Recently diagnosed And looking for support

I am a year and a half out from my official mets dx. I am also taking ibrance and letrozole. Not sure about SE's because I had a pretty big surgery on my neck from the bone mets. I'm definitely achy and all, but...it is working! I had a dissolved C4 from the tumor (basically broken neck), and spots on my T2 and T6. I only had radiation on my neck after surgery. I'm bionic woman now😂. Hang in there and know that there is a chance the mets can be contained or more. My scans last week are showing no active cancer anywhere. I'm in pain from the bionic neck, but so worth it. I'm 42 and have three girls ages 13,9 and 4. Best part is they consume me and are the best motivation to be present. I also get a xgeva shot once a month. You have a great source for support here.

Jodi

Hello, Metster Mom. I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. You have found a great forum, tho, that can offer lots of support. It is a very current forum, I am on here every day. I mostly check out the stage iv forum and always look for new posts where I might be able to offer support or advice such as yours here. Aside from that, there is a political thread for liberals that I follow (another for conservatives tho I don't read that thread). It is quite active.

I was diagnosed stage iv from the start in my early 50s when my son was a senior in high school. The diagnosis was er+ pr+ Her2- with metastases to several bones areas, hip, rib, scapula. Over the first nine months, I had chemo before having a lumpectomy and the 33 rounds of radiation then began taking Armidex which has kept me stable for six plus years.

The first year was difficult. I gradually pulled out of a nose dive and with inspiration from women on this forum, learned to take things a day at a time.

I have had some of the best times of my life since being diagnosed, not because of mbc but in spite of it. I have traveled to numerous places in the U.S., taken a cruise to the Bahamas, saw my son graduate magna cum laude from college, got interested in coin collecting, started doing water aerobics at the local pool this summer and so much more.

Many of us frame this as living with cancer, not dying from it. It has made a difference for me to see it in that way.

I am glad you started this thread to hear from others, and I hope more will chime in. Several years ago, I was curious about how many stage iv women were members of this forum, and with different women chiming in, after a month or so, it was at least about 350 i think. And then the question was asked again recently by another stage iv member, look for "How Many Are We?" at the top of the stage iv topics, you will see it there.

I agree with Divine. It gets easier with time, when you realize you aren't really going to die soon. I was diagnosed stage 4 in 2011, with a 10 year old and a 14 year old. They are now 16 and 20, and I'm still a very activemom in every sense of the word. I keep thinking, darn I'll never see grandchildren..but now I think i might. I believe you will see your child grow into a man. Hang in there.

Stefanie

I am loving this thread. I have been on the roller coaster since November 2015. I was diagnosed stage iv the beginning of this year. I still have days I need to hide away but I'm trucking along. My son is 13 and my daughter is 10. They are my life! I need to believe I will be here to watch them grow. It helps me to see that I'm no thanks alone and that many of you have had many years to see your children grow up:) it gives me hope:

hi ladies. Want to add my voice to this conversation. I have been dealing w/MBC for 9 years. I agree w/all the above. I wish I knew back then what I know now. I would of been less stressed for sure. 2 bone mets is nothing. BC is a major life changer, & not all for the bad. Our family has grown closer & have more respect for the preciousness of life. My husband, my rock, loves our family & shows it all the time. We have been blessed w/5 sons & one daughter. My original goal was to see my youngest graduate HS. Well, that young man is starting his 2nd year of college & has a huge heart for helping people. I have gotten to witness my oldest son graduate medical school, his older sister is 1year away from her PhD in creative writing, middle sons have finished their bachelor's degrees & my next to youngest also wants medical school. He serenades me when home w/music he has composed. Recently all is going down hill, breast cancer wise, but I am choosing to stay positive & thank God for each day I am still here. And I am grateful for antidepressants, cause sometimes you need a little help.

Sue, I am inspired by your post, too. I see you dont post much. It is great to hear about all your children and their accomplishments and how you've been able to be part of so many of their milestones. Wishing you all the best.

Im glad i found this group. Im 36 and was dx 3 weeks ago... AGAIN Its been 3 years since I was first dx. I was and kinda still am in complete shock. I started treatment last friday and luckily so far at least no real issues. Telling my kids, 12 and 8 was the worst. They watched me go thru treatment the first time and are now afraid of the side effects. They don't really understand and Im ok with that. My husband means well. He basically just wants to make it better. He works hard and provides the kids and I a great life. My parents live close by and I have tons of friends for support. I work part time and love my job. My coworkers are very understanding but I see the sympathy eyes. My kids just started school this week so I had to have the talk with their teachers and the school admin just in case one or both of them needed someone to talk to. So now when I walk down the hall I see those eyes again. I am a glass is half full, very positive, bad ass super woman so I am struggling with the reality.

Welcome MetsterMom and StrockMomma! I was also in 30s when all this started. First diagnosed at 30 and then diagnosed with mets at 38 while pregnant with my miracle baby. The whole situation can be beyond comprehension sometimes but there are many here in the same position. There is a thread for people in 30s and also one for mothers of school aged or younger children. I would recommend checking those out.

strockmomma, those Sympathy Eyes are the worst! I just tell people who give me The Eyes that my perfectly healthy best friend dropped dead of an aneurysm at her son's first high school band competition last September; since none of us are promised tomorrow, we should all make the most of today.

As I heard someone say the other day, I'm gonna live until I die!

Stay strong!!! I was diagnosed stage 4 from the get go and went 6 years NED. Currently having rads due to new mets that have "leaked" out of my skull. Not brain mets, thankfully. At this point I am symptom/reaction free and convinced that I'll go at least another 6 years until the next bump in the road.

Like you, my entire motivation is my two kids. Both were adopted 10 years ago from Russia. They have endured all of the trauma associated with being abandoned, left in an orphanage, adopted and moved to a new country, as well as the divorce of my ex and me. I have to hang on as long as possible so they won't have any additional obstacles to overcome.

Hang in there

I am 37 years old and just was diagnosed with IDC of both breasts. We agreed to the bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.

Metser-Mom, I've been on a combination of Ibrance, Letrozole, and Zoladex.

Sadly, I found out this morning that the cancer is back on my spine, and they found a spot on my liver. I've no idea what this means, but everyone at the cancer center was crying and giving me hugs and telling me to keep fighting. Somehow, that was more frightening than the news itself.

So, the protocol is shifting. They're keeping the Zoladex injection, and replacing the Letrozole and Ibrance with Faslodex and Afinitor. Should be fun... the Faslodex is administered by giving me a shot in each butt cheek. Talk about cheeky!

I'm a little anxious, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that my days are numbered. Then again, life is a death sentence, and none of us makes it out alive! I just happen to know what's likely to get me. And the blessing in this is that it makes me aware of how sweet and precious each moment of each day is, and I'm able to remember to make the most of every breath I'm given. It's amazing how much more I appreciate the time I spend with my friends, and my husband, and my beautiful daughters.

Psalm 27:13 says, "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (NASB) I have seen His goodness, and I believe I will continue to see His goodness. Whether the days ahead hold healing or a homecoming, I'm going to keep looking for His blessings.

And now I need another tissue to sop up my soggy face.