Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Best wishes to everyone on the day after Christmas. We had a sunny, warm and somewhat muggy day, in terms of weather.

My mother was there but not feeling well. She was in a reclining chair covered with a quilt and not her normal self at all. We are expecting this to be her last Christmas. Nature is taking its course.

Sandra, hug to you. I cannot imagine what you and Mike have been/still are going through.

Sandy, it's fun to think of you in New York City. Enjoy!

It is warm here today ( 60 degrees ) as I think about all of you. Those who are having some rough times ( Sandra & Mike ) and facing inevitabilities ( Carole ) and all of us as well --- we are here and the only choice is to do our very best. We are going to get tired, fall down a bit, maybe even on a once in a while occasion feel some mild resentment for the turn of our lives and that of our loved ones --- but we are truly doing the VERY best we can. There is no fault in that.

Even yrs. and yrs. later I wonder if I could have done more for my own Mom & Dad. It is how we are made. In reality, our responses are perfect as lessons are being learned and a design is being adhered to and even if we don't know now what it all references and means to us and others --- we will. So, I do think, but I don' beat myself up.

The sun will be coming back to us, by tomorrow I think. Not too soon for me. The rest of the week will be nice, but then, we may have some more winter. As we have not had any real snow as yet --- I'm wondering. We were due ( or so it was said ) for a truly rough winter but so far --- as I knock on wood quite quickly. Hoping that between that --- and a new efficient furnace --- maybe our propane will not be as bad as it might have been. They did tell us our next budget billing would be much higher. It is $55.00 per month this season which I think is the lowest we have perhaps ever paid. I

I hope this day after X-mas ( exchanges ) isn't too difficult or tedious.

The "lower leg" Lymphedema.... Yes, on the left side... Much worse after the broken hip and surgery with screws, drains and a rod! I watched on You Tube how to massage the lymphatic system on legs.... Really helps when it flares up. Also elevating your legs when resting!

Thinking of you Sandra....! Best wishes for Mike and you....

Sun is shining but don't think it will get up to 60 today. We will just have to get along. Had hoped to vac my car out in prep for cleaning the interior with Amour-All, but didn't make it. Had to do my Walmarts for what I forgot when I was there before --- so home late again and no time to mess with the fun stuff. Since the sun it out bright today I still might be able this afternoon to do what I need to with my car.

Lots of general thoughts for the yr. ahead, but I don't make New Years resolutions. My inspiration for better changes comes with the first signs of Spring and fresh growth and things turning that beautiful shade of the first green of Spring. It is always magical for me and I am full of gratitude as well as inspiration then. So, I have a lot to look forward to coming up. I hope you are all going to have a great day.

Jackie

Belated Merry Christmas to all.

Like Carole, I am mostly glad they are over. They just don't excite me at all. I know a big part is that the family is so scattered, and even with those who are local, I seem to fall at the bottom of the list. My DD and her family had to spend most of the day at her FIL's and didn't get here till after 4. I suppose I should be happy- it's the first time in years they've stayed for dinner. Her MIL came with them, like she did last Thanksgiving. Tracy prepared most of the meal, but the MIL can't sit and relax, so she jumps right in to help Tracy, which would be great if she didn't tell Tracy that she was doing everything wrong and should do it this way instead. The worst was at dinner. I always keep the youngest grandkids next to me at the table. Someone suggested I say grace, and Kayden, being totally Kayden picked up his water bottle to take a drink. Mimi reached over and knocked the bottle out of his mouth. Way overboard for a grandmother's reaction.

Then my youngest one and his new wife stopped by about 7 for a whole 30 minutes. We set a date to meet for lunch today, and as usual, he "forgot". The last time we had a meal together was nine month's ago, when Jamie had Alexandra. He works at the hospital and we met and ate in the hospital cafeteria. I cannot tell you how many times we have made plans that he "forgets"

It's not helping at all that Jamie will be moving to Lake Placid, FL within the next few weeks. I cannot imagine not seeing the kids on pretty much a daily basis. She says she'll be coming down every Fri when the kids get home from school, and spend the night, going back Sat morning. Seeing me is just convenient, she will really be coming down to deliver the remotes her husband makes to the man who sells them. I should be glad they're getting out of the warehouse, but they are moving into a 2 bed, 1 bath apt. They're a family of 5. I am so heartbroken, I can't even talk about it without crying. Neither of the older kids want to go at all. Jamie's life is chaotic to say the least. My home is the only real home they have had.

My oldest daughter in Atlanta, had her in-laws for the holiday for the first time in at least four years. MIL got so mad when the moved to Ga, and it just got worse when we bought the house for them. The final straw was that when my DD and family drove down for a weekend, because my husband was failing quickly, and two siblings called her without knowing the other was calling to tell her if she wanted to see her Dad alive one last time, she needed to come. MIL was furious that they didn't make a side trip to see her. An extra 2 hr drive. So she dropped off the map, and none of us heard a word from her until she showed up for Jamie's baby shower. Then out of the blue, she decided she wanted to go to them for Christmas. And fo some reason, Nancy has been terribly homesick this year and regretting the move.

And my DS's marriage is getting worse by the minute. When Nancy called to wish him Merry Christmas, he said he had spent the day cleaning glitter off the floor. Nancy told him he would miss the holiday chaos one day, and he said, no he wouldn't, because they are nothing but stressful.

As you can tell, I am not in a very good place right now. I hope everyone is doing well. I just read through pages of entries, but my mind won't retain particulars, so just know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Anne

Bonnets, We only do presents for children. As we get older, they probably have more money than we do and we certainly don't need another thing. I gave DH pajamas and a billfold. He gave me a watercolor pad for class and 2 colors I needed. We're both happy. Our anniversary is New Year's Eve and we're going to get something for the house. Perhaps a new sofa.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

So much for doing nothing on New Year's Eve. Dh made plans for us to go out to dinner with another couple we've known for years, dating back to our days of playing tennis. I like the restaurant. Can't say the couple are my favorite people but they will probably be good company. We're going to their house before dinner and I will be interested in seeing the interior. It's fairly new and she's quite the decorator with money not a problem.

The house is on one of the golf courses I play and I've admired the over landscaped back yard.

Today I cancelled on golf and stayed home. I just caught up on some ironing and am having a cup of coffee. I just might go to Michael's and Hobby Lobby and look for yarn for an heirloom afghan. Every square is different and the project should be a challenge. Both those stores are just down the highway, 3 to 5 minutes away.

Hope every is having a good Wednesday.

Learn to become still.
And to take your attention away from what you don't want,
and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith

Slapping myself on the forehead! Stage 5 is dialysis. Stage 1 is the healthiest category.

I just lit our fireplace. A front blew in today, clearing out the muggies. We'll have some days of winter, very welcome for me.

I spent several hours with my mother this afternoon. She has not yet recovered from her 2nd procedure to crush a very large kidney stone. She snapped back after the first procedure but not the 2nd. At least she isn't staying in bed all day as she was doing last week.

Hope everyone is having a good evening

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my friends here. (That is all of you, I hope!)

I read back a few pages and maybe missed one, but there are always needs for listening, understanding, and prayers. 
Jackie, I am quite impressed that DH has found another job immediately.  Wow...what an example to others to not waste time rehashing how bad the situation could be!  I hope it works out for you both.

Carole, enjoy your New Years dinner. I hope your mother is comfortable and peaceful.  She is blessed to have her family nearby.
My Dh made a New Year's reservation for four here, and I have no idea who is going....

Ducky, I saw  your post and all your bragging about being the oldest.  I guess that does give you some weight here....so good to have you!  And you bring out the best in Chevy so it could be fun.

Bonnets, sorry to hear that your family has seemed to have forgotten how to keep in touch.  It forces us to "not care" but deep down, we all want a little acknowledgment and affirmation.  My family scattered this year and it was different.  I just suppressed my real feelings and stepped up to the plans that unfolded.  

I ended up having a very quiet Christmas Eve but a nice Christmas day at my DD#2 in CT - with her two children and my DS from Chicago.  We slept over this year instead of rushing out for the last ferry.
My DD#1 and my 2 grandsons came for a quick visit  from DC.  I did some extra prep of guest rooms, gifting and last minute decorating with kids' things.  We had fun shopping, bowling, and going out for great Italian dinner.   They left Wednesday, and then, of course, I started to come down with a head cold.  I hope it leaves as quickly as it arrived.

There are so many others here who are special to me...thanks again, Jackie, for being the best anchor woman on BCO!  Anne, Sandra, Wren, Puffin, Chi Sandy, Jean...and so many others I can't name right now, wishing you a peaceful and healthy year to come.

PS...as this year comes to a close, I want to remember my friend Blondie (Sandy) who posted here when she could.  She lost her fight with BC in 2016; but she did it her way - stopping chemo and living through two more birthdays.  May she soar with freedom among the stars.

"Pause and remember: Every single event in your life, especially the difficult lessons, have made you smarter, stronger and wiser than you were yesterday."

-- Jenni Young

I hope all of you wonderful ladies have a Blessed and Healthy New Year!!!

meghar, that's great news about your Mom. I hope she continues to do well.

I had an awesome Christmas with my family and will be keeping my youngest granddaughter this week-end at my DD's. Weather is not winter-like, but that's why I live in Texas!:)

I love to read your posts. You all sound so busy. I think my busy is my grandkids and work...so, life is good. I do want to start doing something new this year...any ideas? I do some volunteering with a dog rescue group, love to bake and garden.

Blessings,

Terri

Have a very Happy New Year, Ladies!! Wishing you all the best. Don't do anything I wouldn't do at your parties tonight.

Blessings,

Jackie