I Miss My Casual Relationship with Food

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited May 2017

    I got pretty jiggy with the food thing for a couple of years. Now I am much more relaxed. I try to find a balance. I happen to like veggies and I always cooked from scratch anyway. I am not really into sweets, so unless I really, really feel like it, I tend to skip it. But I make an effort not to obsess.

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  • LisaAlissa
    LisaAlissa Member Posts: 1,092
    edited May 2017

    Let me recommend waffles. When you want to indulge yourself, there is not much that will beat a great waffle. Slathered with real butter & maple syrup. Or maybe SarahBeth's strawberry-raspberry preserves (no preservatives, just fruit, sugar & lemon, so it's liquidy). Or maybe apricot syrup?

    Not the fresh-from-the toaster kind, rather the fresh from the waffle iron ones! Marion Cunningham's recipe, which is not particularly sweet by itself. (You control the sweetness by what you put on it.) You'll find it in several of her books, including:

    Learning to Cook with Marion Cunningham

    The Breakfast Book

    and all over the web (beware the "Saveur" version which appear as the paid result at the top of a google search--it has you (for some unknown reason) put the eggs in the batter before you have it sit at room temperature overnight (if you're eating waffles for breakfast--or all day if you're having waffles for supper).

    There's a nicely formatted version of the recipe "here."

    And of course, if you have extra batter, you can have more waffles lthe next day...or you can make them & freeze them now and have your own frozen waffles for the toaster later. And even frozen/eaten later, they're better than the commercial kind!

    Enjoy,

    LisaAlissa

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  • sunnyjay
    sunnyjay Member Posts: 238
    edited July 2017

    Jojobird: I just ran across this and feel like I am living your life. I was doing fitness bootcamp for the last couple of years, eating relatively well but as foodies, the hubby & I like trying new restaurants, cuisines, etc. and having popcorn during our occasional movie dates. I was even starting to train for a 5K just before I got the diagnosis. I was able to defer it to next year, so hopefully will be better and faster by then!

    A Whole Foods opened up not too far from where I live, so I find myself there every other week or so. I buy veggies or salads and end up eating half of it because I get lazy to put anything together after a day's work, and end up at Panera since they are claiming clean recipes. There's a Panera a block away from my office, and a mile away from my home! I tried to start the keto diet (high fat, low carb or something like that), but may not be good for my liver. I've even bought recipe books with the idea that I'll start these yummy looking, healthy dinners.

    I know I really need to change my lifestyle, and I think I'm making progress. But since I can't do bootcamp right now, I'll need to get up and move somehow.

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  • Katmil426
    Katmil426 Member Posts: 15
    edited October 2017

    I have not been on this site for quite a while so I missed your piece when it was first posted. You capture SO well the way I also feel. Before my BC diagnosis, I thought I was eating well -- had given up beef and pork many years ago, followed a low-fat regimen, almost never had fried foods, many fruits and veggies. Since BC, I have switched over to almost all organic food, or as close to it as I can get without going bankrupt. I have cut out alcohol except for maybe once or twice/year even though I was never a big drinker. I figured that not drinking is an easy way to get rid of some calories. Despite the fact that I exercise daily and with activities such as kickboxing, zumba, WERQ, and free weights, I am slowing gain back most of the weight I lost during chemo (approximately 25 pounds in all). My oncologist says it is probably because of Femara I have been taking for almost 2 years now to prevent a recurrence of my ER+/PR+/HER2+ cancer. I am frustrated and unhappy with this state of affairs and just so tired of worrying about all of this all of the time!! I keep hearing that sugar is also the enemy but at times I crave it and raspberries just do not cut it.

    So thanks for writing so beautifully about a topic I think about every single day.

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  • Jojobird
    Jojobird Member Posts: 203
    edited October 2017

    Oh, Katmil, do I *hear* you on the sugar. I do allow myself a cheat day once a week, where chocolate, or a piece of pie, or some other treat lets me soak in that sugary pleasure the rest of the week can't afford. But the truth is, like you, I miss not worrying about every bite. It's not even that I'm obsessing - it's that everything carries more literal and metaphorical weight now.

    KB870- I cannot believe that some people are commenting on your food? Makes me wanna slap someone! (Forgive me, moderators.) It is hard to "enjoy" food again, especially when there's so much conflicting information about what to eat and when. It is a new relationship for sure, compounded by the fact that it's one of the few areas we feel like we can control. And the betrayal of our bodies: will this make it come back? Will the weight gain cause recurrence?

    I'm learning, bit by slow bit, to re-engage with food. Cautiously. I'm eating very healthy and will continue to do so, but I refuse to second guess or berate myself for a Coke, or frosting, or the occasional cherry pie slice.


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  • beach2beach
    beach2beach Member Posts: 996
    edited October 2017

    Jojobird,

    You said it great in your post. I'm still new in this journey but man I love sweets and that's been tough. Miss snacks too. Somehow swapping some Stella Doro's for carrot sticks with a cup of tea is not the same!

    What drives me nuts is people saying oh, have a drink, come on, it will loosen you up, won't hurt. Ok, I know it will lossen me up,,boy do I know it will from years of it. It probably won't hurt, but I've made a choice to try not to. The same with what's on my plate. Oh come on, eat more, or why are you not having dessert or a second helping? Um because its my choice now that I have made so please, unless your're in my shoes, or even if you are, that's your choice, this is mine for now so buzz off.

    Heck yeah I miss not worrying about the crap I'm putting in my mouth. Halloween is going to be a tough one. Once I open those bags to give out for treats...it's going to take willpower!!!!

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  • swg
    swg Member Posts: 461
    edited October 2017

    From what I've been reading, it seems like BC can just be random. I 'm 50. Never had a pregnancy. My tumor is ER+/PR+. I read a 1998 article in the Atlantic by a breast cancer researcher who suggests part of the reason so many women get breast cancer these days is because women are more empowered. We're not pregnant for most of our adult lives--we're in the workforce, or we've limited the number of kids we have, thanks to birth control. These are not things society would want to trade, in order to have less breast cancer.

    However, when women go through a period every month of their life for as long as someone like I have..the odds that a breast cell that feeds on the hormones released during menstruation is gonna maybe misfire and start producing cancer..that's a risk.

    I've exercised regularly. I can't say I eat 100 pct healthily, and I do drink a craft beer now and again, but I stay away from sodas and fast food. Never smoked. Didn't party hard after my mid-20s. I am planning to exercise MORE, now that I've been diagnosed, but hell no, I'm not giving up alcohol. I enjoy it too much. What's the point of living til 80 if I can't do the things I wanna do while I'm here? I will add more fruits and veggies to my diet but I still plan on getting a pizza every once in a while, and eating chocolate :)

    My primary care doctor did a physical check up on me a cpl weeks ago..checked my blood..everything was normal. Red blood cells..white blood cells..everything. If I didn't have cancer, you'd think I was pretty dang healthy for my age!


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  • Newnorm
    Newnorm Member Posts: 100
    edited October 2017

    Such a great post Jojobird. I can relate. Not sure what effect all the foodcontrol is having for me, other than the constant reminder I've had cancer! I'm about to finish ten months of treatment next week and I want to know how best to just get on with life and stop thinking about BC ALL the time.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited October 2017

    NewNorm - my motto is moderation in all things. I don't deny myself anything, but I try not to over do it either.

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  • PauletteK
    PauletteK Member Posts: 2,205
    edited October 2017

    Jojobird love your writing and I can’t agreed with you more. I love eating now I don’t enjoy eating. Also BC has no reason at all, I’m healthy eat well, my mother in law eats all kind of fried food and she doesn’t has cancer and I do. Oh well, that’s life.

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  • Jojobird
    Jojobird Member Posts: 203
    edited October 2017

    KB, let those wack jobs commenting on your weight ghost away for sure. You deserve to be around people who support you!

    beach2beach, I wish you luck on Halloween. I also hear you on how challenging it can be when others try to "encourage" you to eat/take more than you want. to. I've tried to tell my friends/family that I'm doing everything I can to survive, and so no thank you, and they usually leave me alone.

    swg - I also feel like it's kind of random. I had a kid, nursed for two years, run, eat mostly veggies/fruits, never smoked, stayed within normal weight range. etc. etc.....but my mom and aunt had bc and a gene mutation (not BRCA) runs through us. So, I do what I can, do my best, and also try to let go of what I can't control.

    Newnorm and Paulette, thank you so much for the kind words about my writing. This cancer has shown me that so many people can be kind, and one of my goals is to try to offer support on these boards. We are sisters and brothers in this sadness and strength.

    Love out.

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