Just Need To Vent

Becs511

I'm so sorry this has happened to you on top of everything else. Can you work from home till you can arrange something else? This isn't the end of your career just a detour. Have you been able to source any gov agencies to help find a part-time job to keep your hand in. Just don't give up because you've been hit hard by life. You can overcome this. I'm sure there is someone here that can give you good advise. I'm sending you all the good vibs I can. April

Becs, I don't know what I would do if I lost my job. I love it and it gives me something to do. I really feel for you.

I like Kandy's advice. If you didn't have cancer, what would you do now? Presumably go out and look for another job. Maybe you need/want a different sort of job. Or maybe you don't want to be tied to 9-5. Maybe you'd rather volunteer?

On a practical level applying for disability is an excellent idea. When that COBRA runs out you'll need options and Medicare has a waiting period.

Becs, I can understand how you feel like the wind's been knocked out of your sails. I've been in similar situations numerous times in my life.

Years ago, as I read a book that covered this topic on how to deal with the sort of "unknown", I jotted some pointers down in a notebook. I've referred to different things in the notebook over the years.

Here are a few of the things I took note of. It is okay if you don't think any of it pertains to your situation. But maybe just one thought here might help you as you sort through the job lay off. [Btw, I agree with the others who say this isn't "retiring". You may be very surprised how your life changes; you have so many things going in your favor. But you're smart to file for disability and it's great that you have the severance and cobra insurance for the time being].

"Holding Your Center During The Unknown "

1. See this as a natural part of life. This has the effect of opening your energy field to emerging information. Like water, go with the flow.

2. Assume there is a purpose to this time even if you don't see it yet. Everything is unknown to you, thus you have no limiting preconceptions about what might or might not happen. Your normal activity is disrupted, opening a new space requiring new choices.

3. Feel and acknowledge your feelings.

4. Give yourself time to be alone for self-reflection. Listen to your inner voice. An internal shift is going to happen.

5. See this as a time for self-renewal. Stay current, not regretting the past or having fear of the future.
*Spend time in nature. (I find this one very helpful).

6. Do less. Don't expect to be a superperson.

7. Deepen your spiritual connection. It will connect your energy field to the universal field of wisdom where you will draw strength.
"Holding on" requires focusing on what you want and staying in the present. Let the long term take care of itself for the moment.
"Holding on" is more akin to *surfing or gardening than to building. (Altho I flower garden, the surfing image really resonates with me).

Becs, I am so sorry you lost your job. It must feel scary. I understand about your career being a HUGE part of your identity.

I would suggest that *if* you want to continue to work, apply for jobs you want and sort out the rest later. This is your life and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do this or that. That is up to you. And don't assume employers will not be accommodating. You can tell them as little or as much as you like and simply tell them what you need as far as accommodations in a clear manner. It sounds like you are a professional - there seems to be more flexibility with professional roles. Worst case scenario, you can leave if a new employer is not accommodating.

I was about to accept a job offer when originally diagnosed with early stage at 30. I assumed that I would have to turn it down, given upcoming surgery and dose dense chemo and all the unknowns. I had a colleague that urged me to take the job - that it was mine - and I shouldn't give it up before I tried. I accepted the job, asked for HR to send me the full summary health plan book confirming health benefits/disability, and asked to start several months later. Although they were looking for someone to start immediately, they let me start later. I started several days after my hair fell out from first chemo treatment. I never told anyone about the BC until my last chemo treatment. I told my then boss upon starting that I had appointments every two-weeks in the afternoon on Friday. He didn't ask any questions. I have been there for 10 years now. I currently don't tell anyone about my Stage 4 dx. I tell my current boss the same thing - that I have a recurring appointment every three weeks. She doesn't ask. That first experience started out terrifying and felt like a cruel joke . . . . but ended up giving me the confidence and fearlessness to do it again, if need be, at some point during my Stage 4 tenure. I have definitely entertained interviews since being diagnosed with Stage 4 and would not hesitate to move for the right offer. I am also now sorting out whether to leave and start my own business.

I know you have many more layers of complication with Stage 4 and brain mets/seizure disorder but so what?! Figuring out the logistics should be step 2. Step 1 is pursuing jobs you want.

Whether you decide to pursue new job opportunities or choose a different path, I wish you luck, amazing opportunities and satisfaction.

The Young Survival Coalition is in NYC, in the Financial District. If you would be interested in getting involved/employed with them, I would recommend it. I know other women with BC who have been hired by them. I have done a lot of leadership work with them over the years.

I agree with JFL. Employers will probably be more accommodating than you think. And being in "the city that never sleeps" theres jobs that have less than traditional hours, which could help with appointment scheduling.As far as the seizures go, it's a worry for me too, having an episode and it being obvious to everyone, but so far that hasn't happened. And I have a good friend that works a demanding job in NYC and he has seizures - grand mal only, never figured out the cause. But he still is at the same job and it seems like it isn't a problem.

I'm so glad that you have started to get a plan together, that alone will make you feel better. I'm hoping that in the end it will be a positive thing that happened and you will be happier. Best wishes to you.