New to Recurrent Stage IV and need insight

thebrave5, first let me say I am so sorry you've been diagnosed stage 4. That news is enough to send anyone panicking. First thing you need is time, initially the news and worrying about everything need to sink in.

Now, about having a job and disability etc. A lot will depend on where your mets are, do you have symptoms from your mets etc. If you are not experiencing a lot of symptoms and want to make sure you stay as healthy as possible during the chemo, try to keep exercising, Even a brisk walk can take care of this. Exercise can and does help with side effects of any treatment and the related fatigue. If you can do it, this I recommend right away.

The chemo you get as a stage 4 is weaker than what you would get when they are trying to cure an earlier stage. The only goal for stage 4 chemo is to shrink or at least hold stable mets. If they are bone only, you may even go some years before going elsewhere. Time and quality of life can be good as a stage 4 for years. Treatments are much better than they used to be, even in the past few years. Lots of Stage 4 gals here have been able to maintain working treatment and a job and still have a good life. It's so different for everyone.

It would be hard for anyone to predict how long we stay healthy for, it can be a good number of years. Do NOT look to Google to try to find statistics on this, they are old and depressing. Just go by how you feel. If you feel decent, that is all that matters.

I wish you the best of luck. I am sure others will be along to offer their advice. Hugs to you and your family and good luck. Also, when you have time and some of the shock has worn off, do fill out your profile. That way, if you have other questions re treatment, side effects, we can be more effective help for you.

If you look to the right, you should be able to change from private to public , then your info will be visible. That is most likely the problem. Glad I could help.

Brave, sorry for the turn of events. Try not to project yourself too far into the future. Try to focus on one day at a time. As you move forward, you will start to know what your work options are and what will work best for you. You do not have to make immediate decisions. You may find the chemo tolerable. You may find yourself able to juggle a few more things once this initial shock of diagnosis wears off. You don't know right now, so let the situation unfold a bit at a time and see how things go for you. Everyone is different.

I was dx stage iv from the start and living six plus years with the disease. I worked part time for almost five years after dx, taking off some days the weeks I had chemo. I have packed a lot of living into these past six years. Be very good to yourself. You will look at everything from a different perspective and as time goes on you will figure out what will be best for you.

There's a thread on disability in the "financial" forum. Take a look. As I understand it (and I'm not a lawyer nor have I gone through this) one of the "you are automatically approved for long-term disability" is advanced cancer.

If your workplace has a LTD plan, ask for a copy of the policy and read it through. I did -- it took SOME doing. The policy confirmed that I could choose it. For me, that policy will require that I apply for Social Security Disability. We're also automatically eligible for that.

The only thing to be careful of is your health benefits. SSD comes with a 2-year waiting period for medicare. I eventually had to ask my workplace what happened to my health insurance if I went on disability. The answer I got was "we determine that on a case by case basis". Oy.

Please, please don't take my word for any of this but consult an expert. There was a lawyer answering questions on that disability thread.

singlemom, great advice on seeing a financial advisor.

Brave, I once read a book years before bc that talked about those times of uncertainty. It gave the analogy of being a surfer on the waves. You kind of have to ride things out for a period of time. It is an approach that's helped me numerous times over the years in different circumstances.

I also read more recently that the opposite of uncertainty is not certainty. It is openmindedness. This is an interesting philosophy and has also helped me take on the challenges I've faced and has also helped me not to just expect the worse. Some of the best times and moments of my life happened after bc, not because of it but in spite of it. Having this forum and knowing how other women coped has been a huge support to me, too.

That is a fantastic philosophy, MrsM. Yes, in the face of uncertainty, why not be open-minded? Everything is possible!

I chose not to return to work. It was obvious to me that I did not need the extra stress. I heard a doctor at a conference say that this, like no other point in your life, is the time to focus on YOU.

my onc wants to take away taxotere after 6 tx's says that's enough, neuropathy will get bad if I do anymore, wants to just keep me on h and p for liver, bone mets, what are your thoughts on this, what are my chances that I will get brain mets? Nervous to stop chem

Im also a recent DX. Everyone is so helpful, so lucky to have this forum. It is so overwhelming with Dr appts, scans, bloodwork, etc. And I can't get appt after 4, they do assume I have no job. I will ride this out for a while before making any decision.

Hi all,

Just popping in here with some helpful information from the main Breastcancer.org site's Recurrent and Metastatic Breast Cancer section on Working After a Recurrent or Metastatic Breast Cancer Diagnosis.

We hope you find this information helpful!

--The Mods