Feeling alone with MBC

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singlemom1
singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
edited October 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

I am feeling very isolated from the people in my life. I posted a powerful and emotional video on facebook today about living with MBC since it is MBC awareness day. The video was made by Laura Odom. Not sure if anyone else has seen it but it really hits you.  I had two acquaintances  respond to the post. I know I sound like a high school kid but this really upset me.  I am feeling very alone with this disease lately and am hurt that none of my close friends have commented or called me. I know they do not really get it but the sense of isolation I am feeling is palpable.  I have a 11 year old daughter and at times the fear and anxiety around her well-being is hard to manage.  I am all she has.  No father, no grandparents, no relatives except for extended cousins that live an hour a way.  It has been two years since the MBC diagnosis and I can't help but feel like my friends are tired of the cancer thing. I try to stay positive and not "burden" them too much but I guess I had hoped I would of heard from those close to me today.        

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  • Zillsnot4me
    Zillsnot4me Member Posts: 2,687
    edited October 2017

    Same boat here. I too posted that video. Maybe they don't know what to say or how to apologize.

    But we are here for you and completely get it.

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited October 2017

    Singlemom, I am sorry that you didn't get the response you deserve. I have my own theories about why people act the way they do with us. I don't think that your friends are tired of your cancer thing. I think they just don't know what to say or how to act. They have no way of understanding how you feel because they don't have MBC. To them you probably look great and appear to be handling everything well. Think about it. To outsiders, you appear strong. You are doing it all - working, raising a wonderful daughter, managing a household, and living with a horrible disease. To some of your friends, you probably seem like a superhero. They might not realize that you could use their support. Others might be afraid to bring up your disease because they think it will upset you. My adult son recently asked me how I was feeling and whether or not my current treatment was working. He then asked if I was sick of answering those questions. I told him that I was never tired of answering questions for people who really care. I can see why some people might think we would get tired of talking about MBC. Now, if your friends really are tired of the cancer thing, tell them you are a lot more tired of it than they are.

    You are never alone, Singlemom. We will always be right here for you. We know how you feel. We are willing and ready to hear whatever you have to say. You can complain, rant, celebrate, mourn, laugh, and cry with us. We will never tire of you or your thoughts. You do not have to stay positive here. We all experience bad times. It is especially hard for you, raising your daughter all alone. We understand.

    Hugs and prayers from, Lynne


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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited October 2017

    Thanks Zill - maybe your right and they don't know what to say.  Some days one feels more emotional with this disease than others. 

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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited October 2017

    Lynne - you brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you, I appreciate what you had to say and your support.  You are very kind and wise.   

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  • AnimalCrackers
    AnimalCrackers Member Posts: 701
    edited October 2017

    Lynne (50sgirl), same here - you brought tears to my eyes.

    Singlemom1 - I made several attempts to post something on Facebook today about metastatic breast cancer and each time I erased and cancelled my post. I'm not 100% why. It was a gut instinct that I would be setting myself up for disappointment. You are not alone. We are here and we understand. ( Hugs))

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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited October 2017

    Animalcrackers -  Funny, I kept wanting to go back and delete the post also. I think for the same reason.  I made myself let it stay.  Thank you.

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited October 2017

    singlemom,

    As others have said - We are all here with you. This roller coaster sucks!!!   I have some great friends who have been wonderfully supportive - until I bring up MBC.  The level of denial is unreal.   That won't be you - you look great etc.  I think like most of us, I don't need someone to sit down and cry in my soup with me - but please acknowledge my reality - that's all I ask  I don't burden my friends (at least I don't think I do!) but if I do bring it up - please don't tell me everything will be fine

    So when you don't get responses  - I think the denial, thoughts of what you are going through are just too much for some folks.  Doesn't lessen the hurt tho.

    Plenty of support here - You are not alone

    Gentle hugs

    Nel

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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited October 2017

    Thank you for your support Nel. An acquaintance had commented that she thinks of me often and that she was going to share the video. That meant so much to me. It was simple and kind. I really don't get how the people close to me couldn't comment something similar. I am thinking they did not watch the video at all. They don't want to deal with it. I wish I had that luxury. That all of us had that luxury. I don't sound too resentful now do I? Just having a tough time lately. I think I will be very glad when this "pink" month is over.

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