    I completely agree that the outside world doesn't understand the longterm effects.  It's not just the outsiders either.  I've complained about fatigue to my oncologist since the day I finished rads.  My oncologist just seems to shrug his shoulders and offers effexor for hot flash relief as some sort of consolation. 

    <>It makes me mad.  It makes me lack confidence in my oncologist overall.  It makes me feel unheard.  I feel like he's holding his breath and waiting for the visit where I decided to just suck it up and stop complaining about the fatigue.  I promised myself when I started this journey that I would get through it and then I'd get OVER it.  It really pisses me off that I'm not over it yet.  
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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited October 2008

    My onc (German) told me that in Germany anyone having chemo was given a year off work, paid for by the State, and from what I understand at a pretty good rate.  I really think this is significant, and could hold a clue to how girls recover to the point of being ready to 'get on with it'. It would have made an enormous difference to me to have had that break: physical, mental and emotional. Not having to worry about sick leave, absenteeism etc would have been such a relief. I don't know about the rest of you, but I kept going to work and did more and more as I was 'able'. But the reality is, we are not truly 'able'. We simply cope and manage, and the physical decline continues, albeit insidiously. There is no time for quality, self-centered recovery.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2008

    Mary-thank you for the vote of confident on the relationship issue but I think I just got lucky....I really dont have any earth shattering advice for "Finding Love After BC" so not sure that thread would go very far....

    Althea-I dont think the medical field takes it seriously enough either....my rad oncologist and his nurse are the ones that talked to me about it, but it was more the nurse than the doc and she was talking to me about it because she says she actually sees it week to week as the patients go through their rad treatment. She was wonderful, it would be nice for every docs office to have a head nurse like Lori.

    Kerry-I lived alone and worked full time through my bc journey, but for me I think mentally/emotionall I NEEDED to work...I work for the state here so benefits and time off are not an issue (THANKFULLY)...There were days that I had to drag my hinney to work and put on a stiff upper lip to stay once I got there but the thing that always got me going was the thought that once I got home I would be alone and then my mind would wonder to dark places...the night time was MORE THAN enough time for those thoughts, so I pushed through work daily....I often wonder if my attitude might have been a little less tight about working if I had known how severely the fatige was going to hit me once it finally caught up with me, but Oh well, its done and in the past now so I continue to plug along and I really feel that over time (if I slow down when I first begin to feel the burn out coming) I might actually get back to a more normal level.

    This is such a wonderful thread, I really appreciate you starting it Mary.....hopefully as we each progress through the stages of this journey we can help each other with what we each have learned.

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2008

    Jule, you may have more input than you know. I as a married woman don't think I would ever let another man near me after this. I'm just not the same as before,  in my confidence level.Cry

    Not that it was all that great before Frown

    Just having the nerve to date would be huge for me.Embarassed

    I have a date with a 2 year old this afternoon, I will be taking him to the fireman's parade. Wish me luck LOL.....

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2008

    Mary-I hope you and your handsome date had a blast at the fireman's parade...what fun!!!!!

    My confident level was pretty low too but my family and friends kept pushing me about dating so I finally did it to shut them up!!!! I know they love me and worry about me but DANG people!!!! Actually Im smiling as I say that about them all...I love them dearly and am very thankful that they pushed me into dating because if they hadnt I wouldnt have this wonderful man in my life now....

    David (my wonder man) and I are getting ready for a 3 day camping trip so wont be back online until late Monday.....

    Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend....

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited November 2008
    Jule~ How did your trip go?
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2008

    Hi Mary Lou

    Our trip was wonderful....fall is really here but Im wanting more summer so we can camp more...Im not sure Im into that cold weather camping stuff.

    I met (well kind of) my guys dad via phone call last night and he was very welcoming...Ive been a little nervous about meeting his family as he was married to his ex for 29 years so sometimes I feel like I have some really big shoes to fill with his family....so far I havent actually met any of them other than the call to his dad last night and his son but his son is a great kid and has been easy to communicate with.

    But (why does there ALWAYS have to be one???) his daughter is another story...she is barely talking to him because she feels that he and his ex should try one more time...he says not to worry about it because he is done trying on that side of things...he says his daughter will come around eventually so I guess for now I just need to learn to trust his judgement and hope for the best....his daughter has two little boys and I know he misses them tremendously.

    How did your date go???

    Jule

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited November 2008

    Date was good. I have step daughters who are grown. They can be a pain in the @ss at times. It's just par for the course I guess.

    It is always hard to come behind another woman. The hard thing for me was to move into Michaels house.

    I sold mine, now I wish we had sold both homes, and picked out OUR home together.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2008

    Dates with little guys are always fun!!! Glad to hear you have a great time.

    I've never been a step mother so Im entering that realm now...

    Since my last posting Davids daughter has finally given in and contacted him so we will see where that goes...He and I had been out playing around fishing a couple of weekends ago and I had taken some really good pictures of him. He sent one to her and for some reason that seemed to put a crack in the wall between them..Im hoping it is because she sees how happy he is and that things will continue to improve between them as he says they have always been very close. I think part of the issue is that she lives with his ex as her husband is in the military. I think maybe David's ex is alot of the issue betweent he two of them....

    He moved to my home as we were 250 miles apart, but we are looking to start over completely so plan to begin looking for our own home to purchase so I understand what you mean about selling both homes and picking out your own.....We have had discussion on the feelings that moving into someone elses home causes so think I can understand what you are saying about coming behind another woman.

    Hope all is well

    Jule

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited November 2008

    Yes behind the other woman. That is a hard one. 

    But what I did is remodel the home we are in. It is so different that the children that once played here with my step daughters don't even know where the bathrooms are anymore.

    We made a living room out of the old carport, added a back door with a 50ft deck etc. It has made a big change and added value to our home.

    Hope it is worth the work ...We wanted to relocate after we retire. Not sure if that will still be the plan when we get to that age. Cancer hit me at 49 , so you never know what is down the road.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2008

    We have talked about just doing a remodel and do intend on doing some while we look for "our" spot/home together. I dont intend to sell my place but to use it as a rental so the remodeling is needed anyway.

    I was 46 when I got blindsided by BC and will be 48 in two more weeks...I just passed my 2 yr dx date of Nov 4th, but actually count my surgery date as the cancerverary date since that was when it was removed...that date is the day of my b-day...Nov. 15th.

    So I agree completely with your statement of "you never know what is down the road"....

    Hope you have a great rest of the week and weekend...will visit with you again soon.

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited November 2008
    Laughing Hope you have a great week end.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2008

    Holy Cow.....I didnt realize how long it had been since I posted here!!!!!!

    Davids b-day present to me was a completely remodeled kitchen and then once that was done (which mind you only took 2 wks, I was shocked!!) I decided to paint and re-trim the living room.....everything looks so fresh and clean that its hard to believe its the same two rooms!!!!!

    Then I caught a nasty cold that has been going around so ended up on the sofa under a ton of blankets as I was freezing to death for two days!!! Most of that is going away now but Im still cold and have a cough left over...

    Hope all is well with you and that you are planning a wonderful holiday...

    We are either going to Boise, ID so that I can meet Davids family or staying home for our first real holiday together but we havent decided for sure just yet....

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • dontgiveup
    dontgiveup Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2011

    wow this is an old post, i typed in being fatigued after two years being free from breast cancer and this came up. I am releived to have read it, and think I need to find me a womens support group localy. I hate being tired and I know family and friends think I am faking it. I said the other day I was exhausted and my sister in law made a smirking noise like I was lying, I had to leave. I am not a complainer, I dont go around to any of my family and talk about my physical being. I teach Gods word, I love livng a life of being positive and trusting God. Its just that I am tired all day long, wake up exhausted, its crazy but I remain thankful. Your post just blessed me and I needed to read that today.

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  • cathieholland
    cathieholland Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2015

    this is me. I am always tired. I was hoping it got better. My hours at work got changed at work so now I work till 9 at night and feel like a frigging zombie all the time. I am so glad to have found this group

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  • lkc
    lkc Member Posts: 1,203
    edited February 2015

    cathie, Yes, this is all normal part BC experience. As time goes by it does get better, bit by bit.I was exhausted the first few years.

    Good luck Dear.

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  • gavinsgrandma
    gavinsgrandma Member Posts: 407
    edited February 2015

    Good morning ladies, I was so glad to find this thread even though most of the posts are old I was glad to see cathieholla and Ikc are out there and feeling like I do. I am just about 1year out of last chemo and almost 8 months out of radiation and I too get so darn tired, I am taking Letrozole as Arimidex and Tamoxifen both did not agree with me. I just returned to work as a Hairstylist after almost 2years of being off and I only work 2 days a week but I am having a hard time wanting to do anything and that's not like me, I am very emotional and I sort of feel left out and somewhat rejected from the world these day's not sure what is going but I assume it all part of this BC journey.

    Shar


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  • Kristiina
    Kristiina Member Posts: 16
    edited December 2017

    most of this thread is from years ago but the topic is very relevant to me. I feel really tired a lot. I'm exercising more and that supposed to help but I seem to just hit a wall sometimes

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  • Newnorm
    Newnorm Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2017

    Hi Kristina, I feel tired too. It’s annoying but I don’t fight it, I just try and find a quiet space to have even ten minutes rest. I think we need to be kind to ourselves and give some time between treatment and expecting to feel 100%. Try and rest

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  • bravepoint
    bravepoint Member Posts: 404
    edited December 2017

    I feel the same way. I'm 8 months PFC and 6 months out from radiation. Some days I just have to lie down in the afternoon and close my eyes for a few minutes to feel slightly rested. I feel that now that I am treatment, friends and family think that I should be back to normal and don't understand this feeling of fatigue....

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  • Molly2013
    Molly2013 Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2018

    I am 5 years out and I’m still struggling with fatigue. I feel so blessed to be a survivor but I hate feeling so exhausted.

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