Lumpectomy Panic?
Hi everyone --
I posted about a month ago, I think. I've been so proud of myself for being "together" and fine with the process. Then this week happened. I have my lumpectomy scheduled for Friday. I had an MRI done last week because my genetic testing came back as CHEK2 positive, so we wanted a clearer picture of everything. I received the MRI results on Monday.
My breasts aren't large (34C). They're fine and they're mine, and I've never really thought I cared about them one way or the other until now. I spoke with the surgeon this morning. They're wanting to take 6cmx3cmx2.5cm. This seems like a huge amount. She said that it's going to be close to the nipple, but if I don't like the results, I'd probably lose the nipple anyway so we won't know until we try. Now I'm imagining waking up Friday afternoon with a huge crater and no nipple (I know this isn't going to happen, of course; well, the crater will be there, but the nipple should still be there, I think). I wish I wasn't such a worrier.
I am terrified now. Logically, I understand this isn't the end of the world. It's a breast, right? But I'm still sad, I guess. I'm 33. IF my life expectancy is supposed to be 75-90, that's a lot of years to live trying to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I just wanted a lumpectomy to keep my breasts, and I still want a lumpectomy to keep them, but I was really hoping it wouldn't be terrible to look at. I was about 9 years old when a woman took me in a garage and asked me if I wanted to see what breast cancer does and she lifted her shirt to show me the scars of a mastectomy; she even urged me to touch them. It was such a strange experience. While every woman's journey is her journey, I know, this experience has put a lot of fear in me, I think.
Now I worry I should have gotten a second opinion. Or that I didn't do enough research to find out everything I could about everything there is.
I'm mostly just posting here because I have my husband for support, and he's been great, but he's much better at handling things as just things. I'm the emotional one
Comments
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Has your surgeon spoken to you about oncoplasty during the lumpectomy? This process can reposition tissue within the breast during the lumpectomy so the defect is less noticeable. It is also potentially more likely to be covered by insurance if done at the time of the surgery rather than trying to address correction of a defect, say by fat grafting, afterward - although that is a possibility as well. I also find it helpful to think about the cm in inches, so what would be removed is roughly 2inx1inx1in - still a sizeable amount, but somehow seems smaller when stated in inches. You are so young, if I were I your shoes I would feel exactly as you do and would want to maximize the aesthetic, if at all possible. And, what an odd and disconcerting experience with the mastectomy lady - eeesh! What 9 year old needs that? I am so sorry that happened to you!
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Thanks, SpecialK. The surgeon will do oncoplasty. She's been really wonderful about balancing the cancer part of this experience with the cosmetic 'ideals' I have. It helps to have the nurse, the doctor, and you agree that my concerns are valid. I just don't want it to seem like I don't care about the cancer, because I do, but if this is really going to just be a tiny part of my life, then I want to feel happyish with how I look for awhile longer, too.
We'll see how it goes. Thanks so much, again!!
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Wishing you the best and keeping my fingers crossed for a great outcome to your surgery and a long, happy future for you!
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Don't be alarmed if it looks really misshaped right after surgery. It takes about a year for the fat to shift around and fill in the area. I, myself, wore a partial prosthesis in my bra for awhile, and then one day realized that I didn't need it anymore. A little story, I had a swimsuit that I loved with a soft cup bra. I had a lumpectomy in March & there was no way I could wear my suit that summer, the size/shape difference between my breasts was too obvious in it......by the next summer, I was back in the suit and looking fine! Best of luck and give it some time, what it looks like at first will NOT be your final result.
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Hi Avidreader. I hope you are doing well after surgery, which I believe was yesterday. I had a lumpectomy followed by oncoplasty last year. No dents but the lumpectomy breast looks smaller without clothes. With clothes no one can tell. I saw a plastic surgeon who said she can lift the good breast; she thought that was all I needed to be more symmetrical. I haven't done it yet.. don't know that I will. I'm a 32 D or DD so pretty similar in size to you.
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Avidreader,
Hope you are doing well. Please report back on if you were able to keep your nipple or not.
I am smaller breasted than you and my tumor was immediately next to my nipple, so it had to go. I had reconstruction a couple of years later. Got a tattooed areola and an origami nipple. As I am older, I didn't ask for fat grafting. I'm bit of mesa shaped, but that was my choice to limit reconstruction. Is there a difference between breasts, yes. Do I notice this much, no. My BC breast was significantly larger than my healthy one, it still is nearly a cup larger even with my breast LE is now dormant.
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I had the same experience as you did. I have two tumors (1.9cm and 1.4 cm) and one is just underneath the nipple, I had NAC and before my surgery I did MRI which showed that there are still residual lump left under the nipple, but the other were gone. I discussed about MX vs. LX with the surgeon and she recommended doing a LX first to see if she can get a clear margin on the nipple so it can be saved. If not, another surgery will be needed to remove the nipple complex.
She also told me that there could be a defect there but it can be resolved by fat grafting or even a implant. During the surgery she took out 6cm x 4cm x3cm and now it is 11 days post surgery my breast looks perfectly symmetric, almost like nothing has changed. I am really happy with the outcomes and I got my pathology report last Friday, and no cells were found in my nipple and the resection margins are clear, no more surgery needed!
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Qianqian - That is great news to hear! I'm debating the MX vs LX and have concerns about how my breast will look and feel afterwards. I think there's more problems with cosmetic outcome since it's on the top of my breast and I'm not very big to begin with.
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I had a lumpectomy. My thought was that if I wasn't happy, I could do a mastectomy later but once my breast was gone, it was gone forever. As time has past, I am even more glad that I made that choice. This is just me, but I would have had a hard time being flat, but the more I have learned about the problems with reconstruction, the less I think that I could ever go through that process (and it is a process, not a one shot and you're done type of thing). I also wanted as quick of a recovery time as possible, with the least chance of complications (which, like any surgery, the more extensive the surgery, the more chance there is of that). Radiation, for me, was the easiest part of the whole treatment. I had no bad SEs then or later. That breast actually looks 'perkier' than the other one. A friend of mine had BC about 35 years ago. Back then the only choice was a mastectomy. One reconstruction became widely available, she did reconstruct. She is a surgical nurse, so has seen the whole thing from both sides of the operating table. When I asked her advice, without skipping a beat she said, "If you have a choice, go with a lumpectomy."
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