The Forgotten Ones..

Nancy, it really sounds like you have done very well, congratulations. I hope that lasts for a very long time for you. As far as your sisters, and others, I've came to the conclusion that there are many different reasons why people say those things. Maybe they are in denial, where they just can't believe any other way. Sometimes I think people really don't know what to say, so that comes out because they don't want to sound pessimistic. My personal feelings is that people really just don't know what to say, I think the majority of time they have good intentions even though we don't perceive it that way. Although I do believe some people are just ignorant about breast cancer. After all, the way it is broadcasted breast cancer is just pretty in pink. My mom actually told me when I was originally diagnosed, that I would be fine, that no one died from breast cancer. What's so sad is she truly believed that and probably still does. As time goes by for me, it is easier to let people's comments just roll off my back. Just find at least one person that truly understands that you can discuss things with. Best wishes to you. Enjoy the moment

Hi everyone. I agree! There is just not enough support and awareness for stage 4 BC. Pinktober never addresses it and thats a disservice to all living with it. I respect and applaud all of you dealing with it so bravely. Good luck and I have not forgotten you!

nowaldron, I am glad you have faired well with treatment.

I agree with everything that everyone has said here. It is true that many people who do not have bc have an erroneous perception of what that "looks" like, and this is often due to what the media puts out there. Of course, the media wants to make money off of the disease, so they either plaster the horribly sick looking women with no hair or eyebrows, fragilly thin and anemic looking, for the sympathy vote, or they are flashing the look-at-me, I am practically as beautiful as a celebrity (or I am one) while I go thru cancer treatment and my life is filled with positively pink promises of stamping this disease out forever, the feel-good vote.

So there often isn't a true portrayal of mbc out there and it puts those of us dealing with it at a disadvantage. One woman I know seemed crushed that all I was currently doing to treat this was taking a daily pill, as tho I were getting quack treatment like I was badly misinformed oe uneducated on the matter. That's because so many people dealing with different types of cancer at lesser stages do go thru hectic treatment and look like death warmed over during the process, but then they move on. And the public seems only aware of stage iv cancer patients that pass quickly after the diagnosis and not ones who,become exceptional responders managing to stay stable for longer stretches with treatment.. At times, I have to remind myself I am not an mbc imposter! Because I worry that some people might think so because I look "normal".

I too have learned to accept the way other deal with my diagnosis. No, it isnt always easy. This forum is a godsend to be able to connect with women having the same experiences. It helps my sanity.