I had my port placement yesterday, and even though it went smoothly, I'm in a lot more pain than I thought I'd be. I'm icing often and taking Tylenol. Today was my echo cardiogram, because insurance denied the Muga heart scan. I checked with my daughter in law the doctor, and she assured me they are very comparable tests. Tomorrow I meet with my MO again and have my CT scan. AC+Taxol starts May 3, a week from today. It's the day after my 59th birthday, some present, huh? I keep saying "I can't, I just can't do this!" But then I remind myself that I have no choice. I have to make sure to kick it hard enough so it doesn't come back. Still, I'm terrified.

dimetriamajor1,

I started chemo on April 3rd, every other week for 8 weeks, of Adriamycin/Doxorubicin. I was a complete basket case, before & after my first and 2nd second treatment it was ridiculous to say the least. I am human, I have breast cancer..........I have that right by gosh! My oncologist had to put me on depression meds & a sleeping medication. The sleeping pill just kicked in last night after 3 days of taking it and only sleeping (2) nights for the last week, oh and working with no sleep as well. I live alone as well, in a small town with 2 dogs and a cat. My Mama & Sister live near by, but my Mama owns her own restaurant and constantly works, so I'm alone a lot and my BF (man of my dreams) lives 45 minutes away, has a swing shift job and has a 13 year old daughter, which he has A LOT. My children live in Florida and yes, I feel very, very lonely at times........I cry a lot....I try to read my Bible....I pray...I beg....I cry. It's hard when you are "walking through this" alone.....nobody at home to talk too. My Mama takes me to chemo every other Monday and I started going home with her after chemo #2, I went home by myself after #1, just can't do it again, too much for me. The first one was rough, I think because I was by myself afterwards and still scared to death, the second one...........it wasn't as bad, I drank SO MUCH WATER during my treatment, I think that helped a lot, I don't care for water, but I have no choice. I do not work during chemo week, I can't, I'm too weak to drive and accomplish anything (I work for a very understanding man who had cancer before). NOT EVERYBODY IS THE SAME, so please don't feed into what others have felt after chemo.......it will just fuel the burning pit in your stomach, it's not worth the worry at all. I still have a small pit in my stomach, I have a hard time eating during chemo week and even now, I've dropped 20 pounds in the last 5 weeks, it's my nerves and I guess the chemo. I'm not the same person I was before March 20th 2017 AT ALL and that it really sad, but I'm trying to climb this huge mountain and get back to my fun loving, happy go lucky, positive attitude, take the bull by the horns self! I don't want to do this at all, but I have no choice.....either I take all theses chemo treatments and have a double mastectomy or.....the alternative......that's it...period.....I just let my doctor tell me what we are gonna do and do it. She has my best interest and I truly believe this. I hate that we have to go through this, it stinks, but I know God has a purpose for everything and I really believe that. I'm here for you, I wish I could give you a hug.

Started chemo 4/3.

msrobin, I'm glad to hear your experience today was better. The section facing the trees sounds nice. I noticed at my infusion center that there is a pond just outside the windows. I'm hoping to be able to sit facing that. I am confident you can do this. I think we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We just don't know it until we are facing something like this and have to force ourselves to deal with things we never imagined we could.

Just had a thought.......make sure you place the numbing cream on your port area 30 minutes before accessing. I place a huge amount over my port and then place a clear strip, like a band aide over that, you won't feel a thing when they begin treatment, I promise. Drink LOTS of water, relax and just know, you are one step closer to being cancer free.

Rukoni - If Neulasta isn't covered by your ins.... You might want to see if weekly Taxol is an option for you instead of every 3 week Taxotere. Since it is administered more often, it is a lower dose, so Nuelasta is typically not needed, as your WBC won't crash as hard. They are known to be equally effective - per the studies. Neulasta is very very expensive - think mine was $6000 - $8000 per injection, so you don't want to find yourself needing it. Best of luck - Oh, and I would also recommend cold caps - as I am one of the unlucky 10% that didn't get her hair back after Taxotere.

Met with MO yesterday and will be starting ACT 8 cycles. First 4 cycles of AC and 4 cycles of T

Also will be getting zoladex injection on monday

My mind is kind of blank right now . Just want to get it over it asap

Hi LeesaD,

My BMX wo recon but with SNB and ALND was on 02/15/17. My port was placed on 03/17/17 and chemo #1 on

03/21/17Remember to ask for some strong pain meds for morning after the placement. I just remembered usually a wk after port gets placed, Oncos order chemo.

Just my two cents about anxiety meds. I take Ativan which helps w anxiety , sleep and the med is good for mild nausea. During my first AC, my appetite was good enough. But i had severe diarrehea probably from 3 steroids I took. I dropped 9 pounds before second chemo. I was hesitant because it is anxiety med. After I saw "for nausea", I have been taking twice a day 0.5 mcg.

Hi LeesaD, Scanxiety is an excellent descriptor for this roller coaster ride of BC diagnosis and treatment. I told my PCP that I am sometimes paralyzed with fear and haven't had a full, good night's sleep since she called with my biopsy results on 4/12. She prescribed buspirone (5 mg, 2X a day), which has to be taken continuously. Now I'm sitting here reading the "How to Use" and "Side Effects," and really weighing the benefit to risk. "When this medication is started symptoms of anxiety may sometimes get worse before they improve. Dizziness, drowsiness, headache, nausea, nervousness, lightheadedness, restlessness, blurred vision, tiredness, and trouble sleeping may occur. Rarely, patients may develop movement disorders...in some cases, these conditions may be permanent." Yikes! Plus, it requires taking at the same times every day, under the same conditions (you decide with or w/o food but have to stick with that decision), takes a month or more to feel the full effects and reacts with a number of OTC meds. One of our community members (on a different thread) told me that she has been on buspirone for 15 years and the only SE she has had is fatigue which went away once she got used to the medication. Still, I just don't know if I should risk it. I hope others with experience see this post and comment.

I met my MO for the first time yesterday - I will be receiving neo adjuvant chemo over a span of 20 weeks (then follow with surgery, radiation therapy and hormone therapy). First, Adriamycin® (Doxorubicin) and Cytoxan® (Cyclophosamide) for 4 treatments, one every other week for a total 8 weeks. Followed by Taxol® (Paclitaxel), 12 treatments, one a week for 12 weeks. He explained that there is really no difference in recurrence rates between chemo before or after surgery, but that neo adjuvant chemo is done to benefit surgery. In my case, my surgeon would like to see the tumor shrink and give me the option for a lumpectomy and hopefully fewer lymph removed.

No definite start date for chemo yet, but my single lumen port placement has been scheduled for 5/10. Problem is, I've been reading all the posts about port placement and it sounds like there's quite a bit of pain and stiffness for a day or two after. I have a big family celebration that I'd like to show up for on 5/12. Few people (my immediate family, employer and 3 close friends) know I was diagnosed with BC 4/12, and I'd like to keep it that way a while longer. I wonder if my MO would be open to letting me use an IV for my first chemo treatment, then having the port put in before the 2nd?

I guess that's a question for 5/5 when I go back to the oncology clinic to meet with the Nurse Practitioner for chemo counseling. Maybe I can also ask if the MO can prescribe another type of anxiety medication - one that I can take just when I really need it, and not continually. I take enough meds as it is, and soon I'll be filled to the brim. Doesn't it seem strange to be relying on toxins to make us better? But that's science, and as my MO said to me yesterday, "Cancer is Biology." No wonder that was never my favorite subject.

Starting Chemotherapy May 2, that is.

I start neoadjuvant AC tomorrow at 0900. Getting my first round in a peripheral IV just so we can get this party started-- I have a big effing mass that came out of nowhere.

Only two more days till they start pumping me full of poison. Chemo starts Wednesday, my first dose of AC, four total, two weeks apart. Then I'll have twelve weekly doses of Taxol, then radiation. I've already had my surgery, lumpectomy with reconstruction on that side only. Terrified is putting it mildly. I feel like I'm just waiting for a certain tornado to hit. Even though my nodes and margins were clear, my tumor size of 3.9, grade three, and 66 OncotypeDX score guaranteed me chemo. 66! Ugh.

I did have medicine for the spirit this weekend, as my son and daughter in-law came to visit overnight, bringing my three dear grandchildren. There was no time for worry while they were here. My daughter in law is a doctor herself, so I consult with her by text. She brought me the sweetest chemo care basket, with sea-band, an iTunes card, a blanket, a Sudoku book, and a gardening magazine. She says there is proven research on the sea-band, so it might be worth trying.