Mom diagnosed, heartbroken and terrified

Hi!

I'm sorry that your Mom has been diagnosed, and that you have to worry so much about her. In my experience, you don't learn that much on the day of an MRI. It takes a day or so for a radiologist to look at the scans and to make any determinations.

I'm assuming that your Mom had a breast MRI. That MRI will be used to confirm the findings of the ultrasound and see if there's anything else that her medical team has to be concerned about. For example, a breast MRI might reveal whether or not any of your Mom's lymph nodes look compromised.

By Friday, your Mom's surgeon should have the radiologist's report, and he can discuss any findings with her at that appointment.

As for the timing of appointments, in the US, appointments can be set up pretty quickly. Doctors may also be more aggressive if they think that the cancer is invasive as opposed to being "in situ." But, I wouldn't read too much into the timing of the appointments.

Best wishes!

Melynn-

We are so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. We know that this is a scary, uncertain time, and you have (and will continue to have) lots of questions. You got some good advice here from members who've been where your mom is, and there's lots of info here to help you all as you get more information from her doctors. We also encourage you check out our forum for caregivers and family members; coping with a family member's diagnosis can be very difficult, and finding ways to help them while still taking care of yourself during this time is important. You can find that forum here: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/16.

Please let us know if we can be of any assistance, and remember, you and your family are not alone in this!

The Mods

Melynn--Take some deep breaths, and don't read anything into your mom's phone messages or into incomplete information. As others have said, good practitioners need time to do thorough analyses of pathollogy samples and imaging--and your mom's surgeon will have all the information needed by your mom's appointment. Perhaps at that point the surgeon might order more testing--or may be ready to recommend an action plan if s/he has all the data needed. If your are comfortable doing so, you might consider asking your mother if she would like you to accompany her and your father to that Friday appointment, but if she says "No," take that answer to your offer gracefully and let her wait until she is ready to tell you about her situation.

Your mom may just be waiting to say anything to you until her whole file is complete and she herself knows what lies ahead in her future. For example, when I was diagnosed (at 71), my husband and I decided to say nothing to our grown children--then 41 and 37--until my surgery plan was in place (that also meant we could wait until after Christmas and New Year's too). Mothers remain mothers all their lives, which means we tend to protect our children, even the grown ones, from anxiety over the unknown as much as we can! Good luck to all of you as you work through this.

Hugs, hang in there. You are a good daughter to be there for your mom. My kids have been so good to me.

Melynn. You ARE a good daughter. Nothing shameful over crying and being scared for your mum. I am sure she appreciates your attendance at her appointment and understands your fear, and the tears. Blessings and light to you both.

I am 79 years old and from diagnosed to post operative and had cancer with other breast 1982...all I can say. it is very common to be fearful and loads of anxiety is quite normal. I went for total breast removal. Try and talk your dr into keeping you overnite. they like to let everyone out same day. this is major surgery and age has nothing to do with recovery that I can see.

I have copd and...my 02 is a tad low.

All will be fine. I do not what stage mine is yet. Invasive lobular breast cancer.

Hi alma1947a, and welcome to BCO.