Trivializing and sexualizing this process....

To be upfront, I'm not on Facebook but I have an 18 yr old and a 20 yr old. For what it's worth, these young women grew up on social media. Every aspect of their lives is public nowadays from where they go to what they had for dinner. I don't necessarily think they are trivializing it, certainly they don't see it that way. It's just when you have a problem or something big happens, it seems to go to the internet as a way of seeking support. Very similar to what we do here on bco. I've seen many boards here where women discuss implant sizes and shapes and seek input and opinions about it. While I don't think the whole world needs to know your whole life on social media, these young women don't really know anything different.

Honestly, if a young woman has breast cancer, she is entirely within her right to promote her journey. How is social media any different from us telling our stories on here? I'm in various facebook groups that discuss all sorts of things in my journey. The fact someone young has this shitty disease sucks - if she's making lemonade out of it - more power to her.

When I was diagnosed I announced it on facebook and got tons of support, going so far as clients who were facebook friends sending me a custom made singing telegram (Dolly Parton singing 'bye bye boobies' ala Bye Bye Birdie" - then she popped her balloon huge boobs). The support I got on facebook was phenomenal and it was a way for me to help educate others on what they should look for and what symptoms I had. I even posted a great shot of my cleavage the day before I had the Mastectomies and had nothing but support. Many of us view online and social media friends and support as equal to in person support.

I don't understand the judgement aimed at these young women at all.

I actually follow a "previvor" on Instagram. This particular young woman does post images of herself that are designed to highlight her reconstruction process (well she is in tissue expanders at the moment). IE, very low cut dresses, bikinis, but also ones of her in her pink paper gown at her surgeon's office getting fills. I was intrigued by her story when I discovered it and decided to follow her and honestly I'm thankful for her open-ness about the process. I have a teen daughter who will have to make decisions when she is older about how she will handle her very high risk for breast cancer (thanks to having a mom who was diagnosed young and a slew of breast cancer on her dad's side of the family). I'm glad that she will be able to see stories of other young women who have faced the same decisions and are not ashamed to share their stories.

I too have children and unfortunately my oldest who is 19 sees these “previvor” posts. Thankfully she understands and has seen what I’ve been through and understands this is not a trivial matter

Bosum, that is a great point. Only when we speak about and shout about it does culture change and people become more accepting. In my case, there are tons of women being interviewed for articles as flat and fabulous warriors. They are topless and not afraid to show off their chests to the world to showcase that this new body can be powerful and sexy, etc. The New York Times, Good Morning America, Even Oprah in this month's magazine (Oct) have women bearing their chests to showcase the results and choice. There was a New York fashion show for ana ona with all sorts of women topless. Reconstructed, Flat, Unis, They were boldly and proudly walking down that runway not afraid to show their scars.

This openness can change opinions and society. Even I was interviewed in the Times about my choice.

I was looking for some support for myself and I'm so disappointed to not even be able to find that here. I will be unfollowing the post but feel free to continue the conversation amongst yourselves. Be well

Heh! Social media DOES bring out the worst in some people, cancer or no cancer. It's an excellent platform for self-promotion and narcissism galore. I'm on almost all of them and turn off notifications of blatant, nauseating self promotion of any variety that doesn't bring anything to the table for me, further hiding in my bubble. I prefer my bubble

Momat143 I get what you are saying and you have a right to feel that way. This isn't funny and it's life changing and scary. But people have a right to deal with this monster the way they feel comfortable.

labelle I think you are exactly right. There is such pressure on us to pretend everything is okay because others don't want to see the truth. While I didn't go into too much details I did post on facebook about my diagnosis and what I was going through. I did that because I wanted to make sure people got the correct information. I wanted to educate and let everyone know what it really is like to live this. People looked at me and saw I was getting up everyday and going to work and living my life so they assumed I was fine and this was no big deal. I wanted to let them know that isn't true. I wanted them to know the reality and how difficult this is.

I am very open in real life and on social media, about my stage IV bc. I've posted pics of myself in the infusion center as well as my DD and myself goofing around in the infusion center. This may not be everyones's cup of tea and that's fine. I also make jokes about bc and my likely death. Humor is one of my coping mechanisms. Again it may not work for everyone, but I think there are as many ways to cope with bc as there are bc patients.

I will say that the way I took the original post was that there are young women promoting themselves on social media as either having BC or being high risk and advertising it as some happy great thing the same way they would self promote if they just graduated college, just got engaged, just landed their first real job in their chosen career etc. They're not looking for support, they're looking for the attention from as many people as possible. There is a difference.

Ex: recent posting quoting following stats: risk of developing bc IF poster tests BRCA +, risk IF mom & poster both test BRCA +, (no genetic testing done by the way), oh and poster states she has a cyst in one breast and now needs to decide whether or not to have a bmx or just take tamoxifen... Um, what in the world are you even talking about?!? BMX for a cyst?!? Tamoxifen for a cyst?!? Ask a simple clarifying question on whether genetic testing was or wasn't done - get slammed for asking (the answer was 'no testing done') & poster states that she shouldn't have to justify herself to "strangers". This is just my most recent experience.

"Previvors," many of whom are gene positive, may find themselves at 25 or 30 having to make a decision to prophylactically have themselves sterilized and have mastectomies to avoid developing cancer. I think they are certainly entitled to do whatever it takes to restore their bodies (and self-esteem) to as normal an appearance as possible, and I wouldn't consider that "sexualizing." Sexualizing is October "Save Second Base" or "Save the Ta Tas."

I have to say that even at fifty, when I had a huge ovarian cancer and had to be cut (and scarred) from pubis to sternum I mourned my younger pretty torso and waist and how much I loved showing them off in crop tops when I was young