Why bother??

mamatwoboys,

Yes, there are stories that will make you ask, why bother?, but there are other stories too. Let me preface this by saying that those who are doing well tend to post far less than those who are struggling. This is not only true of bc, but of any other ailment that has an online prescence.

I am in my seventh year of NED. I work full time, have had two grandchildren (and one more on the way), I travel, have taken up knitting and , with some modifications, enjoy life. On top of the strains of stage IV, I also experience the ups and downs of regular life.

Others do have it much harder. The thing is, we don't know into which group we'll fall and it's more of a spectrum than clearly defined groups. So, why not bother, since you never know how it will go.

Yes, the beginning is rough, but in time it gets better. If you haven't looked into it, counseling and antidepressants have been a great help to many.

In the end, all decisions are ultimately yours, but consider the increasing number of good stories too. No, there is no cure yet, but we're hanging on longer and who knows when the next good meds might come down the pike. Remember, if your QOL is seriously impaired by se's, then you can stop treatment.

Take good care of yourself

hi mama

I hear how you are struggling and wanted to reach out exbrnxgrl is correct about the not posting when you are doing well. I very rarely post but am almost 5 years out from stage 4 de nova diagnosis. I have mets in most of my bones and have little things happen here and there but for the most part have been stable all this time. I’ve never been Ned but stable isn’t too bad a guy either. In the beginning I too wondered “why bother” but when I look at my kids and 2 year old granddaughter I know they are why I bother. I’ve been on the same treatment all this time-there are many good stories out there but like me I’ve been busy living so I don’t always post. You have to do what you are comfortable with and live life on your terms. I wish you the best-take care.

Kristin

mamatwoboys, I agree, the first couple of months are shocking, stressful, depressing. Upon initial diagnosis, I actually told my husband he could get remarried, I feel so far from that mentality now. I had a severe reaction to taxotere, then again to taxol and was wondering if I could tolerate treatment at all but the 3rd one (Abraxane) was the charm, I adjusted, started seeing results and decided to get my head back in the game. I've always been optimistic and made my best effort to focus on the positives, like early retirement and not having to shave my legs for 5 months, lol

Mamatwoboys, I have a friend. She was diagnosed with MBC a year after I was. She's been on the heavy stuff, then they discovered brain mets. She's now been living almost a year with those. She still goes to work and has a generally good attitude.

I look at that and think "if she can do it, I can do it". I have few very SEs compared to her. Yes, those hormonals dry you out, inside and out. I've learned to live with that. Everyone at my office is totally impressed with me (at least those who know I have MBC), but little do they know -- all I want is to live a normal life. So I do.

You can too. But always remember, it is your right to stop any and all treatments. If you don't like the side-effects, move on to something else. If my SEs get too bad, I cut back on my meds. My Onc is totally on board with that.